Remembering to Breathe

I have been taking a Tai Chi class for a while now. It has helped balance, joints, and body awareness. One of the things I have learned is how important it is to breathe and how not breathing correctly is not great for the body over all. I haven’t been the best about breathing normally recently. I find myself breathing very shallowly or holding my breath without realizing it. I have to pause and consciously remind myself to breath normally.

Part of this I think comes form all the recent unknown that has dropped into our lives. Waiting for Doctors to tell me news both good and bad and hoping that the good will out weigh the bad. Getting almost to the next step and then being stopped by various things. Not knowing when I will be able to go home and pet my cats. Not knowing when things will return to normal and knowing that they never really will but I would like to know what the new normal is.

Caroline wants to go back to school. She wants the routine and seeing her friends and teachers. I would like to get back to the house and some of the sort of routine that I have.

Now we know when we are going home. We have plane tickets tomorrow to fly back tomorrow. She wants to go back to school on Friday.

Peter is adjusting to the routine at rehab. He likes that he is wearing clothes rather than hospital gown and that he is being allowed and encouraged to do as much for himself as he can. He knows it is the beginning but at least it is beginning rather than sitting around wondering what he is going to do next.

We slowly are picking up the pieces of our lives and figuring out how they fit together. We are remembering how to breathe.

Now We Move Forward

Yesterday morning was more exciting that I would have liked. We had to get one more Doctor clear Peter for rehab. There was then a slight hold-up on the other end of things at the rehab who were waiting for clearance from the hospital on the white cell count. Once everyone was satisfied that he was OK, we started the process of getting him from point A to point B which had a lot of hurry up and wait attached to it.

In the middle of all this I got Ariel to the train station to take the train from Orlando to Bridgeport CT. I am happy to report that she made it back to her college and made a new friend on the train as well.

Eventually we did get him to his current location. I like the rehab center and how they do things. This is probably the best fit for him and will get him back to us as soon as possible. They outlined the plan for his recovery and told us what a typical day was for him. Caroline got her questions answered as well.

But this is still the beginning of a very uncertain journey

Eventually we had to say our good-byes to Peter. Caroline didn’t take the parting well. Today she is a little off her game and a bit sad which is nothing unexpected.

Today Caroline and I drove to Atlanta and returned the rental car which was more of an adventure that I would have liked but the person at the counter was amazingly helpful and did everything she could to get the price down.

Now I get to check in daily with various people on staff and with Peter about how things are going. Today was mostly evaluation and the beginning of the game plan to return Current Peter David to pre-stroke Peter David. They did having him walking again.

I want to say again how much I appreciate all the support you have been giving us. It really helps to know that people have your back. I have read every comment, e-mail, message that has come across our e-mails and am touched by how many people have Peter in their thoughts. Y’all (I can use it, I grew up in the south) are a great group of folks and I will never be able to thank you enough.

Peter WALKED!!!!!!

That is the big news from yesterday. He stood up and with assistance he took his first steps since this whole thing started. They were few and we had to convince him to stop and sit down but he did walk. We had a good happy cry after that one.

In other good news, he spent most of his day sitting up in a chair. Baby steps but each is a jewel right now.

We are waiting for two other doctors to sign off on getting him to rehab so cross your fingers that we will be doing so. I will know some time this morning and update this post as to whether we are going or not. I am packing everything up and assuming that we are going so we can go from Orlando to Jacksonville with him and set him up in his new digs.

Ariel is taking the train from Orlando to Bridgeport today. So either way, she is starting her travels home. She needs a ride from the Bridgeport train station to her dorm room. Could the Usual Suspects that have her phone number arrange to help me get her there? Contact Ariel for the details.

After we get him settled, I am taking Caroline to Atlanta to my parents’ house from which we will depart for home. I have to return the rental car and the like. Whole bunch of new details come into play at that point but I am hoping to get her back home with her cats and familiar surroundings.

Then we wait and hope that we can get Peter back to us as soon as possible.

I will be continuing to update things on Peter’s site and on my site as I have information and the like.

We are still working on the donate button but should have something in place along with an auction to pay for the bills that we are looking at with some abject terror. But more on that later in the week when I have a moment to think things through. Right now I am still going from moment to moment solving things as best I can.

If you have gotten in touch with me and I haven’t responded, I do apologize. I will be going through my e-mail and Peter’s and get back to people in a couple of days. This goes for Facebook friending and notes and a lot of other things.

Right now my focus is on Peter and getting him where he needs to be so that he can get better and come home.

I am grateful to everyone who has helped in this situation and to everyone who cares about Peter. It means a lot to him and a lot to me.

Taking it Day By Day

A few housekeeping notes:
If your comment doesn’t go through the first time, give it a little time. We have the filters set pretty tight and we have been pretty good about checking it several times a day.

I know there are duplicate comments. I will be cleaning that up at some point but right now don’t worry about it, just go onto the next comment.

I ask that you remember that the girls and Peter are reading this site every day.

Thank you

THE PETER UPDATE:
Progress is slow and Peter is frustrated which is perfectly normal for him to be so. He is working well with the PT and OT staff. They are still working on the white cell count but it is becoming closer and closer to be declared an aberration and let’s move on.

If you think of it, we don’t know our white cell count day to day. We are having our blood drawn one or twice a day and put through a battery of tests (OK may be a few of you are but you are in the minority). So a change in the white cell count could just be how his body can react to stress and believe me, his body has been stressed recently.

So cross your fingers that we get the GO on Monday to move Peter to the next step and get him working back to his old self.

He is spending more time sitting before it gets uncomfortable. The more he is up, the better it is for his body.

Yesterday was an interesting day. We made plans to get together with our friends at Disney Hollywood Studio since Magic Kingdom is still blacked out for cast members. Caroline was meeting up with her friend EM. Ariel and I were looking forward to meeting up with G, her dad and ER, his fiancé. Yes, I am being a little squirrely about the names but G and ER both work for Disney and are cast members in the parks so I am respecting their privacy. We met G for the first time by name the night we got engaged.

Peter encouraged us to go. I left him his cell phone so he could follow along with pictures and texts and if he wanted to call us which he did a couple of time to check in.

We went to the park and tried to get fast passes to Toy Story Mania but those were gone probably within an hour of the park opening to the general public. So we went over to Star Tours and got fast passes for that. Ariel and I decided to take Caroline on the Great Movie Ride which she doesn’t remember being on. She declared that she both loved and hated it. Hated the Alien which of course dropped RIGHT over our heads but loved other parts a lot. We caught up with GEE after that.

Disney Hollywood was pretty crowded. But we managed to walk around and get some lunch at one of the fast food joint. Our fast passes were good at that point. Ariel gave her ticket up to EM so she could ride with Caroline. I took the girls on and we had a good time (For those keeping Star Tours score: Imperial Droid, Pod Race, Princess Leia, Gunga city). After that we rejoined the rest of the adults in our party.

Now I knew intellectually about “triggers” and try to be a good net citizen by warning people when I am talking about subjects that might cause them some distress. I haven’t put any here because we are talking about stroke and the effects on the patient and the family and that’s the current topic here.

I was walking with G, EM, and the girls when I noticed Ariel had that expression on her face that I remember from when she was child. Something was bothering her. So I asked G to take care of Caroline while I talk to Ariel.

It was the park and seeing Star Tours that caused her to just let loose the flood of tears I have been waiting for since this whole thing happened. I have been joking with her about her brave little toaster face but I knew that she was hurting and sad and angry all at the same time. I let her just talk and tell me her fears and frustrations with all of this. She was playing the blame game with herself with all those lovely woulda, shoulda and couldas that have become part of my regular thinking along with Peter’s. We had a long talk about that it wasn’t her fault and all the good things she had done for her father and the rest of her family since this all started. She felt better I think for letting it all out.

Caroline’s trigger was the Christmas light show they are doing on the back lot of Disney Hollywood Studios. She was watching with wonder at all the lights and the music and looking for the hidden Mickey’s in the lights. It is very impressive. She turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “I miss Daddy. He would love this.” I held her among the holiday revelers all around us as she cried it out. Ariel got the idea to tape the whole scene so we could show it to her Dad, which made Caroline feel a little better.

We rode Star Tours a couple of more times thanks to Fast Passes. Ariel thinks she is doomed to Hoth since she has seen it EVERY TIME she has been on the ride. But she did get some different secondary pieces.

I dropped the girls off where we are staying and went back to the hospital. Peter called me to check in when I had just turned off the car in the hospital parking lot. We spent some time together and watched the repeat of SNL. I told him about what had happened at the parks and that the girls were doing better. He told me about his day and I talked to the night nurse who is a real pip. She and Peter get along really well.

I came back and poured myself into bed and had one of the better night sleeps than I had been having.

Today we go back and see how Peter is doing and take it from there. One day at a time and one foot in front of the other.

I am grateful for all the support systems we have around us that are helping us with this crisis. And I am so VERY grateful to all of you for spreading the word about how to help Peter. It is working. I ask for your continued help in all this.

From Caroline’s Point of View

Peter Update:
Two steps forward and one step back. We had everything in place to move him to rehab however his white cell count was up and the hospital won’t release him unless they know why it is up.

Peter under went a battery of tests, which took a little long (OK a lot longer) because the computer system was down so most of the day was hurry up and wait.

Over all he was pretty out of it. He did his rehab and the other things that he needed to do but he dozed most of the day between people having to wake him up for the things he needed to do. He was much more alert at night and we watched some videos together.

Today we find out the results of that test and what is next. We are hoping to move him to the rehab on Monday since this gives the hospital two days to get him back to where he needs to be for rehab. Cross your fingers that his bed is still there then.

Now here is Caroline (with me typing) about what has happened

At first when I found out, I didn’t feel very well and I thought this was going to be the worst vacation ever since my Dad was in a hospital bed.

When I saw Dad in the hospital bed I was scared and upset. But Dad made me feel better. He hugged me and talked to me.

He told me that he was going to be going to a different hospital so he could start walking again. He was going to be all right but he may be gone for a month.

Later Mom and Ariel took me to Disney Hollywood Studios, I barely talked to anyone because I was worried about Dad. Ariel tried to hug and comfort me but I just pulled away.

Then we went on Star Tours. I was still really angry and worried about Dad. After the ride I felt much better. I could laugh again. But I realized I was having fun and Daddy wasn’t there. Mom told me that Dad was happy that I was having fun so we went on the ride again. After that in the gift shop I built a droid and Mom built Skippy the Jedi Droid for Dad and put a pirate hat on it for fun (Dad has to wear an eye patch).

On the 2nd Day we went to the hospital in the morning and I spent time with Daddy. I was helping him with his hand exercises. Later Mom took me to Animal Kingdom and we watched the Tigers who were very active. I felt safe with my Mom at Animal Kingdom. I felt a little better about all that had happened.

On the 3rd Day we stayed at the hospital all day and watched “Big Bang Theory” with Daddy. I felt really good that I was near Daddy all day and could see his life in a hospital. I was proud at how hard he was working to get better.

On the 4th Day I found out that he wasn’t going to rehab until Monday, which made me happy and sad. Happy because I got to see my Dad another couple of days but sad because I know he needs to go to rehab to get better and come home.

Overall I feel happy because I realized it wasn’t my fault that Daddy had a stroke but I also feel really sad because Dad had a stroke. I love him very much and I want him to be OK again. I am praying for my Daddy to be my Daddy again.

(Kath back here now. I will be reading her the comment that relate to her from this entry.)

I am grateful that Caroline can talk to us about what she is going through.

Here is how YOU can Help Peter

But first the daily Peter David Update: He was able with assistance to get up and sit in a chair where he spent most of the day. He worked with his various physical therapy and occupational therapy personnel on continuing to strengthen his arm and leg. The eye seems to be correcting itself a little but that’s going to be looked at in rehab as to what they can do besides a stylish eye-patch. He also revised an X-Factor script for his editor at Marvel, which I think made him feel good/more normal than he has been feeling.

Remember the waiting game? Well we MIGHT be moving him to his rehab facility but it is not a done deal because they don’t like some of the markers in various pieces of blood work. It may be an aberration and they are going to test him six ways from Sunday this morning to give us a go or no go on his going to rehab today. We have all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle in place except the Doctor’s OK to go.

Hard to believe that one week ago all this started.

Now HOW YOU CAN HELP

Even though we have health insurance we have co-pays and the like. And since this stroke fell at the end of the year, we have all the new co-pays to deal with (I can honestly see those of you who have had to deal with this nodding your heads). And there are things that the insurance company just won’t cover (more head nodding). So we are at the beginning of what is going to be a very expensive year even though we are only 4 days in.

The most direct way is to buy his books from Crazy 8 Press (via ComicMix) or from Amazon or Barnes and Noble websites. These are books that he gets the money from directly and the most per book.

His current Crazy 8 Press books are:

Pulling Up Stakes Part 1
Pulling Up Stakes Part 2 (Brand new)
This is one novel broken into two pieces. This is the cover blurb
Sick of vampire books? Movies? TV shows? Yeah. So are we. Sick of the entire unlife of vampires? Yeah. So is Vince Hammond. Unfortunately, Vince is in it up to his (wait for it) neck. Because Vince is a young vampire hunter who lives with his vampire hunter mother in an entire community of vampire hunters, who in turn are part of a cult of vampire hunters going back all the way to the French Revolution, which many believe to be an uprising of the poor against the rich but was actually a massive purging of vampires from the French nobility (hence the guillotine)

The Camelot Papers
A powerful ruler who’s considered by many to be simple-minded and vacuous and has serious father issues. A no-nonsense, polarizing woman who favors pants suits and pursues dubious agendas involving social needs. A remarkably magnetic leader of men with a reputation as a skirt-chaser. A scheming, manipulative adviser who is constantly trying to control public perceptions. A man seen as the next, great hope for the people, except there are disputes over his background and many contend he’s not what he appears to be.
George W? Hillary and Bill? Karl Rove? Obama?
Try Arthur Pendragon, Guinevere, Lancelot, Merlin, and Galahad.
Whatever you think of the state of today’s politics, The Camelot Papers shows you just how little matters have changed in the past thousand years or so. The Camelot Papers presents a fresh perspective on Arthurian legend by using modern day sensibility and combining it with a classic tale to bring a new insight into iconic characters.

The Hidden Earth Saga of which there are two published and the third is in the works.

Darkness of the Light (book 1 of the Hidden Earth saga)
Height of the Depths (Book 2 of the Hidden Earth saga)

These are science fiction mixed with mythological creatures and the fate of the Universe hangs in the balance. Big epic sweeping books with those great characters that Peter is famous for writing.

There are Print on Demand for all these books if you want a paper copy rather than electronic.

More HOW YOU CAN HELP

If you already have these or can’t purchase them for whatever reason, you can still help us a lot by getting word out all over the Internet about how they can help Peter. I am asking every blogger and people who have access to an audience to spread the word.

The more we sell of these books, the easier it will be for us to pay the bills as they start to pour in.

Buying his other books does help but that is very long term and isn’t much per books but it does help especially the Marvel graphic novels he has written.

I am talking to Glenn about a donate button or something but we don’t have the details worked out and I really want to get the ball rolling on getting this information out while Peter is fresh in everyone’s mind.

We do need your help to help him. He is working very hard at getting back to all that he loves to do and we are trying to ease his mind about whatever we can ease his mind about so he can do it faster.

We are now off to the Hospital to see what the verdict is about his moving today. I will update this when we know what is going on.

I am grateful to everyone who has helped or is going to help Peter.