Kid Talk

Originally published November 13, 1992, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #991

Well, thus far the response on the turn-of-the-century comics poll has been nothing short of phenomenal. The folks at the Bayport post office have to use a crowbar to jam all the mail into the box.

And I have been intrigued by the responses we’re getting. The most fascinating by far is the overwhelming consensus we’re getting on the identity of the likely Anti-Christ. I will admit that Bill Clinton has been putting on an impressive write-in campaign but, thus far, the vast majority of respondents are pointing the finger directly at…

Nah. Why spoil the suspense?

Several people, however, have expressed curiosity about the possibility of this column being written by Shana David, daughter of writer of stuff. A couple have actually asked to hear from my eldest child. And so I, always looking for an easy out, hereby turns this installment of BID over to eleven-year-old Shana David, award-winning writer and now columnist (and Don and Maggie have promised not to edit her column for spelling and grammar, so you get a true feel of her ability):

I’ve heard tell of your suggestion of me writing a column on what it’s like being Peter David’s daughter. Where the heck did you get the idea that I could write a decent story?! Jeez! Well anyway, here I am Shana David, the eldest daughter of Peter David the writer of stuff. Well that’s a nice long title.  Maybe I’ll use that as a stage name.

Off that subject. It’s pretty fun having Peter David as my dad. My friends have fathers with a job that gets them home at around 6. The fathers leave at about 7, so my friends barely ever see their dads. I see my dad almost all the time that I’m home, and believe it or not, I don’t get sick of him. I have a strong bond with my dad, that’s special to me.

My dad is always home for field trips, and instead of sitting up front with all the other parents talking about cookware, he stays back with us kids. We all tell jokes and ghost stories. Sometimes I think he’s even more popular than me. Sometimes he would tell us about upcoming movies, for instance, my class knew about Hook and who would star in it, months before anyone else!

He makes me pretty darn popular, giving out comics on Halloween instead of candy, his slogan being, “I’d rather rot kids’ minds than their teeth”. So, therefore, everyone in town knows where I live. He certainly throws wild parties. At my graduation, he rented a popcorn wagon, like at the circus! Also we had a Karioke machine, basketball hoop, picnic tables, barbecue, and comic books as party favors! Wow, that’s a mouthful.

I must admit I do owe a lot to him. He gives me tips on writing, and is supportive of my love of acting. He takes me to Broadway Plays, and discusses them with me. For instance, when I was younger, he took me to Jerome Robbins Broadway, instead of a New Kids on the Block concert (A.K.A. New Geeks on the Block). When going to the city, we take trips to the Drama Bookshop. Yay!

Our house is loaded with comics and books. Look in our basement and you’ll find large trunks full to the brim with comics. Look in my room, and you’ll not only find a mess of clothes, makeup, and old moldy homework, but walls of artwork, boxes of comics, and shelves of Sci Fi and fiction novels. Look in my family’s linen closet, and you’ll find, well, linen.

It’s fun to have my friends come up to me with a copy of Spider-Man 2099 or of X-Factor, asking me to get my dad to sign it. It’s weird to know that people stand on long, and I’m telling you LONG lines to get my dad to write his name. Just the other day I was approached by my friend Donald. He told me that when in 3rd grade, he found out that my Dad wrote comics, he thought it was cool. He never paid much attention to who wrote it, but after he found out about my Dad, he did. Donald told me that he now knows so much more about my Dad now. He said that he would just like to sit with my Dad and talk to him for an hour about, well… anything. I never realized until then how lucky I was, to have Peter David as my Dad, and that I can sit and talk to him almost anytime I want. It seems strange that my boring old Dad could be that popular.

One of the best parts of being “the writer’s kid” is free rides in Limousines! Going to store appearances with my Dad is cool. The store owners give me Egg Creams, and the cashiers give me gum. Everyone has to be nice to me, and give me what ever I want. It’s the best!

Being a writers daughter, you grow up with different things, for instance, my sisters and I grew up with the phrase “Daddy’s on a deadline” which could be interpreted as “Don’t bother your father or he’ll mash you into the floor.” I also grew up in a different environment. I always had much more of an experience with books than other children. For instance, I am currently reading The Phantom of the Opera By Gaston Leroux. My father introduced me to good literature earlier than other kids. I was over The Baby-Sitters Club stage, before all my friends. I also learned from him to hate abridged books. Why? I dunno. Ask him.

I don’t always read my Dad’s books (the answer to the number one question to ask Peter David’s daughter). I’ve read Imzadi, Q In Law, A Rock and a Hard Place, his 1st photon book, and his Portuguese copy of The Swamp Thing ( which I didn’t understand in the least). I was always taught to develop my own tastes in reading. I can say, Imzadi tied him for 2nd place with Stephen King. I think no one beats Edgar Allen Poe. Even you, Dad.

Believe it or not, my Dad can actually be normal. Not for long, but that’s not the point. He helps me with my homework, like a normal parent. Really! And he, ummm, talks on the phone a lot. Call him. You’ll see!

He makes me do all that parent stuff, like eating my veggies, and doing my homework, and practicing my bass clarinet, and all that junk. I also sometimes have to do strange tasks, like get my Dad’s 5 Catwoman figures out of the trunk, or rearrange the PVC figures.

My Dad can be strange at times, like the day at Atlanta Fantasy Fair, when he bought a 5 foot tall painting of Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. It hangs over the TV set. I’m not kidding!

It can be strange at times, living in a house with 2 phone lines and a Fax line. Some people look me up in the phone book, and they have no idea what number to call! My dad thinks it’s normal.

It’s really fun when my Dad takes me to conventions. I get to go to the guest banquets sometimes, and that’s fun. I like hanging out with my Dad at conventions, and sometimes I go to his panels. They’re really fun to watch!

One of the great things my Dad does, is that he lets me read the book before it’s in print, for instance I read Q In Law in manuscript copy. With Imzadi, I was still reading the manuscript copy when it came out in print. I than switched to the book, so I didn’t have to keep catching papers as they blew away.

That’s about all I can say of what it’s like living with my Dad. Also, thanks to everyone who said I should be writing my dad’s column. I’ll see what I can do about it. All I can say, is that he’s a fairly normal dad. NOT!

(Shana David, eldest daughter of Peter David, the writer of stuff, can beat her Dad at basketball any day!)

***

And now, for your dancing and dining pleasure, I give you Milton Teruel, who wrote:

“Enclosed find a sketch (by me) of the `New’ Superman (as I see it.) With DC looking to `re-re-vamp’ the character in order to make him more popular, this seems the way to go. I even `Image-ified’ him, by squiggle-line and cross hatching him to death. Can you provide the `Writer’s Guidelines’ (grin)?”

Milton’s sketch appears elsewhere on this page. And remember, folks: If Superman winds up looking anything like this after he comes back from the (snicker) dead, then by gosh, you saw it here first.

(Peter David, writer of stuff, will be doing a couple of honest-to-gosh appearances on Saturday, Nov. 14. From 1-2 p.m. he’ll be at Flashpoint Comics, in Port Jefferson, N.Y. and then from 3 to 5 p.m. he’ll be at Basset Book Shop on Sunrise Highway in Bohemia, N.Y. And if Shana thinks she can beat him at basketball, she’s living in a dream world.)