Category: 1

“Give the perfect holiday gift,” intones the announcer in the commercial I just saw. And what might that be, you ask? The DVD of “Eclipse.”

Because nothing quite says peace on Earth like bloodsucking, undead monsters.

PAD

I was living in Lefrak City, a crappy apartment complex in Queens. I was married to someone else. I was not yet a father. I was working in book publishing, working in sales, and the notion of making a full time living as a writer had not yet entered my mind.

I had the radio on and I heard that John Lennon had been shot. I was sure that he would be okay. It couldn’t end that way. Not at the hands of some random lunatic. Several hours later, I found out I was wrong.

PAD

I’ve been hired by Del Rey to produce the novelization for “Transformers 3,” which is listed on IMDB as “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” I can’t provide any plot details about it since I’ve signed enough non-disclosure and confidentiality agreements to join the NSA, so don’t bother asking. But that’s what I’m working on at the moment.

PAD

In the movie of “The Fugitive,” Doctor Richard Kimble isn’t very bright about changing his appearance. Initially he has a full beard, heavily gray, with dark hair. He looks like a million other guys. So what does he do? To “disguise” himself, he shaves off the beard and lightens his hair color. That’s stupid. Now he looks like Harrison Ford. He’s just made his pursuers’ job that much easier. Before that,they had to say, “Be on the lookout for a guy with a gray beard and dark hair.” But now they can say, “Be on the lookout for a guy who’s a dead ringer for Harrison Ford.”

Did he WANT to be caught?

PAD

It has snowed on Caroline’s birthday every year. Yet yesterday the skies were clear and blue save for a few clouds, and weather predictions put any chance of precipitation at, at most, ten percent. Same prediction for today as well.

And Caroline, who apparently wanted to keep her streak intact, said, “I want it to snow. I want it to snow. Snow. I want snow.” She said it over and over and over again. I’d tell her to stop because it was getting on my nerves, and she would be quiet for a time, and then later she would start the snow chant again.

And during the day, thicker and thicker clouds came rolling in, and the sky went from blue to slate gray.

By 10 PM it was snowing.

As of this morning we’re having flurries.

Be afraid.

PAD

During an absolutely horrific snow storm, Caroline was born.

It seems like yesterday she was a tiny thing the size of my forearm, sleeping on my chest.

Now she’s a young lady.

It might be noted that two days earlier, Jennifer Grey had a daughter. Last Tuesday the two of them were playing together at the Disney store. And today is Walt Disney’s birthday. There’s something significant there, but I’m not sure what it is.

In any event, happy birthday to my littlest girl (who, in a few months, will probably be taller than me.)

PAD

I’m not sure what kind of mind says, “Let’s do an hour-long parody of a twenty-year old short lived cult series that the majority of the 18-to-34 audience for our series never saw.” But apparently that’s who’s running “Psych,” and God bless ’em.

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