Everyone knows the third film of a trilogy is always the weakest. They even made a meta-observation about it in “X-Men: Apocalypse” after the characters emerged from seeing “Return of the Jedi.”
Trust Wolverine, the trouble maker, to get it exactly reversed.
So it was a busy week for the future ex-President. Let’s see what he was up to:
1) He finally made a correct decision: Trump decided to pass on the White House correspondents dinner. Thank freaking God. I don’t know which would have been worse: watching him sitting there trying to take jokes made about him in stride, or attempting to make jokes himself. First of all, all the best joke writers are Jewish, gays, Democrats or all three, and I very much doubt any of them would take the gig. And second, Donald Trump has the comedy timing of the Interrupting Cow. Indeed, considering the incessant anti-press attitude of pretty much his entire administration, one almost wonders if they should even bother having it over the next four years. Zach Braff, as it turns out, has put forward the ideal compromise: have Alec Baldwin host AS Trump. With the SNL staff as part of this, it could be the best press dinner in ages. Certainly it would be up there with Luther, Obama’s anger translator.
We tend to travel all over the map, but typically it’s in connection with conventions. So last month we decided to keep driving south after Farpoint Convention in Maryland and wound up in Florida. We spent a week in Orlando, staying in a cabin at Fort Wilderness and then moving on to Disney’s Caribbean Beach where our room was done up like a pirate ship. We also spent a day at Universal so that I was able to see the new Harry Potter section, and I also visited the Hulk ride at Islands of Adventure where my name was posted up on a list of officers who were connected with the gamma ride: a list that included J. Buscema, J. Romita and S. Lee. I was a lowly Corporal, but hey, it’s an honor just to be remembered. I traveled the lengths of the Magic Kingdom and Disney Hollywood, and Kath and Caroline later ran around Epcot while I just hung out and collapsed at our room. We also had dinner at my favorite pizza place, Giordanos, with several of our Disney friends (including one guy who was there the evening I proposed to Kath at the late, lamented Adventurers Club.) It was overall a great time and if I ever retire, I’ll probably move down to Orlando and get a job at the park.
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PAD
A slow but nevertheless interesting week in Trump land:
1) Swedish Fish–Did you hear about the horrible things that happened in Sweden? Yeah, neither did we. But according to Trump. something catastrophic had happened in the fairly benign country that had everyone in a tizzy. Which nobody was until Trump claimed they were, and they then indeed were immensely confused, wondering what in God’s name he was talking about. Apparently he had heard, or more correctly misheard, some comment on Fox and that caused him to fabricate yet another non-existent terrorist attack. And speaking of Fox…
2) How far off the reservation has he gone?–Fox mainstays Shephard Smith and Chris Wallace apparently have had enough. Both of them went off on Trump, deploring both his incessant lies and his constant dumping on the press. Seriously? FOX is attacking Trump? That’s like Breitbart launching a five part positive story on the wonders of the UJA. Considering how Fox consistently supported him in the past, one has to be simply stunned at this turnaround.
3) Depends what you mean by “Very Few”–In his incessant endeavors to gut Obamacare, Trump declared at the Conservative Political Action Conference that the health plans covers “very few people.” So to a billionaire, twenty million people is “very few.” I suppose that makes sense. It would have to cover a billion people to penetrate his bubble.
Did he do anything right? His appointment of General Herbert McMaster as the new National Security Adviser was well received. Of course, it’s entirely damage control since Flynn was dumped in record setting time, and Trump’s next choice passed on the assignment. What’s interesting is that McMaster has a tendency to question authority, which likely won’t go over well in a White House where such behavior is not tolerated or instead rewarded with firings. So this could be interesting.
PAD
Let’s start off on an amusing note:
1) I play him on TV: As much as Trump might be complaining how poorly he is being portrayed on TV sketches, apparently it was enough to fool the newspaper El Nacional in the Dominican Republic. In running an article about Israeli settlements, they illustrated it with a picture labeled “Donald Trump,” except it was in fact Alec Baldwin in his SNL makeup. The newspaper subsequently apologized, but really, I’d take Baldwin over Trump as president any day. I’m looking forward to seeing an article on Putin with a shirtless Beck Bennett accompanying it.
2) Putting the “dìçk” in dictator: Brand new senior policy advisor Stephen Miller made the following pronouncement on a Sunday morning news show: “The end result of this, though, is that our opponents, the media, and the whole world will soon see, as we begin to take further actions, that the powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial, and will not be questioned.” So apparently the Trumpany is moving beyond the notion that challenging the president is unpatriotic or dangerous. Instead now it is simply to not happen. Judges, the media, American citizens, are all to keep their mouths shut because if the president says or does something, that’s the end of the story. His authority is beyond scrutiny, which of course is the case for any tyrant.
3) State of Denial: Governor Jerry Brown requested $162 million in federal funds to help California with a series of disasters, including an evacuation of a potentially flooding dam. The government’s response? No, of course. According to a government source, ““The President has no incentive in helping the state of California.” Naturally, because Sacramento is a sanctuary city for illegal immigrants, and there was talk about seceding from the union, and, oh right, they supported Hillary. Now one would think that being president and vowing to uphold the constitution would be incentive enough, but not in the world of Donald Trump, apparently. What matters is who voted for him and who slavishly swears to uphold every aspect of his declarations. You’re sympathetic to illegal aliens? Congratulations, you’re on your own. There’s talk about leaving the country? Fine; we’ll provide you all the incentive you need by showing you the government isn’t the least bit interested in helping you at your time of need. Good move.
4) Out Like Flynn: Before Sally Yates correctly decided not to try and defend Trump’s Muslim ban, no doubt intuiting that every court would strike it down, she also warned the President about Michael Flynn and his involvement with the Russians. Trump ignored that as well and now of course Flynn had to resign because he was busy committing…oh, what’s the word?…treason some months back. Of course, the hilarious thing is that if this had been Hillary and it had been her National Security Advisor who had been illegally speaking with foreign nationals, the Senate would be hastening to launch a full blown investigation to determine what Hillary knew and when, and would never accept “I didn’t know about it” for an answer. But Trump? No investigation. No nothing. The hypocrisy of the right is truly reaching new heights. The fact of the matter is that if Richard Nixon were in office now and had done all the things he did, the right would make sure there was no impeachment. Meanwhile, as another commentator pointed out, remember when the House wanted to impeach Bill Clinton for lying about one thing? One thing?
5) Press ganged: In a surprising decision that I’m sure Trump’s people actively tried to dissuade him from making, Trump scheduled a press conference. It was pretty much exactly what one would have expected: Trump spending long minutes snapping at the reporters, telling them that they were liars and insulting, which he conveyed to them with lies and insults. I swear, Nixon didn’t have this adversarial relationship with the press, and they drove him out of office. Trump’s pattern is clear: berate and question the legitimacy of anyone who poses a threat to his notions of absolute power. That’s why judges are termed “so-called” and the press is dismissed as “fake news.” And the truth is that if anyone knows about fake news, it is Donald Trump, the single largest dispenser of fake news in modern history. His lies are incessant and his calumnies come so rapidly that there have been occasions where he has contradicted himself, not only in the same press conference, but in the same answer.
Did he do anything right? Well, he met with several world leaders and didn’t get us into any wars, so that was a plus. But even the meetings were marred with weirdness. His dinner meeting with the Prime Minister of Japan was interrupted by news that North Korea had fired a missile. Did they immediately retire to a secure location so they could discuss proper responses in the privacy one would expect in such a situation? Of course not: they discussed it in the middle of a crowded restaurant at Trump’s resort while people recorded it with their cell phones. This is the guy who condemned Hillary Clinton for alleged security breaches? His meeting with Bibi Netanyahu didn’t go much better, where he spent time boasting about his electoral win that was allegedly the biggest since Reagan (it wasn’t) and taking no position on a one vs. two-state solution to the Israeli/Palestinian crisis beyond saying that it was up to the individuals. Which I suppose it is, but it might have been nice to pick a side on behalf of, well, everyone.
Bottom line, any week where he hasn’t launched the nukes is a good one. Because that’s how low we’ve placed the bar.
PAD
Yup, it’s that time of year again. Caroline is selling Girl Scout cookies for her troop, and this is your chance to buy some for yourself, your friends, your kids, and your enemies so you can make them your friends.
So go to her website and buy them now, right here!
PAD
Updated 2/13/17–I’ve gotten several comments in other social media venues snarking on the notion that I’m helping my daughter sell her GS cookies. People seem to be nostalgic for the days when girls would go door to door, taking orders and hauling the boxes around. Despite what you may have seen in “Despicable Me,” the fact is that the Girl Scouts organization actively discourages the Scouts from doing so, especially if it’s people they don’t know. Everyone is concerned that some lunatic is going to answer their door with a gun or perhaps drag the shrieking child into their house to do God knows what to them. So they prefer to either have them set up tables in groups at various public locations, such as grocery stores, or have them get their cookies sold on line. So that’s why I’m pitching in. I’d appreciate anyone else who can likewise help out supporting her troop. Thanks.
So let’s see what Trump and the Trumpany (Trump’s Company) were up to this week.
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