So a papar…a papparr…one of those idiot photographers keeps trying to take photographs of Woody Harrelson and his daughter, coming home through an airport, after Harrelson tells him to back off. The idiot photographer than chases Harrelson into the parking lot, whereupon Harrelson–fed up–comes after the guy and smashes his camera as the guy…who pursued Harrelson after being warned off, mind you…yells that Harrelson is chasing HIM. He bleated that Harrelson has “anger management issues” because he has a history of lashing out at obnoxious photographers. No. Photographers have Woody Harrelson management issues. If they could just manage not to get in his face taking photographs, he wouldn’t be smashing their cameras.
But that’s not the best part.
The best part is that Harrelson, in a statement, declared that because he’d just wrapped a film called “Zombieland” in which he was being pursued by the animated dead, he therefore had zombies on the brain and “understandably” mistook the photographer for a zombie.
That is hilarious. That is bloody brilliant. Celeb stalkers characterized as the undead seeking brains. I think celebrities, every time they have photographers bearing down on them, should start screaming, “Run! They want to eat our brains!” Why not? The publications they service rot your brains well enough.
Trust Woody Harrelson to produce an actual statement that would have made a perfect headline for “The Onion.” Read it in full here:
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