Open Letter to Eddie Murphy

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

Dear Eddie: (Can I call you Eddie?)

I think it’s no secret that the best thirty seconds in “Tower Heist” are when you and Gabourey Sidibe are endeavoring to crack the safe. The comic chemistry between the two of you was simply masterful. I was suggesting on my Facebook page that the two of you should find a vehicle to work together and a fellow named Richard Kallao suggested an update of “The Odd Couple.”

This, to me, is a brilliant idea.

Not only that, but you could update the concept for the 21st Century.

Sidibe would be the “Oscar” character (you could even call her “Olive” as a call-back to the all female “Odd Couple” of some years back) . You would be the fussy Felix. She’s divorced from her husband. You’re newly separated from YOUR husband. Yes, I know there’s the knock of it being cliche that a guy being neat and tidy = gay, but the hëll with it. It’s 2011; embrace the subtext.

The poker buddies could be a who’s who of comic actors. I mean, with all deference to the brilliant Neil Simon, you could pretty much toss out the script for the poker games, set up the cameras, start playing poker for real while ragging on each other, and you’d have comedy gold.

And of course your dates in the second act, the Pigeon brothers, could be played by the Wayans Brothers. Or, if you really want it to go off the rails, Olive met this guy at work and he says he has a brother, so she sets up a double date. And the brothers are played by Wayne Brady and Neil Patrick Harris, who play brothers on “How I Met Your Mother.”

I’d see that movie. I think everyone would. I think it could be one of the top grossing comedies of all time.

PAD

38 comments on “Open Letter to Eddie Murphy”

  1. I read this and liked it on its own merits, but I was also reminded, slightly, of “The Female Odd Couple.” As you may know, Neil Simon redid his play so that, instead of Felix and Oscar, you had Felicia and Olivia. (In the original production, they were played by Sally Struthers and Rita Moreno.) This was in the mid-80s, and, to show gender roles hadn’t quite changed yet, in this version, the Oscar character was regarded as the freak. A neat woman was regarded as normal, but a woman as a slob was not consider so. Also, instead of poker, the women played “Trivial Pursuit.”

    Never saw this version myself, but I’ve always wanted to see it.

  3. I haven’t seen Eddie Murphy in anything recently, but certainly the Eddie Murphy of years past could pull this idea off. If he could do so currently as well, this could be a LOT of fun…

      1. I have NO idea what the heck you meant by that. None whatsoever. That went so far over my head, I won’t have to dust the ceiling for months.
        .
        J.

      2. Katt Williams’ second concert video, American Hustle, started off with a bit where Katt was having to talk to two Hollywood executives, whose “exciting” and “new” ideas for movies all revolved around redoing other movies – only more so (like their riff on 300, called “Three” – starring Katt and two other guys, holding off the Persian army).
        .
        One of the movies they pitched was a cop movie – only, since Eddie Murphy had had such “success” with Meet the Klumps, their idea was that Katt would play all the characters, including two cops in fat suits.

      3. Yeah, you lost me on that one, too. I don’t see that as making him a fan of anything other than Eddie Murphy films where he doesn’t play multiple roles.
        .
        PAD

  6. Peter, I know that you’re busy with tons of other stuff but maybe you should be writing the script. Why let someone else make money on your (admittedly borrowed) idea?

    1. Because it would be a waste of time, Jeff. I’m not going to write a spec script for something where I don’t have the underlying rights. Besides, if it did get made, they’d want a script by an A-list writer. This isn’t about me trying to get a gig. This is just me as a movie-goer who would like to see something happen.
      .
      I mean, if Murphy came to me and asked me to write it, hëll yeah, sure. But that simply won’t happen. It just won’t. I’m not being self-effacing or modest; I’m just saying Hollywood doesn’t work that way.
      .
      PAD

  7. Off-topic, but I’ve no idea where else to send this question:

    PAD, earlier in the year, I inquired about Fasttrack, one of the new aliens on Ben 10. You were awesome and went out of your way to dig up information for fans of the show everywhere.

    I really hate to bother you with Ben 10 trivia again, but do you know what the story is with the Ghostfreak that appeared in “Ultimate Sacrifice”? Last I checked, turning into Ghostfreak was a certified BAD IDEA (the last two times, Ben got taken over completely and went evil). Is it a new version, and if so, what happened to the old one? And if it IS the old one, how the heck are they keeping him in line and in the protective skin?

    It’s driving a lot of the fans absolutely nuts, and we sadly can’t ask Dwayne anymore.

  8. So this has nothing to do with this particular post, but I don’t know where else to turn. I’m trying to send unsolicited fan mail to Peter David about his work in general, and in particular his work with DC, but I can’t find a snail mail address OR an email addy to send it to. All I get is this forum.

    Does anyone know how to send some love Mr. David’s way? Or should I send praises of his DC work to the X-Factor office?

    Thanks!
    Eric

      1. That reminds me, PAD. When you were discussing the work into preparing “Writing For Comics With Peter David,” you had some very… interesting experiences with DC management (excepting Paul Levitz). Have things changed since then?
        .
        (Hope that was diplomatic enough)
        .
        J.

  9. Quick question… was Eddie’s performance in the movie (besides said scene) any good at all?
    .
    The last movie which I thought he was funny in was Bowfinger.
    .
    TAC

    2. I thought BOWFINGER was terrific too — a nice spoof of Hollywood, big-budget stars, low-budget movies, Scientologists, and one of the few times I’ve really enjoyed Heather Graham (especially her deliberately terrible foreign accent!).

  10. So let’s say that in 24 months your proposed movie opens with exactly everything you suggested in place.

    Would you have a claim to royalties for the proposal?

    If so, would this preclude this movie being made just because of your suggestions being on the internet or would the producers have to get a release from you or come to some sort of advance agreement with you?

    I am not trying to say you are poisoning the well. I am just curious as to how Hollywood and copyright law works.

    And I do think your suggestions have real potential. Are you listening Eddie?

    1. .
      If that’s the way it worked, then Hollywood would never have made 90% of the films that have been made, Lee. Even back in the pre-internet days, regular Joes and professional critics through suggestions around on the printed page of magazines, fanzines and newspapers for years.
      .
      We started getting some of the monster mashup films because someone (or a lot of someones) discussed how cool it would be if the Wolf Man and Dracula went at it or wondered who would win if Dracula and the Frankenstein Monster starred in a film together. Hëll, both Aliens VS Predators and Freddy VS Jason first came about in the form of a lot of fans discussing their fantasy match ups.
      .
      You can’t copyright that vague of an idea. You certainly can’t successfully sue a studio for doing something that you made a vague suggestion about. If Peter thinks the two of them have chemistry, then you can bet at least a few people in Hollywood all on their own and unrelated to Peter think so as well. At least a few of them might think that it would be a good idea to pair them up in a film together. It’s a very basic, generic concept. No grounds for legal actions.
      .
      Now, if Eddie plays a man who is actually a timber-wolf who was bitten by a werewolf and Gabourey Sidibe plays the woman who falls for him…

      1. .
        And sometimes, regular Joes and professional critics actually threw suggestions around on the printed page of magazines, fanzines and newspapers. Although, if it was a particularly heavy idea, they may have thrown it through the magazine, fanzine or newspaper in question.

      2. I think that’s a good cue for our host to recount just how the “Transformers Vs. G. I. Joe” comic came to be… or, perhaps, what led to Magneto ripping out Wolverine’s skeleton.
        .
        J.

    2. I would have zero claim to royalties or any sort of remuneration. I don’t own the underlying material. I don’t represent any of the actors or the playwright. I put the idea out into a public venue. I literally would not have a legal leg to stand on. I wouldn’t attempt any manner of legal action, and if I did, no lawyer would take it. And if I tried to pursue it myself, it wouldn’t survive a preliminary motion for dismissal, at which point they’d stick me with court costs.
      .
      This isn’t about a movie I’d like to make money off of. This is about a movie I’d like to see.
      .
      PAD

  11. The point I was trying to make was, our host has a dámņëd good notion of what ideas he can and can not expect compensation for — and often does it anyway. He brought back the kid’s idea for G.I. Joe vs. Transformers, handed it off, and Marvel made a TON of money off it. He suggested Magneto rip out Wolverine’s skeleton, and Marvel got tons of mileage out of it. He named Wolfsbane for Chris Claremont. And I don’t believe he ever saw a penny from any of those contributions.
    .
    So when he says he tossed out this idea with the full understanding that he has no delusions that he would ever make a penny from it, but just wanted it out there, I take his word for it. Especially since I have a slightly-above-average knowledge of copyright laws, and as far as I know, he’s dead on.
    .
    Thanks for another cool idea, PAD.
    .
    J.

  12. Well, it looks like Murphy has some free time now that he won’t be hosting the Oscars.

    1. .
      Oh, when will this horrible bigotry against obnoxious bikers on bikes that are way too loud ever end? It costs us so much as a society as it is, but now it has cost us Eddie Murphy hosting the Oscars!

      2. I think that’s an absolutely brilliant idea.
        .
        First of all, there’s the prospect of the cutaways to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony, bìŧçhìņg away. Then of course there would be the priceless moment when Kermit announces, “And now, here to explain the voting process for the Academy awards: the Swedish Chef.” Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem could play the nominated songs.
        .
        Plus, of course, a familiar Grouch would endeavor to usurp the hosting duties. “Why’s the frog hosting? Not only am I also green, but which one of us is NAMED Oscar!?”
        .
        PAD

      4. Oh, god… the possibilities are nigh-endless.
        .
        Miss Piggy being extremely irate for NOT being nominated for “Best Actress.”
        .
        Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Crazy Harry presenting the Best Visual Effects award.
        .
        The giant hook to yank off oververbose winners.
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        Best Foreign Film by Lew Zealand and his boomerang fish.
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        Cutaways to Kermit and Scooter backstage.
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        Gonzo… well, being Gonzo.
        .
        I think I dearly love this notion.
        .
        J.

      5. Has anything in the history of history been made worse by the addition of Muppets? This is brilliant!
        .
        Fozzie’s opening monologue alone makes this an absolute necessity.

      7. Got room for one more ? No offense to Billy Crystal, he’s a nice guy (and funny to), but he’s already done it five times. It time for the green, lean, hosting machine ! (I’m telling you…the audience would go hopping crazy, dudes and dames !)

  13. YES!! I would absolutely LOVE to see this! And now that the new Muppet movie is coming out and it actually looks like a return to the classic, funny Muppets, this would be the perfect timing.

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