STRANGE THINGS THAT OCCUR TO ME

For some reason I have a mental image of “Survivor” with all the members of the Endless as contestants. And the group of them coming to tribal council, and Jeff pulling out the ballots one by one and saying, “Destruction…Destruction…Destruction,” and Destruction is voted off the island, which would be the untold story of why Destruction departed. And my guess is that Dream would be the next one voted off (since so many people are willing to give up their dreams.)

And people wonder where I get ideas.

Don’t even ask about my notion for “Pilates of the Caribbean.”

PAD

15 comments on “STRANGE THINGS THAT OCCUR TO ME

  1. You know, because you wrote Don’t even ask about my notion for “Pilates of the Caribbean.” some wiseass is going to ask you about it. I might as well get it out of the way for everybody else and spare your wait. So what’s your notion for “Pilates of the Caribbean”?

  2. So, Delirium would just slip by the rest and win?That seems to be the way the game works.

    Of course not. Death wins. Death always wins. Death by definition simply has to be the last one left.

    PAD

  3. PAD, don’t be daft? What if Delierium managed to convince herself she was Duncan Mcleod for Highlander?

    Or what if Death wakes up and finds out she was Dreaming?

    Tactically, the others should vote her off as the strongest player…

    Alan.

    …not that she isn’t cute, of course…

  4. I guess that’s just like me with my interpretation of Rod Serling doing Lucy in The Sky With Diamonds. Or not.

  5. BTW, If everybody else voted for destruction (poor him), who did Destruction vote for?

    And when we say ‘Endless’, does that include Daniel or someone new?

    My guess at the full order…

    1) Destruction (5 votes)

    2) Dream (3 votes; loses tiebreaker)

    3) Destiny (5 votes; the others want to make their own choices)

    4) Desire (4 votes, after 3 previous attempts to get rid of the bûggër by certain parties)

    5) Despair (2 votes, loses tiebreaker)

    6) Daniel (after the two girls gang up on him; there was no immunity this round)

    The final round (7) is between Death and Delerium, which Deliruim wins for being the more persuasive and fun…

  6. My predictions, assuming Destruction gets voted off in the first round:

    Round 2:

    Death, Dream, Desire, and Destiny vote off Despair. If they’re going to be stuck on this island for weeks, the last thing they wants is an old fat lady bumming them out.

    Being naturally bummed out over her current situation, Despair would vote for herself.

    Delirium, being Delirium, would vote for Dennis Franz.

    Round 3:

    Desire, Death, and Dream vote off Destiny. Since arriving at the island, he’s been prancing around, chanting, “I know who’s gonna wi-in, I know who’s gonna wi-in.” They’re a little tired of it. Aware of the futility of his sitatuion, Destiny follows suit.

    Delirium votes for DJ Jazzy Jeff.

    Round 4:

    Desire votes for Death, figuring Dream, the most “responsible-minded” of the remaining contestants, will soon tire of this silly game and vote himself in order to tend to important matters in his realm.

    Death and Dream vote off Desire after they realize she’s been awakening a yearning in both of them for Diet Cherry Coke which, of course, they could only satiate by getting off the island.

    Delirium votes for Delaware.

    Round 5:

    Death votes for Dream, knowing Delirium is the easier opponent.

    Dream proves Desire’s prediction true and votes himself off.

    Delirium votes for Doritos.

    Round 6:

    The eliminated Endless return and vote Death off the island, realizing if they can keep Delirium on the island, she’ll stop bringing dead birds and ziploc bags to all the family picnics.

  7. “Pilates of the Caribbean”: a gay

    romp with the Weight Watchers group

    of Dane County as they seek to lose

    weight and enjoy a cruise at the same

    time.

  8. Pilate: I find no guilt with this man/ I want no part of your plan/ He’s a good man to the very bone/ If you want, go and kill him on your own.

    Pharise Chrous: Killing is against our god’s decree/ Which is why we handed him over to thee/ You, our govenor, must hear our demands/ Kill him and keep the blood off our hands!

    Pilate: If you’ll like, I’ll set him free/ This quite appeals to me.

    Pharise Chorus: We have no king but

    Caesar/ Release instead the burglar.

  9. You guys are taking this way too far. It was a little bit he thought of, no need to hyper analyze what the endless would actually do in this situation, since this situation would not in fact happen to them.

  10. Pontius Pilates: Ok everybody, let’s do Stations of the Cross. And lunge 1, 2, fall for the first time, 3, 4, heave, 1, 2, fall for the second time…

  11. Bog off, Micheal Templeman! It’s fun to think about. And it’d be an interesting comic.

    However, I’d suggest not letting the Endless vote themselves off (with Despair in particular in mind; that and I wanna know who Destruction voted for)

  12. Pilates of the Caribbean:

    a bunch of people doing exercises on a Jamaican beach, probably hosted on ESPN2. Some with funky-lookin’ equipment, some on yoga mats.

    (Joseph Pilates, that is, and the exercise method that bears his name).

  13. Please, Peter, for the love of god, don’t EVER tell us about your idea for “Pilates of the Caribbean.”

    Unless it’s the next Apropos tale, that is. Your puns and wordplay are about the only things I don’t like in your work, but for some reason they turn out real well (to me, anyway) in the Apropos books.

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