Originally published January 16, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1261
Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time when we here (okay, me here) at BID issue—The Most Awards. Yes, named for no particular reason after Donny Most (Ralph on Happy Days), The Most Awards are a sort of stream-of-consciousness commentary on whatever caught my fancy or whatever I think is worth making a snide remark about that I somehow missed. May I have the envelopes, please?
Originally published January 9, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1260
And now, we present: Peter’s True Horror Stories of Publishing.
Before I became the full-time and eminently competent writer I are now, I spent time toiling in the field of book publishing. One of my varied duties in that endeavor was to deal with the public and go through the material that found its way onto what is cheerfully known as the slush pile. This is the term for unsolicited material, over-the-transom stuff that comes in, and no one knows quite what to do with it.
Originally published January 2, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1259
Give way to your imagination, and see the prehistory of man. See our ancestors in the hunt, pursuing some great beast whose remains can only be viewed now as a wired together skeleton at the Museum of Natural History.
The beast struggles, trying to flee from its oppressors. It is large and mighty, and they are small and puny. But there are many of them, and they swarm all over him. He wonders in the back of his primitive, peanut-sized brain what he could possibly have done to offend them, and perhaps he even tries to determine what he might have done to deserve this. He was minding his own business, and suddenly they were upon him, bringing him down, howling and cackling while onlookers cheered.
It is a primitive, awful spectacle, and we can only pat ourselves on the back and be cheered over how far we’ve come since then…
Originally published December 19, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1257
It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my young life.
There she was, the gorgeous woman lying in a bathtub. Standing just outside the door of the bathroom was the suave, imperturbable man with the cool-sounding accent. She didn’t seem to be shrieking in embarrassment or shouting for him to get the hëll out, as I figured that any grown woman would under the circumstances. Instead she was regarding him with, at most, a slightly scolding look.
“Could you hand me something to put on?” she inquired.
He tossed her a pair of slippers and waited for her to get out of the tub. And she did.
Originally published December 26, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1258
The place was Dragon*Con, 1995. I was one of the speakers at the Harlan Ellison Tribute. Naturally the word “tribute” was an elastic one, and the commentary being offered ranged from straight-forward sincerity to tongue-in-cheek.
Originally published December 5, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1255
Well, it’s ironic. I’d been writing articles about how people in a position of celebrity oftentimes find themselves in situations where, no matter what they do for the fans, it’s never enough. And then, lo and behold, I found myself on the receiving end of that exact same situation.
The “culprit?” None other than Xena, Warrior Princess herself: Lucy Lawless.
Originally published November 28, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1254
And now, digging into the But I Digress electronic mailbag, I’ve come upon this which was sent to me by Tom Galloway—the demented creation of one Mike Schiffer, who graciously gave permission for its reproduction in this column.
It needs absolutely no introduction.
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