Year: 2005

The last issue…for the moment. Whad’ja think?

PAD

Sometimes you have a night where the pins are just falling right.

In my bowling league tonight, I shot a 267, a 270, and a 265. This gave me an 802 series. My average is 168, so the 270 also got me a wristwatch for shooting 100 over my average. The 802 gets my name put up on the wall, plus I get a ring for that.

On my third game I carried a perfect game into the top of the 10th frame, then made a bad shot that cost me a 300. Which was annoying, but having just had Passover, the song “Diyanu” came to mind. It’s a song about all the things God did for the Jews in getting them out of Egypt, and every chorus ends with “Diyanu,” which means if he’d done this much and no more, that would have been enough. So I didn’t shoot a 300. An 802, a ring, a watch, and congrats from everyone else in the league. Diyanu. It’s enough.

PAD

Remember how ages ago, I mentioned that whenever a discussion about free speech gets going, “some idiot” sooner or later misquotes O.W. Holmes and says that free speech doesn’t mean you can yell “fire” in a crowded theater? When the fact is that you CAN yell “fire” in a crowded theater…provided there’s a fire. What Holmes said you cannot do is falsely shout “fire” in a crowded theater and cause a panic. And furthermore, Holmes’ comment was attached to a decision that had nothing to do with theaters, crowds, fires or panic. It instead supported a horrific lower court abuse of free speech rights, when a socialist named Schenck was jailed for years and heavily fined simply for advocating the notion that the draft was wrong. You remember the draft: It’s that thing they eventually abolished and now when politicians try to make each other look bad, they claim the other guys are talking about bringing it back.

The Holmes-quoted decision not only jailed Schenck, but dozens of other Americans over the following years because it advocated a fundamental concept: Disagreeing with the US government in times of war was a jailable offense.

You’d think people would learn. And yet there, on the “Daily Show” last night, was Zell Miller, discussing freedom of speech and misquoting Holmes, as if misquoting was a good thing. As if a court decision suppressing disagreement with the government was a good thing.

Thank heavens I was not in the audience of the “Daily Show” last night. Because I just KNOW I would have shouted out, “Holmes didn’t say that, you nitwit!” Which probably would have gotten me thrown out of the theater, but hey, it’s better than falsely shouting “fire.”

PAD

We’re turning off comments in order to do some obviously necessary maintenance. Bear with us… we’ll have them back on as soon as we can.

UPDATE: We’re back, and even found some old comments that never went live before. Post away.

Clinton, Dubya and Gore are in a tragic plane crash and the next thing they know, they’re standing before God, seated upon a blindingly radiant throne. God says to Gore, “Al…what do you believe?”

Al Gore says, “Well, I believe that I really did win that election. But for whatever reason, you decided that I was not destined to serve you in that capacity, and I have since made peace with it.”

God says, “Very well, Al. You may sit to my left. Bill…what do you believe?”

Bill Clinton says, “I believe I did a lot of good, made a lot of enemies, and I was undermined by my own weakness that I should have been able to rise above. I wish to find forgiveness in my heart for those who sinned against me, and would hope that they likewise could find it in them to forgive me my trespasses.”

God says, “Very well, Bill. You may sit to my right. George…what do you believe?”

And George W. Bush says, “I believe you’re sitting in my chair.”

PAD

I’ll be really surprised if this entry posts, but…

Basically, Glenn spent hours fixing all the wrong files, and then sometime during the night, the entire site reset itself to the wrong settings again. Kind of like a sick body rejecting a healthy transplanted organ so it can stay sick.

He’s working on it.

PAD

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy purists may well despise the new film, but I don’t see how there can be such a thing as a HGG purist. Purist to what? The original BBC radio show? The books? The record? The TV series? Each different, each with story variations, each with its pluses and minus.

The pluses of the new film, which Kath and I saw this morning, is the look of it. Armed with sumptuous designs and the full might of Disney and the Henson Creature shop, HGG the movie has a budget and look to it that the makers of the TV series can only salivate over enviously.

The dialogue is kind of hit and miss, but it might seem that way to me because I’m familiar with the previous incarnations, and it’s difficult for me to step back and view it with an undiscerning eye. To me, the sequences that are most evocative of the source material are the Arthur/Slartibartfast scenes. Why? Two British actors. I understand that casting Brits wasn’t necessary save in the case of Arthur, but the moment you bring in Americans, the cadences are going to shift and the Adams dialogue isn’t going to work. So you have to rework the dialogue to match the Americans, and things can get a little schizo.

Which isn’t to say the film’s not well cast. It is. Martin Freeman is satisfyingly bewildered as Arthur, Zooey Deschanel–looking uncannily like a young Karen Allen–is lovable as Trillian, and Sam Rockwell’s Zaphod is a cross between prime Burt Reynolds and Elvis, guaranteeing a plethroa of Beeblebrox costumes at summer cons. The one problem is Mos Def as Ford Prefect. It’s not entirely his fault. Ford is the least formed, least interesting character in the story, serving mostly to be a guide and a foil. If you already know all the stuff Ford is going to explain, then that leaves him pretty dull. Which means you need a strong actor to instill the role with some of his own life and personality to beef things up. Mos Def, from my POV, brings nothing to the party. If they wanted to cast Ford with a black actor, fine. Craig Charles. Lenny Henry. Hëll, even Chris Tucker, Someone with strong comedic sensibilities which, if Mos Def has them, aren’t on display.

And in the absolutely perfect department are Alan Rickman providing the voice of Marvin the Paranoid Android (admit it: The moment you found out about the casting, you could HEAR HIM saying, “Oh, God, I’m so depressed”; Stephen Fry as the ever calm voice of the book (accompanied by brilliant animated illustrations) and a cameo by Simon Jones, the original Arthur, as the recorded message from Magrathea. For the hardcore fans, in the additonal cameo department are appearances by everyone from Douglas Adams himself (good trick, that) to individuals from the TV series, including the original Marvin. The original theme music shows up, and even a rubber duck which–although I could be completely misremembering–I think was on an album cover. And stay through the credits for another famed book entry about halfway in.

There are different plot tracks that will no doubt incense those who have forgotten that every version of HGG has different plot tracks, and there’s a sort of ultimate weapon introduced that’s used to hilarious effect. And I don’t mind the Zaphod/Arthur/Trillian romance triangle, particularly when one remembers that Adams had Arthur hitting on Trillian at a party before Zaphod whisked her away, so it’s not as if the groundwork isn’t there.

A theme song “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish” almost makes one wonder if Disney is trying to position this as their next Broadway musical endeavor. Since I’m reasonably sure musical theater is the one version that hasn’t been tried yet, I suppose it’s just a matter of time…which we all know to be an illusion, and lunchtime doubly so.

PAD