I decided to pass on the notion of a midnight show of “Attack of the Clones,” having fallen asleep the last time I tried that. So this time around I opted for a nice, safe 10 AM show. Ariel was in tow, gleefully playing hooky from school as were, indeed, most of the people in the audience.
I’ll be doing a more detailed review of the film in “But I Digress.” Highlights: Yoda; Samuel L. Jackson getting Jedieval on people’s áššëš; most of the visuals; minimal Jar-Jar; John Williams score; the nice shadow bit on Tatooine where Anakin’s profile bears a resemblance to Vader’s, bringing to life the poster from Episode 1. Lowlights: Just about everything else. Script, direction, most of the acting, and most painfully, Anakin. As Luke proved when bìŧçhìņg about wanting to go into town for power converters, a little Jedi whining goes a long way. Obi-Wan’s holding him back? Obi-Wan should be gagging him. He’s going to bring balance to the Force? He couldn’t bring balance to my car radio. Christ, is he annoying.
Most telling to me was Ariel’s incisive, albeit unintentional, deconstruction of the film into its component marketing parts. A menacing sequence on a robot-manufacturing conveyor belt prompted Ariel to remark, “This would make a good ride.” When Amidala was chained to a giant post awaiting death in an arena, Ariel chirpped in recognition, “I have the toy of this!” It says something about the Star Wars universe when a ten year old is able to recognize it as the license-generating bonanza it has become, rather than the combination of movie serials and myth that it once was.
Bottom line: It’s better than its predecessor, which makes it both watchable and a relief. But “Empire” was better than its predecessor, and that was no mean feat. In this case, “Phantom Menace” lowered the bar so significantly that it wasn’t all that much of a chore. Hëll, reducing Jar Jar’s screen time from fifty minutes to five was more than enough to do it.
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