Raise the Fanatic

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

A guy named Bill Warren (presumably no relation to the comics legend) is endeavoring to recover bin Laden’s body.

So what do you think? Ebay?

PAD

28 comments on “Raise the Fanatic”

  2. Well good luck to him with that. It sounds like a publicity stunt. The Arabian Sea is a pretty big place and Bin Laden’s been there for weeks, so he’s fish food by now, And Warren’s stated goal of “to see if my president was really telling the truth and if bin Laden is truly dead on the bottom of the ocean.” is pointless, Not finding him will prove nothing.

    1. Yeah, anybody who thinks Bin Laden’s corpse is still out there to find doesn’t know how destructive to foreign objects salt water brine is.

  3. I say good luck.

    I haven’t kept up on the whole affair since the initial news bonanza died down, but I don’t think the Navy gave any actual coordinates for when they dumped him into the drink. I can only assume the Navy Brass had enough brains to know SOME lamenut would try to find his body and so would put him over the side while they were at least above a depth of water that would make conventional diving impossible.

    And then, it’s been a month. I kind of doubt at this point there would be much left to find after the fish have had this long to make a buffet out of his body.

  4. Steve, I think the spot will be easy to find. It will be the place with the US battleship parked over it and a sign saying, ‘Don’t even think about it!’

    2. No, it’ll be the spot where all the ships go to discharge their waste tanks…

  5. Publicity stunt, plain and simple. Assuming the military didn’t tell Bill Warren exactly where in the sea they dumped the body (“I want to fish up bin Laden’s body” “Sure! Here are the coordinates where we dumped it”), the sheer area of the sea would make it nigh-impossible to know where to start looking. (And that’s not factoring in the depth of the ocean.) Plus, the corpse has literally been fish food for weeks, not to mention human decomposition in the sea.

    If Warren really is trying to make this about “proving” that Obama told the truth about killing bin Laden (which has been acknowledged to be true by everyone from Obama’s political opponents to Al Qaeda), then it’s just another conspiracy theory where a lack of proof is considered proof. (“I couldn’t find a body that was dumped at an undisclosed location somewhere in an ocean. That *proves* he wasn’t killed!”)

  6. What do I think? Honestly? He’s a fool at best and quite possibly an idiot. If–big if–he succeeds then he’s going to further tick off a whole lot of people that already hate the U.S.

    1. I think you got yourself the new birther craze, growing. 60 years from now, books in private schools (and those issued to home schoolers) all over America under the rule of Empress Sarah of the Palin, third of her name, will teach how an evil nigerian muslim managed to become president and help his friend Osama escape thanks to an elaborate ruse that required too many people to actually work. Then they lived together in their secret island of commie-muslim-gay love. And no one can prove that’s wrong so it must be true.

      2. It’s like the Ed Wood line. “You say, Prove that it’s true? I say…prove that it isn’t!”
        .
        PAD

  8. The whole thing reminds me of the Saturday Night Live sketch where someone bought Lenin’s body and tried to make a profit renting it out.

  9. In response, I ask that “Potato Moon” be resurrected and completed, which is to say — Raise the Fanfic!

      1. Yes, that’s what I thought too, until I learned that the bodies of some 104 passengers of the Rio-Paris Air France flight that crashed in the Atlantic some two years ago were recovered last week. There might be something left, after all.

      2. Bone fragments at best. Salt water driven by oceanic forces is powerful stuff… not to mention all the things that live in it.

  11. Something tells me the Navy should have had Dexter take care of Osama…

    1. “HI DEXTER!” “Whatcha doin’?”
      .
      “DeeDee you idiot! Can’t you see I am scouring the sea bottom for signs of buried treasure?”
      .
      “Ooooo! What’s that?”
      .
      “That? It is a wrapped up body with a smell to kill fish for miles around. Maybe I should investigate…”
      .
      “Ooo Dexter! What does THIS button do?”
      .
      “No DeeDee! Not the disintegrating laser!”

      Something like that…? 🙂

      1. Wrong Dexter :). Actually while in a silly mood a few weeks back I started thinking of funny mash-ups and “Dexter’s Labratory” was one of them. The adventures of a pint-sized genius serial killer who only kills other killers. Co-staring his foul-mothed sister DebDeb.

  12. This Warren nutcase seems to have learned all he knows of the deep sea from watching “The Little Mermaid”; he expects Bin Laden to be singing “Under the Sea” with a crab and a clownfish.

  13. Also not the science-fiction artist (probably best known for his work for ANALOG magazine). I’ve got a wonderful print of a painting of the space pod from the movie 2001 that he did about 20 years ago.

  14. Ooooo, what’d be cool is if he went down looking for Osama, and came back up with Jimmy Hoffa. Or Amelia Earhart. Or Jean Grey. ‘Cause all are equally likely.

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