PAD here: I’m pretty sure that Keith DeCandido now holds the land speed record, turning in his entry a mere two hours and three minutes after getting the call.
Jakob and Edwood dashed angstily toward the Forks, Washington nuclear power plant, the scene of the battle royale (without cheese) between the time-displaced Governor Michael Dukakis and Yukon Gold, the Potato(e) King.
Jakob knew in his heart of hearts—which is a really bizarre, and indeed slightly gross metaphor, all things considered—that no matter what he did, even if he was the one to save the day using his maddeningly inconsistent shapechanging powers to save the day, that Bela would still go running back to Edwood. Why, oh, why, oh, did he ever leave Ohio and come to this place where his heart would be broken like a piece of wood after a karate student hit it with the side of her hand? Why did he long after Bela with a longing as deep as the deepness was long? Besides, he was betrothed to the confusingly aged Woeisme, and Bela was obviously never going to leave Edwood no matter how pretentious he got, so why did Jakob keep coming back to her?
Was it because he always wanted what he could not have? Was it due to his incredibly disturbing potato obsession? Or was he just a schmuck?
Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 29 by Keith “Rah-Rah” DeCandido”
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