Just came back from seeing “Underworld,” a film that could well have (indeed, perhaps should have) been filmed in black and white. It was like watching the world’s longest “Obession by Calvin Klein” ad.

The film is a curious paradox of moving along both briskly and slowly. The story pacing is quick enough, but the problem is that the audience forms no emotional connection with the protagonists. Selene, the vampire (Kate Beckinsale) is written, directed, filmed and edited to be remote, so it’s hard to care about what happens to her. The way into the film could have been through Michael (Scott Speedman), the human who attracts Selene’s attention because he in turn is being sought by werewolves (or “Lycans”). But the movie’s told from her POV, not his, and beyond the fact that he’s an intern, we don’t know anything about him…or, at the very least, enough to make us care if he’s bitten by werewolves or vampires or the acting bug.

The way to make the film work would have been to tell the entire story from Michael’s point of view and learn about the warfare between vamps and werewolves through him. Or, if it’s to be Selene’s story, intercut between modern day and her origins, like “Highlander,” which took this basic “mysterious group of people trying to kill each other” bit and did it far better. As it is, we’re hit with a bunch of emotional reveals in the last fifteen minutes of the movie that are designed to throw our perceptions of the characters on our ears. But instead of being emotionally shocking, as the filmmakers presumably hoped, you just go, “Oh. Okay. That’s interesting.”

A sequel is built into the conclusion. Joy.

PAD

Quite a few people are asking me the order in which the latest “New Frontier” novels (which should be on the stands just about any time) should be read. They are as follows:

“Gods Above,” which is the long-awaited conclusion to “Being Human.” The bad news is, it ends on a cliffhanger. The good news is, you don’t have to wait two years for the conclusion because the continuation, “Stone And Anvil,” should be out by the time you finish reading “Being Human.”

The short story collection, “No Limits,” can be read at any time because most of the stories are set before the crew of the Excalibur came together. The one exception to that is the story I wrote which is set immediately after “Restoration.” But it’s been a couple of years, so I’m hoping you’ve gotten around to reading that one by now. Thus it isn’t a problem.

PAD

Word is that the BBC is going to be returning Doctor Who to the small screen after a ten year sabbatical. No details of the show are available.

The natural question, of course, is…who do you cast? I personally would have been happy with several of the Doctors we saw in “Curse of the Fatal Death,” including Rowan Atkinson and Hugh Grant. Doubtful, however, that either would commit.

So who would I want to see in the role? Y’ask me, only one guy for the job:

Anthony Stewart Head.

He can handle everything from comedy to action to involved exposition. It’s as if Giles has been a seven year warm-up for the role.

Bring in Julia Sawalha, who played the companion in “Fatal Death,” and you’re good to go.

Runner up to Tony Head would be Chris Barrie. But ASH is definitely the way to go.

PAD

Well, we saw the debut of the first Aaron Sorkin-less “West Wing” last night.

Although the show no longer feels like a rat-a-tat-tat dialogue 1930’s-esque film, it’s still a good drama. The continuation of the search for the President’s daughter, the growing strain on the President’s family (including the arrival of one of his never-before-seen elder daughters), and the grudging acknowledgment amongst the staff that fill-in president Walken came across in his first news conference as “presidential” (and the devastating observation that Sheen’s Bartlett seemed “so small”) made for compelling viewing.

I’ve never understood, though, the criticism over the show being “too liberal.” The series was obviously Sorkin’s idealized Democratic White House. Yes, it didn’t bear resemblance to reality. So what? “Marcus Welby” and many other medical series portrayed idealized versions of doctors that bore no resemblance to typical overworked doctors normally encountered in our day to day lives. John McClane of the “Die Hard” films is a super-cop. Rambo is a super-soldier. But, what? We draw the line at presenting a “super-Democrat commander-in-chief”–tough minded, literate, knowledgable, confident, eloquent. That’s just too over the top for people to accept, and Sorkin is lambasted for it? Sorry. Just not seeing it.

PAD

Caroline is presently in what I call the Wile E Coyote stage of child development.

You know how the coyote can run past the edge of a cliff and keep going, but doesn’t fall until he notices he’s standing in mid-air, at which point gravity takes hold?

Well, Caroline is at the same point when it comes to standing. She’ll be standing in her playpen by means of holding onto the edge and get interested in some toy. She’ll reach down and pick it up. Now she’s gripping the playpen with one hand and examining the toy in the other. At some point invariably she’ll release her grip and start playing with the toy with two hands, oblivious to the fact that she’s standing. And suddenly she’ll blink and look down, realize what she’s doing…and promptly fall.

My guess is she’ll be walking within a month, at which point–with all the books on the shelves–we’re well and truly screwed.

PAD

This from Gwen:

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The interrupting dyslexic Jew.

The interrupting dyslex–?

Yo.

Well, THAT was exciting.

Continue Reading “NEW YORK IS BOOK COUNTRY” →