Category: 1

Well, *that* was like running a marathon.

Just got off the phone with Bill Jemas, Joe Quesada and a dozen or so comics journalists. That Marvel holds the press conferences on Wednesday is unfortunate since that’s new comics day, so any journalist who’s also a retailer has problems attending, but hey, what can ya do?

I have no idea how it went, personally. I said everything that occurred to me, which probably meant I talked waaaay too much, but I figured the more I said, the more the journalists had to choose from in terms of picking quotes. Unless I put them to sleep.

Bill and Joe endeavored to push me into “putting up” something, some sort of public display, if CM doesn’t outsell the others. Nah. The McFarlane debate cured me of that kind of stunt. Nowadays, the more someone tries to push me into something, the more I dig in my heels and say “Unh unh.” It also broke me up that at one point Bill was dissing Marvel business practices of the 1980s while boasting of Marvel’s graphic novel success in bookstores…kind of ignoring the fact that book store penetration and Marvel’s entire graphic novel program were *from* the 1980s. Go figure.

Here’s the thing I’ll always wonder about, and which no one asked: Why is it that if a reader has problems understanding a story, it’s the writer’s fault? But if a retailer doesn’t understand Marvel’s reorder policies, then the retailer’s IQ is called into question?

PAD

Another two hundred of the Captain Marvel script samples went out this morning. By Thursday the last of them will be off. So if you haven’t gotten yours by next week (unless you’re out of the country; I’m doing those last) then either yours went astray in the mail, was eaten by the post office (several were and I only got the pitiful, tattered remains) or you forgot to include a self-addressed stamped envelope.

For those who are interested in what’s available of mine in the stores right now, last week saw the arrival of the latest “Haunted” one-shot, “Gray Matters,” and the latest “Supergirl” and “Captain Marvel.” This week you should be able to find (presuming they ship when they’re supposed to) a brand new Spyboy one-shot focusing on Bombshell, and also the Hulk graphic novel “The Last Titan,” a.k.a. simply “The End,” adapting a HULK short story of mine with gorgeous artwork by Dale Keown. Furthermore, both KNIGHT LIFE and the paperback edition of SIR APROPOS OF NOTHING are in finer bookstores everywhere.

PAD

All right, the initial mailings are on their way. I’ve signed, folded and stuffed into envelopes about 200 of the Captain Marvel scripts, and they’re in the postal system. More will be done each day and go out until we got every one of the suckers shipped away.

I’ve been impressed by so many things in going through the mailings. There’s the letters with heartfelt appreciation for the book. There’s the letters from people who take pains to point out every single thing I’ve ever written that they hated, and they’ll probably hate this too, but it’s free. There’s the folks for whom the phrase “Self addressed stamped envelope” was too much to process, and they just sent a letter requesting a script with no means of mailing it back to them. Then there’s the letters mangled beyond recognition by the post office, enclosed in little plastic seals with the words, “Sorry for the inconvenience” stmaped on the outside.

Plus there’s the exciting discovery that the return letters are JUST on the right side of being overweight. Thank God I got the script down to four pages. Even so, if another post office’s scales disagrees with the Bayport scales, people are gonna be getting these things postage due. But there’s nothing I can do about it now.

And just to make things in my life even more exciting, I’ve been asked to be a part of the Marvel Press conference this Wednesday. I’m supposed to be in on a phone conference with the fan press and explain why people should buy “Captain Marvel.” I dunno; I kind of suck trying to sell my own work. I can find all the sales reasons to buy *other* people’s titles, but never mine.

Anyone who’s got any good ideas as to what to say when asked, “Why should people buy this book?” aside from “Because it’s really good,” I’m more than happy to hear them.

PAD

Things are kind of hectic as Gwen graduates high school today, my sister and her family are coming over, and the house looks like a bomb hit it, so we’re in the midst of getting the joint cleaned up.

However I thought I’d mention that the Captain Marvel scripts are all printed up, signed, and I’m in the process of folding them and stuffing the envelopes. My GOD is it slow going. But thanks to the US post office, the deadline of the end of the month has made getting them out an absolute financial imperative. I start bringing them to the Post Office as of Monday, and all of them will be out within the week.

PAD

We’re doing some minor surgery around here over the next few days, tweaking a few things to try and improve the readability of the site, etc. One of the most obvious is the comments section, which now reads oldest to newest instead of vice versa. We know about the error messages/HTML that shows up when you post comments; we’re working on fixing it.

And hopefully, we’ll begin posting the BID archives before the Fourth of July.

Actually, in trying to anticipate horrible things Israel might do in retaliation as the bombings continue unabated (despite pleas from some Palestinian organizations to knock it the hëll off), I’ve come up with something even worse than the notion of rounding up ten random Palestinians for every dead Israeli. One that doesn’t have the widespread carnage of the Chicago Way, but is even more lethal in its own manner. I call it “The Unforgiven Way.”

At one point in the film, Clint Eastwood warns citizens in a town who might take a shot at him, “Any of you sons of bìŧçhëš takes a shot at me, I’ll kill you…and your wife, and all your children and family, and burn your dámņëd house down.” It’s overkill (no pun intended) but he’s making his point quite well: Screw with him and your loved ones will suffer the consequences.

At the moment, families of suicide bombers are supposedly four-square behind their loved ones blowing themselves to bits. But suppose, just suppose, Ariel Sharon made the following declaration:

“Any bomber who blows himself up with the intention of killing Israelis…once we’ve identified his remains, we will kill his or her spouse…and children…and parents, and grandparents, and cousins and whatever extended family we can find. So be aware that in killing yourself, you’re killing everyone whom you’ve ever loved and who ever loved you.”

Just imagine the consequences. Just imagine the families, with their own lives suddenly on the line, turning in their more radical offspring in order to save their own necks.

Do I want to see innocent Palestinians die? No, of course not. Nor do I want to see innocent Israelis die, considering I have a number of relatives who are innocent Israelis. But sooner or later, someone in Israel is going to start thinking outside the box. The results will not be pretty.

PAD

Here’s a little challenge.

The sequel to “Knight Life” is tentatively titled “Dead of Knight.” It takes place some years after “Knight Life,” focusing on the presidency of King Arthur, how the threat of terrorists impacts upon it, and–just to keep it real–a search for the Holy Grail and a head-to-head conflict with an individual even more ancient than Arthur.

Now…my noble editor, Ginjer Buchanan, isn’t blown away by the title. She says it sounds like a vampire novel. So…any suggestions? Ideally with the word “Knight” in it?

PAD