TOP TEN REJECTED DISNEY CHARACTERS

Posted By: Glenn HaumanPosted On:

But I Digress...
May 10, 1991

As I write this, I-CON approaches, not to mention half a dozen house guests, a trip to Oakland, a plot for The Incredible Hulk, a screenplay…

In other words, in order to keep the unbroken weekly string and provide more vomitous entertainment, I turn once again to the depraved imaginations of the Intrepid But I Digress Staff (IBIDS).

This one is in honor of “Darkwing Duck,” a new animated series which premiered on the Disney Channel. I’ve only watched it once, so I haven’t formulated a final opinion. First blush was unimpressive, however. Whereas “Tailspin” was “Tales of the Gold Monkey” meets “The Jungle Book,” at least it has a catchy theme song. “Darkwing” is “Ducktales” meets “The Shadow,” and doesn’t have a catchy theme song. There’s nothing original here. Even my six year old expressed impatience, demanding, “What’s Launchpad doing in this show? He’s in Ducktales. Why isn’t there someone new?”

I had no answer. I did, however, have an IBIDS-produced column on hand. Because just think–for whatever shortcomings “Darkwing Duck” might seem to have, at least it doesn’t feature any of the…

TOP 10 REJECTED DISNEY CHARACTERS

10. Donald’s pervert cousin, Peeking Duck

9. Puke Green (with or without Dwarfs)

8. Winnie the Poof

7. Slimy the Slug

6. Goofball the Drug-pushing Dog

5. The Little Slûŧ

4. Fryer Rabbit

3. Prince Swarming

2. Chip & Dip

And the Number One rejected Disney Character…

1. Daisy Ðÿkë

Peter David, writer of stuff, invites readers to send in their visualizations of any of the above tasteless characters. We don’t guarantee we’ll run them, but at the very least– we’ll get a chuckle out of them.

46 comments on “TOP TEN REJECTED DISNEY CHARACTERS”

  3. I wonder if PAD ever reassessed either TaleSpin or Darkwing Duck. The former is my favorite Disney Afternoon cartoon, and the latter grew on me after a while.

  4. DuckTales was by far my favorite, although I kind of wonder that I might enjoy Tailspin a lot more now…Well, Darkwing Duck had supervillains…

  5. I always felt like TaleSpin was fighting against its own nature to become a slightly more adult cartoon, with a darker edge to it…the Baloo/Louie relationship struck me as something akin to the Han/Lando interaction; that of two career criminals.

    Darkwing had its ups and downs, but it wasn’t terrible. DW had a nice sort of Inspector Gadget feel to him, most of the time completely oblivious to his own shortcomings as a crimefighter.

  7. PAD.

    Hmph!

    I’d say both Darkwing Duck and Ducktales were worthy heirs to the legacy of Carl Barks,

    DW’s stories also had a lot more of Will Eisner’s Spirit than Walter B. Gibson’s Shadow.

    Of course, I also liked “Swat Kats” and “Gargoyles,” so what do I know?

  9. The Daisy Duke debate was that some people got their knickers in a twist because PAD used the word dÿkë in a joke. Some people have no sense of humor.

  10. Hey, Glenn and Peter: How about including those historical notes that were included in the But I Digress collected volume? They’re very appropriate for columns that are are somewhat dated. Whether you want to write new notes is up to Peter, but you can at least include the ones for the columns that were included in the book, of which this was one.

  11. Chris Wyatt (from the Cinescape review): “In all honestly, it took this reviewer by surprise that David, who is such an inventive, original author, agreed to write a book based on someone else’s idea of what THE HULK (the character he re-invented from almost scratch) should be… after all, didn’t he leave Marvel because he didn’t want to have to accept the HULK concepts that the new editor staff was inflicting on him?”

    Luigi Novi: Um, no, he left the book. He never left Marvel.

  12. “Of course, I also liked “Swat Kats” and “Gargoyles,” so what do I know?”

    Dude, there is no shame in liking Gargoyles. Well, except for Goliath Chronicles.

  13. With regards to the Daisy Ðÿkë controversy, I guess people didn’t quite catch the deal with “Winnie the Poof” (maybe ’cause it’s more a Briticism….).

    On a related note, check out the new Uncle Scrooge #319 (which came out just last week). It may be a bit on the pricey side for a “kiddy book”, but Don Rosa’s “The Dutchman’s Secret” makes it well worth the cost (and Rosa’s own commentary about the story is great).

  14. i wanna see the visualisation 😛 and no one pull me up on my spelling, i ain’t typing no american 😛

    gargoyles, DW, tailspin, ducktales and chip and dale rescue rangers were all good.

    love chip and dip. someone please get scribbling some pics of that

  16. Darkwing was my favorite Disney Afternoon cartoon. Somewhere in my parents photo albumn from one of my last trick or treating years… Darkwing. since I almost always had a homemade costume, it was one of the only times people knew what I was supposed to be.

  17. “When there’s trouble just call D-W?” I loved that show. “I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the cloud that rains on your hit parade!”

    Great, I haven’t thought about this show in a decade and now I’m going to be humming the theme song all day.

    And can I say that I feel especially old in that I remember reading this column back in high school and now must come to grips with the fact that the “six year old” mentioned in it is now *finishing* high school.

    Oy vey.

  18. Re: Gargoyles – There are a good number of fans for that show, so many that it they support an annual convention. I was just at it last weekend (across the street from the MSG Con). It’s a rather odd fandom – lots of raunchy 20 year olds in gothwear and the like – but very dedicated. My wife ran the second Gargoyles con back in 1998, while we were courting.

    Re: TaleSpin – I think it was a fairly adult show in many ways, with the somewhat complicated relationship between Baloo and Kit, and with the odd semi-1930s setting. FWIW, my wife and I are part of a fanfic project that continues the adventures of the characters and will eventually reach that world’s version of WWII. We’re nuts, but it’s an excuse for me to read more history.

  19. FWIW, my wife and I are part of a fanfic project that continues the adventures of the characters and will eventually reach that world’s version of WWII. We’re nuts, but it’s an excuse for me to read more history.

    Simon my friend, you never cease to amaze me…

    Joe

  20. I liked Darkwing Duck. Talespin was also pretty good. The series on Disney Afternoon that I was least fond of was probably Goof Troop. For some reason, Goofy as a suburban dad didn’t really capture my imagination that much. Though, I do kind of like Max and PJ, and the movie that spun off from the show was pretty good.

  21. Are you nutz? Darkwing Duck had the coolest theme song Disney’s ever done!

  22. My favorite Disney cartoon was Gummi Bears. I wonder if anyone else remembers that one.

  23. Peter, I named Darkwing Duck and won $500 for it. He was called Double “O” Duck during development, and then someone thought that maybe, just maybe, the Bond people might get little miffed over that. So Disney held a contest and I sent in a half a dozen names off the top of my head. Darkwing was number 4. Sometime later I received a check and about ten pages of legal documents signing off all rights to the name. I had nothing to do with the series. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an entire episode. But the money paid for several duck dinners down the road.

  24. Well, I did wonder why Peter wrote that Winnie the Poof and Daisy Ðÿkë were “tasteless” when it’s obvious from other writings that Peter isn’t homophobic. Was “tasteless” supposed to have been in quotes?

  25. heh heh – I never read this column when it was out originally (I don’t think I ever actually read an issue of CBG until ’97), but I gotta say, I do love the name ‘Winnie the Poof’!

    (as a resident of Winnipeg, the city from which Winnie got his name, I feel I must point out to those who may care that for a while there was a real debate in this city – I think five or six years ago – to rename the Assiniboine Forest [a forest inside the city limits] the ‘hundred-acre wood’. Just doing my ‘pegger duty)

  26. The amusing part of “Daisy Ðÿkë” is the existence of “Daisy Dukes,” those short butt-revealing shorts worn by the “Dukes of Hazzard” character. So the joke actually works on several levels.

    It’s interesting to me that, rather than obscessing on that homophobic business, everyone’s talking about the very good cartoons that Disney (in its shortsitedness) has discontinued. “Gargoyles” was, IMHO, the best thing Disney ever did for TV.

    And “Darkwing” was arguably the last really good original Disney cartoon for television. (After that came “Bonkers,” “Marsupilami,” “Schnookums and Meat” and other horrors.) You could argue that Darkwing wasn’t entirely original, but nothing like him was ever done in Disney mythography.

    By the way, a print ad released two years before the series had the character named “Double-O Duck.” Disney possibly ran into problems with the James Bond copyright owners, or they realized that the name was just plain stupid.

  27. I use to watch Disney toons alot. Back in the days when they were really good..

    I watched and liked Gargoyles, Darkwing Duck, Talespin,Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers, Ducktales, Goof Troop, and others I’m prob forgetting.

    I think I liked Bonkers and Timon and Pumbi was good.

    The more recent toons haven’t been too good. Well Recess was ok, but I think Doug was a MUCH better toon when it was on Nick.

    And stuff like “Kim Possible..” *sigh*

    Too bad Disney doesn’t make toons like Gargoyles or Darkwing Duck or etc anymore..

    DF2506

  28. different company, but does anyone recall animaniacs – spawned such series as pinky and the brain.

    my fav quotes:

    would you like to take a survey?

    do you like beans?

    and the number one quote:

    Hel-lo nurse!

  29. Darkwing Duck never did anything for me, either.

    As for “and the number one quote:

    Hel-lo nurse!”, it WAS used a lot, but I’ll take Slappy’s sign off in some episode where, from the water tower she grumpily exclaims “It’s over. GO AWAY!” I liked it enough I made a WAV file out of it and use it as my office computer’s Windows Shutdown sound. I’m told it takes people by surprise who decide to ‘borrow’ my machine when I’m on holidays.

  30. I think Darkwing Duck was a Disney Homage to the Dark Knight Batman. Think about it the Bat fanchise had not been killed yet by “Batman and Robin” and everybody and their mother was trying to jump on the cash cow bandwagon.

    I have been a huge fan of Disney since forever. Their animation is second to none…sidebar the Goliath Chronicles were a way to finally wrap up all remaining plot threads for the series…and Darkwing Duck remains in my top 5 disney animated series.

    That’s just my opinion I could be wrong.

    Regards:

    WSJ3

  31. I’ve never been a huge fan of Disney. I can’t watch their animated features because diabetes runs in my family and that much sugariness can be deadly.

    Gargoyles, though, amazed me. Here was an animated show that portrayed complex character relationships combined with a literary references to Shakespeare and King Arthur among others. It was intelligent and thought-provoking and managed to convey the occassionaly message (like the gun episode) without sounding preachy.

    This came from the same people who inflicted Goof Troop and Bonkers on America?

  32. “Darkwing Duck?” Sounds like something I should order with an eggroll!” intoned Professor Moliarty.

    This, and several other items of exceptional dialogue are one of the reasons I always liked D.W.

    That and Tad Stones’s tribute to several classic Marvel villains–the Liquidator (for Hydro-man, you gotta admit it’s a better name), Bushroot (may or may not have been inspired by Plantman)—and D.W.’s

    original baddies: Tuskernini, (a villain named after a great opera singer, what’s not to love?) and of course, his quintessential arch-enemy, Megavolt.

    The funniest thing about him occurred about two years into the series, when they finally told the origins of both Darkwing and Megavolt.

    M.V. makes his first appearance, and declares,

    “I AM MEGAWATT!”

    And of course, the Motley Crue cover band leader says, “Hey, that’s our name!”

    “Oh, okay, then I’m. . .uh. . . Mega. . .volt!”

    There ya go, an archvillain with a name he made up on the spot(only slightly less lame that hisoriginal concept)—the humor in the series exemplified.

    But, of course, the best reason to love D.W. is his affectionate contempt toward his suburban neighbors, the Muddlefoots.

    They were hypnotized by the vampiric creature, and watching TV, while Gosalyn (D.W.’s daughter) tried to convince her Dad of the danger.

    “They’re watching a test pattern!”

    “Good,” muses D.W. “Maybe they can pick up the plot.”

    Well, hope you enjoyed my musings, fellow PADawans. So until the Vampiric Potato strikes again*,

    I remain,

    Charlie.

    *Other D.W. fans will know what I mean.

  33. Re: Gargoyles – The presence of such an “adult” cartoon was to a large degree dumb luck. The success of Batman inspired Disney to try something along those lines, but the studio gave the show’s creator, Greg Weisman (once a staffer and writer for DC, and co-writer of Captain Atom) a lot of room to do what he wanted. Weisman, in telling about the show at the various Gargoyles cons, has talked about the amazing lack of attention that Disney’s censors paid to the show. It also didn’t hurt that Jeffrey Katzenberg was committed to getting the show on the air in the first place. And when your writing staff includes Michael Reaves and one-time Superman writer Cary Bates, you have a leg up on shows like Bonkers and Goof Troop.

    Of course, Disney hasn’t tried anything like it since, even in its movies.

    One last Gargoyles note: the first season of the show is due to be on DVD next year, with commentaries from Weisman and possibly some of the voice actors. Hopefully, this will sell well enough that more animated series from not just Disney but also Warner Bros. will follow.

  34. the thing that amazaed me about gargoyles was all the star trek actors doing the voices

    xanatos – jonathan frakes

    titana – kate mulgrew

    puck/whatshisface – brent spiner

    desdemona – marina sirtis

    probly a few others in there too, on the off occasion. i’m sure michael dorn was in there too, but its been years since i’ve seen this, at least 5 (i think i was still in college then)

  35. That was partially Marina Sirtis’ doing–she’s said she’d call up her fellow actors and say, “It’s great! You don’t need to get into costume or get your hair or makeup done–you just show up, say your lines and leave!” (Which must have been appealing to Spiner and Dorn…)

  37. And after all this talk about animation, isn’t it a shame that Mr. David hasn’t written anything for animation? Maybe with his recent personal fame – and the great performance he did on the animated Hulk DVD, far better than Stan Lee’s – he might have impressed some people at Disney, and they might ask for some script work. (His rep at being able to do great puns without necessarily getting dirty should be prized at the Mouse Factory.)

  38. << And “Darkwing” was arguably the last really good original Disney cartoon for television. (After that came “Bonkers,” “Marsupilami,” “Schnookums and Meat” and other horrors.) >>

    You should try the current show “Kim Possible.” It’s very good. And “Filmore” is growing on me.

  39. Yes, I realize this is a little late, but that’s what happens when you link to your archives, isn’t it? 🙂

    Michael Dorn did the voice for Coldstone, and his later cyborg gargoyle incarnation, Coldsteel.

    As a side note, I would kill – okay, that’s a little much, maybe just maim – to have Dorn’s voice.

  43. There is one horrible Disney Cartoon you left out, The MIghty Ducks…Super hero ducks, that play as a Hockey team.

    But a cartoon I remember liking as a kid is the WUZZLES, they were stuffed animals that were amalgams of 2 different animals from the Gummi Bear era.

    One thing that bothered me was when my local station replaces the Syndicated Disney ONE too, a 2 hour block of Disney toons that came one weekday mornings, with a block of DIC distributed cartoons. These DIC cartoons are HORRIBLE. They had a show called Super Duper Sumos…..There were 3 sumo brothers one was Japanese, one was Black/african american and the last was White. Their crime fighting tools were theit backsides….I was upset about the programming change to say the least. No matter how bad any disney toon is it trumps DIC every time.

  44. who in there right mind would make fun of any disney character. disney is freakin awesome. shame on you guys

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