PeterDavid.net

Originally published July 22, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1079

I debated with myself whether to write about this, since it has nothing whatsoever to do with comics. But it’s an interesting little saga in my life, related to my getting older, and also provides a cautionary tale for anyone who finds him- or herself in similar straits. So I relate it to you now:

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I think it helps to remember those of us less fortunate. Like this unfortunate guy, whose email showed up in my box six times in a row.

Happy christmas to you,how are you doing hope you fine and in perfect order.My names are James Morttey i am 16 yrs old and i am from DR Congo,i came to Ghana after the murder of my parents 2 mouths ago by hired assasin by someone i don’t know,before they got to him in the house he revealed to me that i should come to Ghana with the documents in a small box,if i get a trust worth foreign partner to help me make claim to the fund he deposited in an Escrow account in International Commercial Bank Ghana.The woman whom i am with now cannot read she is not correct and people around call her crazy woman,and she cannot help me in this matter,i am contacting you to help me as my foreign partner so i can get my life back,go to school and have a family that will care for me,i do know what to do that is why i am contacting you to assist me. Thank you.

Poor bastard. Where’s my checkbook…?

PAD

People are trying to determine whether he’s this guy or that guy or what his role is in journalism vs. political activism vs. social activism.

I think I’ve got the final answer (and no, it’s not 42.) It’s actually rather simple.

A quote attributed to Eldridge Cleaver is, “Either you’re a part of the solution or part of the problem.”

Jon Stewart is part of the solution.

PAD

On the drive home from visiting Kathleen’s folks in Atlanta, we listened to the Classic Radio Program station on Sirius XM. I gotta tell you: modern day product placement has nothing on the days of classic radio. George Burns taking time to discuss the wonders of Swan soap while Gracie Allen raves about Maxwell House coffee. On a crime drama, a detective lights up a cigarette and discusses with his partner the healthful benefits of smoking Lucky Strikes. In a Sherlock Holmes drama, Doctor Watson–in character–chats with the announcer about a particular brand of tea.

The only programs on the air nowadays that are radio-era blatant in their product placement are “Chuck” with Subway (which admittedly helped save the series) and “30 Rock” where they’re gleefully self-conscious about pushing various items that you just know was thrust upon them from the powers that be.

So for those who despise the idea of blatant product placement, bad news: it’s a practice that goes back decades which means it’s probably not ending anytime soon.

PAD

The NY Times has caused quite a bit of discussion in comparing Stewart to the likes of Edward R. Murrow and, for that matter, Walter Cronkite, for displaying the ability to have an immediate and far-ranging impact on the issues of the day.

Some say that’s crazy talk. Others think there’s something there.

I’m not sure if Murrow or Cronkite would be flattered by the comparison. I don’t think Murrow constantly used profanities on the air, and what would Cronkite think about Stewart being the most trusted man in America?

I dunno. I think Jon Stewart simply put before Americans the common sense of the subject, in terms so plain and firm as to command their assent…

Oh my God. Jon Stewart is Thomas Jefferson.

PAD

Originally published July 15, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1078

Two things this time around.

First, I received a good deal of positive response to my letter about the Self article. In case you’ve forgotten, this was the half-witted piece chock full of misinformation, designed to terrorize unknowing readers into thinking their local comic store was a haven for porno comics. Plus, Self included a forum where readers could write and state whether they felt a congressional investigation into comics, a la the 1950s, was warranted.

I also got the following from Self itSelf:

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Down in Atlanta, we took Caroline to see a puppet re-creation at the Center for Puppetry Arts of the Rankin-Bass “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” The puppet builders have done an astounding job creating puppets that are absolute dead ringers for the ones from the original TV special. But in seeing it in a new venue for the first time, things occurred to me that either hadn’t before or had, but I just hadn’t thought of them for a while.
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My little gift to the readers: A chance to exercise your imagination in the Christmas spirit.

Dear Editor: I am eight years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth. Is there a Santa Claus? — Virginia O’Hanlon
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The response she receives.
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Dear Reader: Thank you for your letter. We regret that we cannot respond to all our readers, but we appreciate your support, and also invite you to visit us at our website at www.nysun.com.
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Puzzled but determined, Virginia posts the exact same letter on the website.
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What response, I wonder, would she receive?
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“First!”
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“This poster isn’t eight. What eight year old would say, “My little friends?” Obviously some middle-aged sicko.”
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“Epic Reality Fail!”
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“Troooooolll.”
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“Cut the kid some slack. Maybe she needs some sort of inspirational message about the spirit of Christmas and the nature of Santa Claus.”
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“Don’t be an idiot. This kid, if it is a kid–which I seriously doubt–needs a reality check.”
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“Obvious plant by the Sun. The whole “if I see it there, it must be true.” Yeah, right.”
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Any other thoughts?
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PAD

Originally published July 8, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1077

When I was a kid, every Friday night was The Flintstones. The animated family was a part of my life for, literally, as long as I could remember. I looked forward to Fred giving that opening bellow of “Yabba dabba doo” and sliding down that bronto tail at the beginning of the show.

(Curiously, unlike contemporary catch phrases that work their way into vernacular such as “D-oh!” or “Isn’t that special” or even “I didn’t inhale,” we kids didn’t actually go around shouting “Yabba dabba doo.” I mean, we knew the phrase, and we knew it was Fred’s, but we didn’t try to imitate it. Maybe we just didn’t want to talk like cartoon characters. Nowadays that doesn’t seem to be quite as true. I hear “huh huh huh” from kids and even, God help us, adults, in imitation of cartoon characters whose animation is so pathetic that it makes the limited animation Flintstones look like Fantasia. But I digress…)

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At a point in history where journalists do not hesitate to toss aside any shred of impartiality and advocate for politicians and partisan political issues, some people are starting to mutter that Jon Stewart, of all people, was somehow out of line with his obvious influence in helping the 9/11 First Responders bill pass–something even the White House acknowledges.

For those who missed it, in last Thursday’s “Daily Show” Stewart excoriated the press for their silence on the inability of Congress to pass the bill that would provide financial relief for First Responders to 9/11. Then, doing the job that they were unable/unwilling to do, he interviewed four suffering First Responders which is, y’know, what REAL reporters are supposed to do. But they weren’t, so he did.

This national bitch slapping of the media woke them up and suddenly had shamed senators scrambling for political cover. Lo and behold, the bill was revived from the dead and has now passed.

Some are claiming that, because of this, Stewart has crossed a line from comedian to political advocate.

They’re wrong on two counts.

First: He was covering a news story. Sometimes lack of coverage is a story in and of itself.

Second: Jon Stewart is not a political advocate. He’s a New York advocate. He was letting New Yorker’s Finest and New York’s Bravest know that he had their backs.

Damned straight.

PAD

And after that it turned into a police car…and then a Boeing 747…and then…

Seriously, the novelization actually turned out pretty well, I thought. I’m always kind of amazed when a novelization reads smoothly, because while I’m in the middle of it, it always feels like it’s patchwork as I integrate my own scenes and dialogue with what’s in the script. But when I sat down and proofread it, it was pretty seamless. So I’m rather pleased with it. This is my first really sustained involvement with the Transformers and I didn’t realize what a fun bunch of characters they can be.

Plus what helped tremendously was that I had direct access to Hasbro. As opposed to some other occasions where everything has to be routed through the editor and, consequently, getting things questions answered can take a while, this was a snap because if there was anything I needed clarified, I went right to Hasbro and my contact there filled me in. So it was as smooth a process as it could possibly have been.

I don’t know the pub date, but I’d imagine it’ll be between four and six weeks before the film.

One hopes it will be available in places other than Costco and Sam’s Club.
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PAD

An Open Letter to Doctor Raj Koothrappali:

Dear Doctor–

As a former writer of “Aquaman,” I must take issue with your continued diatribes and dismissal of the King of the Sea in last week’s episode, “The Justice League Recombination.”
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Originally published June 24, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1075

As a writer, one takes a certain perverse pleasure in using words to elicit emotional responses from people. What is writing, after all, but using the printed word to get reactions? When people say to me, “I read such and such of yours and it made me cry,” I feel I’ve done my job… at least, if sorrow was what I was attempting to put across.

Which is probably why I’m having real trouble with this installment of “But I Digress.”

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Below the cut line is my fairly long commentary on the Julie Taymor-directed musical currently in previews at the Foxwoods Theatre. I have tried to minimize spoilers.

Enjoy.

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Originally published June 17, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1074

A while back I mentioned one of my demented notions, prompted by DC’s Sandman Mystery Theater and my enthusiasm for Mystery Science Theater 3000 (which features a human and two robots situated in front of, and loudly making snide remarks about, genre flicks.)

I suggested the combining of the two into Mystery Sandman Theater 3000, and invited folks to send in sample for inclusion in BID whenever I’m heading out of town for a while (like today, for instance.)

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Kathleen and I have tickets for the 8 PM performance of “Spider-Man: Turn Down the Thermostat,” or whatever it’s called. Still in previews, of course, which means basically it’s a glorified dress rehearsal. But for us, this is a definite can’t-miss event. I’m figuring it’s either going to be a “Phantom of the Opera”-level spectacle, or a “Dance with the Vampire”-level trainwreck. Either way, I’ll report back here. (No, I’m not gonna live blog it).

PAD

With the news that Jon Favreau will not be directing “Iron Man III,” and no successor named, I am hereby informing Marvel West that I am available to step in and take over for him.

I might seem an unlikely choice since I have not, in fact, ever directed a motion picture. But I figure that everyone has to start somewhere. And the fact that I have zero experience in this aspect pales in comparison to all the reasons I should be hired. (more…)

Originally published June 10, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1073

The thug is on the ground, blinking in terror and fear at his chalk-faced attacker. Unable to hide his panic, he stammers words to the effect of, “You’re dead! You’re dead! You can’t come back! This is real life! This is real! The dead don’t come back in real life!”

As I’ve mentioned in a past column, it’s an old writing trick to try and give a movie (comic book, novel, whatever) an additional air of actuality by having characters cite a particularly hard-to-swallow plot element and pointing out that such things only happen in works of fiction. The inference to be drawn is that what you’re experiencing is not a work of fiction but, in fact, something with a much greater claim to reality than mere fabrication.

Yet never has such a line had more of a sense of melancholy than in the The Crow, the beleaguered and notorious film version of James O’Barr’s highly personal and highly charged magnum opus (as in, many magnums were fired.)

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The season finale to “Dexter” is tonight, and thus far–fairly consistently–I have yet to figure out how things are going to end up. Which doesn’t stop me from trying it again and, just on the off chance I’m right (which I probably won’t be) I’ll put it below the–heh–cut line…
UPDATED BELOW with actual spoilers…
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Apparently it was still being published.

Now it’s been announced that it’s canceled. So much for that.

Am I the only one who would love to see a new strip where she teams up with (Little Orphan) Annie and (ackk!!!) Cathy to solve crimes? What would you title that strip, I wonder?

PAD