Originally published March 22, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1479
It is not easy working in a field that is treated by many with unadulterated disdain. A field that is, in fact, often blamed for the deterioration of literary quality across the board, and believed to be bringing ruin and dámņáŧìøņ to us all.
No, surprisingly enough, I’m not talking about comic books. I am speaking instead of media-related novels.
Originally published March 15, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1478
With Al Gore pointedly re-entering the stage of American politics, we are awash in memories of the extended civics lesson this country received over a year ago. You remember: The one in which we discovered that Your Vote Doesn’t Really Count. You may have thought you were voting for our nation’s leader, but you were wrong, because votes carry little to no force of law. In the words of Doctor Peter Venkman, “It’s actually more of a guideline.”
Now we all know we’re not allowed to complain. We’re at war, after all. Not a declared war, but a war nevertheless. And at such times, we’re not supposed to make the slightest whispered mention of dissatisfaction with the way that the government leaders fighting the war took office (and I do mean “took.”)
So instead, let us focus our energies into a positive direction. A fun, uplifting direction.
You say you feel that one-man, one-vote no longer applies? You say you still have bile in your mouth? You say you want to know that your contribution means something and that casting a vote still counts? You say you want to have direct influence on the destiny of a superteam?
Well, I don’t know why’d you’d be saying that last one, but as it so happens:
YOU’RE IN LUCK!
Originally published March 8, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1477
When you’ve had a career going long enough, certain misperceptions are going to start creeping in among the audience. They’re easy enough to spot: They’re the ones I see over and over on computer boards and such. No, I’m not referring to the same old saws, tossed around by people who seem to believe they have cameras set up inside my head, the ones who say with authority that I’m anti-this or anti-that. I’m referring to either misinformation or opinions which are groundless, but stated enough times that people seem to believe there’s some foundation in truth.
So I figured I’d address some of the most prevalent ones.
Two years ago, I was lying in bed in a Florida hospital, sleeping for the most part, while the doctor was telling Kathleen that she might have to make some tough decisions if my stroke took a downward turn. At this point in time, Caroline was still being protected from the news about her father, but she was pretty much the only one who didn’t know. The internet was alive with word about my condition. Kath’s phone was ringing off the non-existent hook. Fans were buying my books like mad for financial support and the Heroes Initiative was amassing money to be sent to us.
And I was unaware of pretty much everything. I was barely conscious and of my ten day stay in the hospital, I remember perhaps sixty minutes of it. The rest is a complete blank.
Please remain vigilant for signs of a stroke. If your vision is blurring, if you suddenly start losing feeling on one side of your body, if you can’t stick your tongue out straight, get to a hospital immediately. Minutes count.
And if you’re one of the people who pitched in to help me two years ago, thank you.
PAD
Originally published March 1, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1476
A couple weeks ago, I was told one of the topics being discussed in CBG would be newspaper strips. At the time I was writing about other things and so didn’t have the time or space to get into that. But I’ve got some free time now, and so thought I’d give a quick perusal of the funny papers and talk about the stuff that’s making an impression on me these days, both good and bad.
Understand going in: I think the hardest comics-related job there is is producing a daily strip. Particularly a gag strip. I can’t even conceive of doing such a thing myself, and even those strips that I’m lukewarm on, I’m still impressed that the writers and artists are able to hit their deadlines week in, week out. I could never, ever do it. With that said…
Originally published February 22, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1475
I’ve found myself sucked into discussions over in my Usenet newsgroup (the only one in which I still participate) involving the notion that writers should just stop being so darned upset about their work showing up on the Internet.
The arrogance one encounters from people who hold such a position can truly be astounding. The sentiments, boiled down, seem to be, “Information and literature should be available to all, and writers shouldn’t be carping about losing ‘a few pennies’ in royalties.” This displays an amazing amount of contempt for writers… or maybe not so amazing.
Originally published February 15, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1474
I’d never been to a viewing.
You know: A viewing. Where the body of the recently deceased lies in a coffin while people gather, one at a time, and stare. It always seemed grotesque to me, an exercise in morbidity. Why gather in large numbers to stare at a shell? The body… the body isn’t the person. Whatever it was that made up the person, whether you believe that its purely biological neurons, personality traits hardwired into DNA, or a soul… whatever it is, it’s gone. To me it would be like appreciating a fine wine by gazing at an empty bottle. The whole notion just kind of creeped me out. It probably doesn’t help that I’m a regular viewer of HBO’s Six Feet Under where they show corpses being prepared for viewings while the ghost of the deceased chats with the morticians.
And there’s always people looking around saying, “(The deceased) would have liked that,” be it the flower arrangements or the suit chosen to be dressed in or the number of mourners showing up. Except I always think that what the deceased would really have liked is to not die, and everything else is just beside the point.
I’m sorry. I know it sounds like I’m making light of a topic that’s all too serious. I do that; I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable talking about something.
Like the death of John Buscema.
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