BUFFY: THE REAL ADVENTURES

Posted By: Glenn HaumanPosted On:

Tom Galloway sent in the following link to an article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution regarding a principal named Jester (it just doesn’t get more Dickensian than that) who is terrifying personnel with this stated obsessions over “ridding the school of demons” and threatening to shoot people.

Although the name might encourage people to falsely conclude that this is the Joker in disguise, I think it’s pretty much proof of something that many in DeKalb county would immediately concede: DeKalb County is situated on top of a Hellmouth. Faculty and administrators are reportedly unsure of what to do about the situation. I wouldn’t be concerned. By the end of the school year, the principal will probably have been eaten. That still leaves the matter of getting rid of the Hellmouth under DeKalb, but perhaps by the end of this season we’ll see how to attend to that as well.

PAD

17 comments on “BUFFY: THE REAL ADVENTURES”

  1. To me that sounds alot like someone that is going through some rough personal times, is just making statements to try to blow off some frustration, and someone (that secretary) has just blown it all out of porportion.

    Of course, I could be wrong. Wouldn’t be the first, or last, time.

    jeff

  2. From what I know of Georgia, the Hellmouth has got to be in Cobb County. Would certainly explain a lot. 🙂

  3. I went to school in Cobb County… Yes, there is a Hellmouth, but it’s located right underneath the County Commission’s Office. It has the effect of making the commission there regress to the 1950’s at a moment’s notice. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next meeting is held as a sock hop.

    As for DeKalb, for Georgia (where I live now), it’s the Liberal area of Atlanta. Of course, that’s not saying much. But I think this guy just doesn’t care about his job anymore and has been talking out. Unfortunately, being in such a public position, you can’t do that and expect that no one is going to say anything. The principal got his job through being the football coach, which makes me wonder if he’s taken a few too many shots to the head…

  4. What Peter may have forgotten is that I went to school in DeKalb county. Druid Hills High School to be precise…..hmmmmm….Druid Hills, maybe there is some truth to the Hellmouth theory…..

    Kathleen

  5. A strange race of people, the druids. no one knows who they were, or…

    … what they were doing. But their legacy remains…

    Oh, and didn’t The Devil go down to Georgia? He was looking for a soul to steal…

    Okay, I’ll shut up now.

  6. Well, of course Dekalb County has a Hellmouth in it, PAD! How else do you explain the populace sending Cynthia McKinney back to Congress for ten years?

    And Erik — I’m a Corncob grad myself, Campbell class of ’89. Just bought a house in the Sprayed Berries district. I self-publish a comic about those heady times, and worry greatly that the Corncob commission will soon be teaching my kids about the sun revolving around the earth.

  7. Well, Kath, I did mention in my email to Peter that I knew you were from around Atlanta and so might be particularly amused by this…

    Anyway, in an update today, Principal Jester has been moved to an administrative center away from the school while his superiors investigate the complaints. Btw, this all comes from http://www.obscurestore.com, a good source of links to “silly season” style news stories, and a frequent source of material for NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me…” game show.

  9. The Devil you say? Didnt he go down to Georgia? Anyway I’m almost positive there’s a hellmouth in the vicinity of Turner Field. Got to be.

  10. I went to HS at Sprayberry myself, even though where I grew up (my mother still lives there) is now in Walton Country (boooo!). I was in Cobb for the anti-Gay resolution (shudder).

    When I saw the local news reports about the Principal, they were told that he might be transferred to another facility, not mentioning that it would probably not be another school. I thought that was funny in that I can imagine where this Principal might fit in…

    BTW Christopher, the Hellmouth only visits Turner Field in November. I also think Cynthia McKinney is blaming the Hellmouth for her recent loss. She’s blamed everyone from whites, Republicans, Leprechauns, The Mongol Horde of the 13th Century and New Coke.

  12. A student says he is going to shoot someone they kick the student out of school.

    A principle says he is going to shoot someone they are unsure of what to do and finally move him to an administrative center away from the school while his superiors investigate the complaints.

    Yeah, that’s fair.

  13. Well, I think it’d be a hoot to get a whole ton of Buffy fans converging on this guys house, carloads from all over, and then ring the bell and have a spokesperson be like “Hey, Jester, we got your distress call! We’re here to help! Show us to the Hellmouth!”

    I think it’d be worth it for the look on his face alone. 🙂

  14. Welcome to Georgia.

    Sometimes, I think there’s a Hellmouth under the entire state. Or an ant hill, I can’t remember which.

    Or it could be Hellmouth Ants.

    hmmmm…..

    Bobby

    Bobby Nash

    Writer @ Large

  15. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

    Michael, maybe it isn’t ‘fair’ but it may be realistic. How many teachers have gone berzerk and actually gone on a killing rampage in their school? How many students? Seems to me the latter appear more likely to act on their words than the staff and thus may be the ones who need more watching?

  16. “How many teachers have gone berzerk and actually gone on a killing rampage in their school?”

    None come to mind. However, this isn’t a teacher, it’s the principal. So if you’re looking for people who aren’t teachers but are involved with the school being involved, then you have to look at the biggest school massacre in U.S. history, which was perpetrated by the school board treasurer.

    “How many students?”

    Very few… and given the ratio of principals to students in school, I expect there is no statistically significant difference between a student’s likelihood to do so and a principal’s… and given that this is a man known to have weapons who has been showing signs of insanity and acting in threatening manner, he should at the very least be removed from the scene, and quite possibly arrested.

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