Originally published June 16, 1995, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1126
I’m taking a break from the Space Cases journal to comment on some recent happenings in our little industry—and deal with some other items that have come to my attention. Hey, kids: Let’s see how many people I can really get annoyed in the course of one column.
For those who haven’t had enough proof that Marvel’s interest in the direct market is diminished, there was the recent firing of direct-sales PR reps Gary Guzzo, Tammy Brown, and their assistants.
If, purely for the sake of argument, we take it to be a given that Marvel is in the process of disassembling its direct market department completely, then it’s logical to get rid of the direct market PR reps. If you don’t need the direct market, why would you need people to communicate Marvel’s PR position?
Meantime, in a burst of me-tooism, DC (with Marvel pinning the squirming direct market to the floor and ordering it to hold still) drove yet another stake into the dámņëd thing with its self-distribution-via-Diamond deal.
One wonders: If Marvel jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would DC jump too? And how much would you pay to find out?
* * *
Available now in finer book and magazine stores near you: Gauntlet #9. No, it’s not a comic. It’s a semi-annual magazine dedicated to covering (and protecting) the First Amendment. Very likely of interest to Friends of Ellison is Richard Cusick’s epic article covering the tangled history of the vendetta by (as the cover puts it) “Gary Groth, Napoleonic Nerd” and associates against Harlan Ellison. No accusations of pre-disposition or bias can be leveled here: Cusick’s agenda is non-existent and his research exhaustive.
Just about everyone, including yours truly, was interviewed in its preparation. At one point I get in such a lather (embarrassing in retrospect) over Comics Journal‘s journalism that I come across like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman shouting, “I’m just getting warmed up!”
Cusick’s conclusions are not particularly favorable towards The Journal in general and Groth in particular. The consensus by those who have read it is that Groth was “Grothed” (i.e., torn apart) by the article. (I’d say “Out-Grothed,” since Cusick manages to stick to the subject, whereas Groth’s tirades are reduced in effectiveness by their scattershot tendencies.)
It’s recommended reading of what can and should be considered the last word on the subject. (Although I have no doubt that, even now, Groth is preparing a lengthy response which he will demand be printed in its mind-numbing entirety.)
If you’re looking for it on newsstand, it should be easy to spot: The cover has a naked woman with a Hitler moustache and one breast.
God, I love this country.
* * *
I don’t say this is being done. I have no reason to believe it’s being done. It’s probably not being done. But, if I were the head of a major comic book distributor, and I had signed an exclusive distributorship with one major publisher and the other major publisher had cut all the distributors out of the loop and my major competitor was reeling, I’d be going around to other publishers saying the following:
“Look, babe, writing’s on the wall. Major Competitor’s days are numbered. Retailers are going to have enough problems dealing with two distributors; you really think they’re going to want to deal with three? They’re gonna switch over to me. Smaller distributors are going to fold or get out completely, as will many retailers, and there’s going to be major cash flow problems.
“Come aboard with me now, you’ll be my best friend, and I’ll give you a great deal. If you continue to deal with Major Competitor, sooner or later Major Competitor’s going to go out of business, very likely owing you money. At which point you’ll be in the hole financially and you’ll have to come aboard with me anyway—except you’ll be a less-than-best friend, and maybe the deal won’t be so great. Your choice.”
As I said, I haven’t heard anything to this effect. It’s just something that came to my ever-plotting mind.
Interesting scenario, though, huh? Almost as interesting as speculating on the notion of a sizeable self-distributing publisher purchasing a large-but-shrinking distributor to acquire all those warehouse and distribution facilities.
My spider-sense is tingling; I think the shoe tree may be shaking again some time soon.
* * *
Comics have been getting a lot of “fictional” play lately, with mixed and curious results. I count three: One cynical, one funny, and one just plain weird.
1) On the television series Thunder Alley, Ed Asner’s fairly obnoxious grandson is obsessed with a fairly obnoxious hero called “Buzzard Boy.” The kid’s mom tries to divert the boy’s interest by introducing him to a Captain Planet-like, ecologically oriented, politically correct hero, but the boy will have none of it. Instead, he drags grandpa to a costumed appearance of Buzzard Boy at a local store.
There we get a cynical treatment of comic book heroes-as-cash cows. Buzzard Boy’s philosophies, his credo, his very existence were designed for the sole reason of supporting toys, licensing, and every cheesy marketing ploy or tie-in imaginable. I was so infuriated that I threw my entire plate of Chef Boyardee X-Men Pasta at the screen.
2) On Mad About You, Helen Hunt’s character becomes the most feared individual in fandom. A new comic book—the debut of which is so anticipated that everyone (butcher, baker, candlestick maker) knows about it—is written and drawn by her ex-husband. The gag is that he’s exaggerated their failed marriage to super-heroic proportions for story content and designed the villainess, Talon, to look just like his ex-wife.
It’s a cute notion. Only problem is that Helen Hunt isn’t the most distinctive looking of actresses. It’s not like she’s, for instance, Joanna Lumley in Absolutely Fabulous. Or even Roseanne, for that matter. The drawing could just as easily have been of Helen Slater or Bonnie Hunt as Helen Hunt. So I didn’t buy into the idea that people would take one look at her and shrink back saying, “It’s Talon! Run!”
And they should have given her breasts like casaba melons, if they really wanted to be like current comic books.
Still, as noted, a cute notion. And there was a funny, if badly animated, cartoon sequence at the end. Besides, this industry should be so lucky that a new comic book engenders the kind of excitement that the one in Mad About You did.
3) Y’know, I’ve been hanging around computer boards for a while now, and seen all sorts of discussions about all manner of things. But I’ve never, in all that time, noticed people arguing over whether the visual interpretation of the Silver Surfer by Jack Kirby is preferable to that of Moebius. Maybe it came up and I didn’t notice it, but it’s sure not the discussion of the hour.
But it takes center stage for a scene or so in the submarine-based thriller Crimson Tide, as executive officer Denzel Washington breaks up a fist fight between two crewmen. The topic of dispute? Whose rendition of the Surfer rules: Moebius’ or Kirby’s. In so doing, Washington chides one of the crewmen for wasting time on such foolishness and then adds, “Anyone who reads comic books knows that the Kirby Silver Surfer is the one true Silver Surfer.”
There was no word, by the way, as to whether the crewman who supported Moebius also thought that Jerry Lewis was a comic genius.
Quentin Tarantino did some dialogue here and there for the film, and this exchange has his fingerprints all over it. I’d venture to say I was the only person in the theater who got it, but, hey, comics need all the exposure they can get. And it was a really nice tribute to the talent of Jack Kirby.
Even if the whole thing was kind of weird, because anyone who reads comic books knows that, in fact, the John Buscema Silver Surfer buries them all.
* * *
You say you’re already looking ahead to the winter months and you’re concerned that your Batmobile won’t start up because of cold weather? You say you don’t want to risk sitting conked out at a curbside somewhere while crime runs rampant?
Have no fear, because the nice folks at Kenner have come up with exactly what you need to keep your Batmobile’s radiator and gas lines clear. Yes, it’s:
Yes, that’s right, Anti-Freeze Batman.
Coming soon: Brake Fluid Batman, Motor Oil Batman, and Window Wiper Fluid Batman.
Another fine product from Kenner.
Now if they’d just come out with Harley Quinn and Batgirl toys instead of umpty-ump variations on Batman.
(Peter David, writer of stuff, can be written to at Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705. Hey, Quentin… when do we get to the definitive-version-discussion of the Hulk, huh?)
• 
I remember renting Crimson Tide and being gobsmacked by that scene. “Did that just happen? Also, *why* did that just happen?”
About that episode of Mad About You, I noticed a few things that made no sense to someone with just a passing knowledge of the comic book world. A) No way a comic book would be so advertised in the United States as this fictional one was. In France, you can go into the subway and find ads for graphic novels, but I never heard of something similar in the United States.
B) A comic book store that advertise only one brand of comics? No way! And besides, the brand so advertised by posters all around was Malibu’s Ultraverse line. Now, I realize that Malibu probably sponsored that episode (which is certainly the reason why Roseanne’s kids were only reading DC Comics, for example), but the comics stores I’ve been into, in France or the UK, have posters featuring heroes from different companies.
And C) A comic book so popular that everybody recognize the model for the protagonist on sight? Never going to happen.
I prefer the Ron Lim Surfer.
.
I look back on this entire distributor debacle and have to wonder if the industry would be in a healthier place right now if we hadn’t seen it take the one-two punch of the speculator boom and bust and then this right on top of that. Two huge hits to the industry surrounded by a flurry of small jabs all over the place.
.
Not a good decade for the industry when you look back on it with 20/20 hindsight.
RE Crimson Tide: I always liked that bit. Didn’t much care for the rest of the movie, but I liked that little scene. And though I didn’t know Tarantino had anything to do with the script, that totally sounds like something he would write, out-of-place-ness and all.
.
RE Anti-Freeze Batman and the lack of Harly & Batgirl: Arguably the most despised marketing policies of all the action figure companies are 1) their refusal to make female characters because they’re convinced that “boys don’t want to play with girl toys,” and 2) the endless, pointless variations and repaints and “[insert gimmick] armor” versions of the main character with goofy, oversized action features and weapons. Kenner was apparently the first company to come up with that particular strategy, and Mattel has picked it up and run with it for all it’s worth (check out the “Batman: Brave and the Bold” toyline). Makes me sad.
I’ve heard that the reason that companies don’t want to do female characters is that they fear that boys will play with them, all right, but not in the way they are intended to (meaning in a naughty way). Still, I find it curious that nobody has ever done a Wonder Woman action figure line. So many posible characters, it seems like such a waste.
No, my understanding is that they avoid female characters because they think there’s no interest in girls by their target audience.
.
PAD
Apparently the infinite variants of Batman do sell to their target audience, however annoying adult collectors find them. Kenner/Mattel wouldn’t have kept up the strategy for so long if it was losing them money. However, they did eventually make Harley and Batgirl figures, and there are now plenty of action figure lines aimed at adult collectors (look at the secondary characters who got produced for the JLU line, for example–who would have thought twenty years ago that we’d ever get an Amanda Waller figure?). What was annoying at the time was that these were the only toys of these characters available, but there are a lot more options now.
As a matter of fact, it’s not that the endless variants sell well to kids that keeps the practice going. It’s that they sell well to mass-market retailers, who feel that they MUST keep the shelves stocked, even if they’re stocked with bad toys. The toy retailing process is a lot like the comicbook solicitation process, in that the toy company produces a list of figures they’re coming out with in the next months, the retailers look over the list and buy a bunch of figures, and then they put them on the shelves to sell.
.
However, there are two major difference between the comics buying process and the toy retail industry. First, comic shops try not to buy books they can’t sell, because most shops are small businesses, and that money comes out of pocket. For a mass retailer, however, if the toys don’t sell, whatever, they make money on other merchandise, and they either discount the crap figures until they slowly disappear (which can take YEARS in some cases, hence the term “peg-warmers”) or they sell the overstock to discount outlets like Big Lots and dollar stores.
.
Second, comics don’t come bundle-packed like figures. A comic shop doesn’t say “I want 100 X-Men titles” and the distributor gives them a random selection of comics. They order specific issues of specific titles. Mass retail toys, on the other hand, get blind-packed in boxes of 6-20, and the retailer doesn’t get to pick and choose the good ones. They just say, “I want a box of Batman figures” and the manufacturer sends them whatever assortment they decide. That assortment frequently ends up being a 12-pack with 6 repaints, 3 re-releases, 2 new characters, and a rare chase figure.
.
Meanwhile, the manufacturer doesn’t actually count the number of units sold to actual consumers, but rather the number of units sold to the stores, and that’s how they make their marketing decisions for the next wave or toyline. Retailers bought a lot of these figures? Well, that’s what we keep making, whether the consumers are really consuming or not.
.
The other factor is that repaints and variant armors are MUCH cheaper to make, because they’re usually recasts of older molds. Ice Armor Batman can be recast in green and be Kryptonite Armor Batman, or recast in red and be Fire Strike Batman. But making Catwoman? That requires a whole new mold. And how many times can you reuse it?
.
I will agree that the expansion of the collectors market in the last decade has been a HUGE boon to the industry and to consumers. There are a TON of options compared to the days of, say, Batman Returns. Still, one need only walk into a local Wal-Mart and see how many Iron Man 2 Mk.V Armor figures are just sitting there, over a year later, with nary a Black Widow or Whiplash to be seen, to realize how out-of-touch the toy retail process still is.
One of the best things about THE BIG BANG THEORY is their use of actual comic books (and toys) and fairly accurate depiction of the comic book fans, from the homemade costumes to the discussions/arguments about characters, to the (fairly accurate) portrayal of the comic book store as a, well, sausage-fest.
It also wins for my absolutely favorite line from Penny, as the girlfriend who knows nothing about her boyfriend’s comics:
LEONARD: Do you know who’s going to be there? Stan Lee!
PENNY: That’s great! [pause] Stanley who?
It’s come a long way from making up characters like “Super-Dude” and “Amazing Gal” for them to talk about.
Now if they’d just play actual board and card games…
Or more accurately there use of DC comics, toys and clothing….
There was that one episode were they had the Stan Lee autographed Hulk’s gloves.
When did they have the homemade costumes? When I watched the show I only remember the leads wearing store bought costumes. I suppose the time they dressed up as the JLA there were a couple other teams in homemade costumes, but most of the episode was spent in store bought muscle costumes, which just seemed odd; I would expect a costume contest like that to go to a team with homemade costumes/the fact that they didn’t have homemade costumes or there weren’t good homemade costumes at the contest felt off.
There was an episode where they were invited to a costume party, and they were shown sewing their costumes together. At first they all made costumes of the Flash. When one of them asked “What do we do now?!?” another responded “We could all stand in a line to make it look like we’re running really fast!”
Oddly enough, it’s the only episode I’ve ever seen of the show.
I don’t know if the costumes are homemade or store-bought (though the latter would explain why Raj has an Aquaman costume when he believes that “Aquaman sucks!”), but in the JLA episode I assumed they won the costume contest because: 1) Penny was a hot woman (and an actual woman, something scarce at the comic store) dressed as Wonder Woman, and 2) Penny’s boyfriend was a tall and muscular Superman, as opposed to a scrawny nerd with padded muscles.
BTW, here’s a clip of the great Flash scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MUY3hLC8JQ
I owned Anti-Freeze Batman.