Seriously, dictionary? SERIOUSLY?

According to an article here, dictionaries are now listing “literally” as meaning the same thing as “figuratively” because of its common usage.

So let me understand this: There’s no point in trying to settle wagers anymore over what words mean by consulting the dictionary, because the dictionary is going to list meanings even if they’re wrong.

I’m sorry, I thought that dictionaries were supposed to be bastions of correct word usage, not simply recordings of things that people are too ignorant to use correctly.

PAD

BID Mailbag: Marvel’s Slashback program (continued)

digresssmlOriginally published March 23, 2001, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1427

Before we continue with retailer feedback regarding Marvel’s (possibly aborted) Slashback program, this just in:

Dan DeCarlo, creator–let me repeat that word, creator–of “Josie and the Pussycats,” soon to be a film for which he’ll likely get nothing, has been hospitalized with triple pneumonia. I never even heard of triple pneumonia before this.

One of Dan’s close friends opined, “I can’t help but think all the stress of the Archie business has helped weaken him.”

Hear that, Archie guys? You may have helped put an old man in the hospital, rather than give him a share of the money you’ve got coming in off his creation. Feeling proud? Feeling tough? Pat yourselves on the backs, blackball an employee of nearly half a century, and call it time well spent. Typical day at the offices of those fun providers of harmless Riverdale antics.

* * *

With the above example in this column of how a publisher has managed to endear itself to its public, let’s move on to Marvel and its ongoing love affair/dance of death with comic book retailers.

BID Mailbag: Marvel’s Slashback program

digresssmlOriginally published March 16, 2001, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1426

Well, we’ve been discussing Marvel a bit here at BID (what with this being, y’know, a newspaper about comics, so I figured I should do it on occasion just to keep my hand in). I should mention, by the way, that artist Michael Collins came up with what I think is a perfectly nifty name for the Marvel Silent Month. Ready? “Nuff Said Month.” So there it is.

I also tossed out a question to retailers, soliciting feedback over Marvel’s apparently abortive attempt to introduce what they called Marvel’s Slashback Month.

Marvel’s Silent Month

digresssmlOriginally published March 9, 2001, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1425

And no dialogue. We didn’t need dialogue. We had faces.

                                                                              –Norma Desmond

                                                                              “Sunset Boulevard”

One has to credit new editor-in-chief Joe Quesada: He’s trying. In an industry that’s gone from cyclical to cynical, the new chief is beating the drums as loudly as he can, trying to get Marvel Comics and suspicious comic book fans together. In some ways it reminds me of the school dance in the movie of “West Side Story,” where the desperate master of ceremonies, “Gladhand” (John Astin) is trying every trick he can think of to get the Jets and Sharks to mingle. In similar fashion, Marvel and the fans (not to mention the retailers) are circling each other warily, suspicious of the motives at every turn, reluctant to commit lest they suddenly discover a knife in the back.

And lord knows Quesada approaches everything with enthusiasm. It’s evocative of Stan Lee at his most “Excelsior-ish,” back in the days where Stan was so fluid that he could announce a price hike and by the time he was done, you’d be saying, “An extra nickel a book! Fantastic! A bargain at twice the price, Stan, we’re with you!” When Joey Da Q is channeling Stan Da Man, it’s almost impossible to distinguish good news from bad news. Almost.

Seriously, GOP? Seriously?

When he was voted into office, tons of people encouraged Obama to level war crime charges against Bush and Cheney.

And it would have been totally legitimate. They demonstrably lied to everyone in order to wage war.

But Obama said no. He didn’t feel that he should be prosecuting his predecessor.

So now the GOP is readying plans to impeach Obama. For issuing fewer executive orders than his predecessors.

Jesus Christ. Remember that guy in “Guardians of the Galaxy” who says, “What a bunch of a-holes?” He’s talking about the GOP.

PAD

Marvel and Retailers: the Slashback program

digresssmlOriginally published March 2, 2001, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1424

This week and next, we’re going to discuss various Marvel initiatives, ranging from sales to editorial stunts. So kick back and let’s see what’s going on at the house of ideas. This week:

MARVEL AND THE RETAILERS

Marvel’s relationship with retailers has always been prickly at best (hostile at worst.) One of my earliest recollections when I started in the Marvel sales department years ago was blithely hosting a retailer breakfast at a convention. I figured, y’know, feed them, run the Marvel slide show and talk about neat stuff coming up, and that would be that. Instead I wound up fielding one hostile question after another. I suddenly knew what it felt like to be a baby seal being clubbed. And that’s back when things were good in the marketplace.

In recent months it seemed that Marvel didn’t place much priority on endearing itself to its retailer base. One angry retailer sent me the following notice from Marvel, tucked into his Diamond mailing:

But I Digress flashback: 1971

digresssmlOriginally published February 23, 2001, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1423–Special “1971” theme issue

I think comic books just cost me a date with Debbie Moss, and that might be the last straw.

I can’t believe I’m saying that. I mean, y’know, when I first started reading comics when I was five years old, I felt like I’d found a whole bunch of friends I didn’t even know I was missing. And here I am, ten years later, and suddenly I feel like, y’know, these same fans are dragging me down.

Regular readers of this column know that this has been coming on for a while now. I mean, for one thing, y’know, I’ve been screaming about the skyrocketing prices for ages now. When I first started reading comics, they were a nice, tidy, twelve cents. One dime, two nickels. I could go into a comic book store with a buck and buy eight comics. Y’know, pretty much keep up with everything cool that was coming out.

I can’t tell you how bad it hit me the day I walked in and they’d gone up to fifteen cents. I couldn’t believe it. Is nothing sacred? Do they think teenagers are made of money? And I feel like we’ve barely recovered from that, and all of a sudden… twenty cents? Twenty cents? For a comic book? A twenty two page comic book? And now I’m even hearing rumors that they’re talking about it going up to twenty five cents!!! Twenty five cents!!!