Year: 2004

It’s fascinating to see conservatives tossing around quotes from pols they hold in contempt (most conspicuously Clinton) to try and prove…well, I’m not sure what.

But if quotes mean so much, then let’s have a few more, all of which underscore Bush’s commitment to a vision and his world-respected ability to express himself. Please be aware…there are no typos in any of the below. They’re “as is.”

I think our troops ought to be used to fight and win war. But in this case, it was a nation-building exercise. And same with Haiti. I wouldn’t have supported either. (GWB, 2000)

(W)e can’t be all things to all people in the world. I am worried about over-committing our military around the world. I want to be judicious in its use. I don’t think nation-building missions are worthwhile. (GWB, 2000)

But the use of the military needs to be in our vital interest. The mission needs to be clear and the exit strategy obvious. (GWB, 2000)

This country has no designs on Cuba’s soverty; we have no designs on the soverty of Cuba. (GWB, 2002)

The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. (GWB, 2002)

Parents and educators will not be bystandards in education reform. (GWB, 2003)

These are folks that have hijacked a great religion and then take innocent life. And that’s a huge difference between America. (GWB 2002)

In my attitude, it doesn’t matter how high the hurdle is, we’ll cross it. (GWB 2003)

I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn’t here. (GWB 2002)

In today’s “For Better Or For Worse” as it was run in New York Newsday, April and her aspiring musician friends are practicing in the school band room, only to discover school bully Jeremy seated outside the door. When April invites him in saying, “We need an audience,” Jeremy replies, “What you need is a giant vacuum, loser…” and walks off in the fourth panel announcing, “Your music stinks.”

Not much of a knee slapper? Lynn Johnston have an off day? Well, not really. A closer look at the last word reveals that the letters between “s” and “k” have been erased, and the letters “tin” have been jammed in by a different hand with a darker pen. That’s right: The original punchline was “Your music sucks.” Which itself isn’t the height of hilarity, but at least prompts a smile, makes sense, and sounds like something a kid would say. Instead, thanks to the (and I use the word loosely) edit, Jeremy comes across like “Biff” in “Back to the Future” saying, “Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here.”

“Zits” ran into all kinds of problems a few months ago when papers got their knickers in a twist over Jeremy exclaiming something sucked. This in turn provoked the Sunday strip wherein “sucks” was used repeatedly in all manner of utterly benign ways until the final panel that had Jeremy’s bellowing “This sucks!” obscured by black tape while his mother tsk-tsks over his language, rightly skewering the idiocy of banning this context from the comics pages. Apparently, though, it’s still a hot button issue. Or at least it’s a hot button issue when someone named “Jeremy” says it since that’s the moniker of both offending characters.

A quick check on line indicates that, indeed, the original punchline was “”Your music sucks.”

I’m not sure at what level this occurred. It’s hard to believe it transpired at syndicate level because, if Johnston had been told to change it, she could have at least rewritten Jeremy’s set-up line as well. “What you need is a giant skunk” or “a rotting body” or “air freshener” or *something* having to do with smell, so two strips could be provided in order to accommodate the faint of heart.

But in New York? We have faint of heart in New York? We’re usually the market that runs the strips everyone else in the country freaks out about. I’m just hoping this didn’t occur at the newspaper level and some schmuck in the Newsday editorial department took it upon himself to change Johnston’s dialogue. Because that would, y’know…suck. And possibly also blow.

Perhaps all the comic strip artists should get together and coordinate it so “that sucks” appears in every single comic strip. April 1, maybe. Or maybe March 15, the Ides of March. Call it “Suckfest 2004.”

PAD

John Kerry’s wife goes by the name Teresa Heinz.

Can’t say I blame her. Who really wants to be tagged as “Terry Kerry?”

PAD

If a committee is created to try and discover the biggest failure in recent American intelligence, they won’t have to look any further for an answer than the signature at the bottom of the Executive Order that formed them.

PAD

Tom Galloway notes that Peter has gotten invited back to Harvard this weekend– specifically, Vericon.

His schedule for Saturday the 31st:

1:30-2:30 Comedy in Genre Writing panel with Mike Carey and Brian Clevinger

3:00-4:00 Signing

4:30-6:00 Whatever he wants to talk about (i.e. it’s Peter and an audience)

Come one, come all, come early, come often. Or does that belong in the previous thread?