Super Bowl LIII live commercial Blog

6;30: Holy crap. It started off with Endgame. It’s just downhill from here.

6:39: Spike seltzer. Alcoholic water. Just what the world needs.
M&Ms. Cute.
I’ve really gotta start watching Handmaid’s Tale.
Bumble? What the hëll is Bumble? Guys, at least TELL us what it is you’re selling. The name means nothing.

6:47: Long way to go for Hyundai.
A Turkish airways commercial directed by RIDLEY SCOTT? Jesus. Have the “Aliens” film sequels failed that badly that that’s what he has to do for a living?

So far, nothing especially memorable. No “Oh my God that was brilliant” moment. Then again, we’re only twenty minutes in.

6:52: Okay, funny Olay commercial. Most commercials that spoof horror films are entertaining.
A Doritos commercial with a rap star. Cute.
Not toxic pet dishes? You mean previous bowls were toxic? Jesus. Nothing is safe anymore.

6:56: Short Captain Marvel trailer. Not bad.
A whole commercial about corn syrup? I can feel my blood sugar spiking just watching it. If I drank beer, I’d totally be getting the one that doesn’t have corn syrup in it.

7:03: Hobbs and Shaw. They should have teamed Hobbs up with Calvin.
An ad for another app with another rapper. I feel so old, that I don’t know who any of these guys are.

7:12: Sorry, guys. If I’m at a restaurant and they say “Is Pepsi Okay?” I get water. Coke or nothing.
Home security. Okay. Got ADT so I’m covered.
I feel like this is an ad about a guy who died. Oh! Okay, he almost did. Well done, Audi.

7:17: Bud Light meets Game of Thrones. Best beer commercial possibly ever.
World’s Best. Sounds like a sequel to World’s Finest.

7:24: Okay, THAT was a hilarious Pringles ad. We get insight into Alexa’s lack of inner life. Brilliant. I could write a whole short story with that.
Google translate sucks. Caroline says so and I believe her.

7:33: Wow. I really DO wish I could control the world like that. I’m not gonna buy an Audi but that I could really empathize with.
T-Mobile and Taco Bell? Really? Because those two companies have so much in common.

7:37: Am I the only person who has no idea who Toni Harris is?
A Planters commercial with both A-Rod and Charlie Sheen? Very well done,Planters. I still don’t like peanuts, but a clever commercial.

7:42: God, I loved the cruise we went on for our honeymoon. It was Disney but still.
Holy cow, I heard they were remounting Twilight Zone, but that looked way cooler than I expected. Ðámņ, I hate that Harlan is gone. He would’ve been perfect for that.

7:47: Screw Turbotax. They could make a whole film out of Robochild.
Best cameos of the evening so far in the Stella Artios commercial.

7:57: Holy šhìŧ. A violinist missing an arm? Okay, I’m interested.
You know, I already have auto insurance, but if I were going to change, I’d definitely check out Cure just because of that ad.
SkullShaver.com? Until the end I thought it was an ad for Saturday Night Live.

8:05: I have NO idea what that commercial with all the football players was for, but it was certainly entertaining.

8:09: Someday they’ve gotta have Weird Al as the halftime performer.

8:22:Is there NO famous rock song that can’t be used in commercials? I mean, jeez.
Ah. As I said, I have ADT. They’ve been pretty good, actually.
Looks like Jim Beam was an Amish with the whole building thing.
Jeez, can’t I just work out on a treadmill and watch TV while I’m doing it?

8:32: Good Christ, this Kia commercial is the most depressing car ad I’ve ever seen.
Who the hëll is Michael Bubly?

8:42: No, I’m not with you, and I’m really getting sick of the T-Mobile commercials.
You know, that Ultra commercial would have been way better if it had starred Robot Man from Doom Patrol.

8:48: Jeez, Verizon, first responders are great and all, but please make the printing bigger in the commercials. I couldn’t read a dámņëd thing.

8:54: I didn’t recognize any of those codes. That was a really helpful ad for Google.

9:04: “Hanna” looks interesting.
Screw Goosebumps. I’m still interested in that one-armed violinist.

9:10: Not a bad little CBS ad, although I’m curious how many people didn’t recognize the things from the 60s and 70s.
MAKE THE ÐÃMNÊÐ PRINTING BIGGER! Jesus!
Scientology? Seriously?

9:18: Very nice Microsoft ad. Video games are for everyone, apparently.
Okay, we get it, Bud Light doesn’t use corn syrup. Enough already.

9:33: Harrison Ford in an Amazon commercial? Good lord, what is this country coming to?

9:41: Very clever, Michelob. When someone whispers you automatically listen very closely to them. Nicely done.

9:53: Christ, I’m really starting to hate T-Mobile.
Wait, wasn’t the woman with an eyepatch in a movie recently?