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I’m here and ready to blog. Continues below the cutline. (more…)

About two hours before the crack of dawn tomorrow–barring a dramatic change in circumstances–I’m going to hop into a car and drive down to Washington, D.C. for the Comedy Central-sponsored political rally. I have no idea if anyone else on this board is planning to go, but if so, maybe I’ll see you there. For everyone else, it’s going to be broadcast on Comedy Central from Noon to 3.

PAD

UPDATE: I will be endeavoring to Live Blog from the rally. We’ll see if I can manage to make it work on Kath’s iPad.

Originally published February 25, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1058

It was easy when I was a kid. You didn’t trust anyone over the age of 30… the sole exception being Walter Cronkite (or, as his name was pronounced, Wal-ter Cron-kite).

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Absolutely loved the “Glee” “Rocky Horror” episode. They did a terrific job of matching the characters on “Glee” in ways that I wouldn’t have imagined, plus the most terrifying aspect of all: Sue Sylvester making sense. Overall a tremendous job.

And best of all, Fox didn’t stop us from seeing it; we picked it up off iTunes. And yeah, I know, I know, Fox probably gets some money from that. But compare that to all the ad revenue they’ve lost in the NY area during their douchy blackout, and add to it Major League Baseball’s deciding to stream the World Series live for a fairly small fee (I’m dubious as to how many NY/Philly fans will give a damn, but at least the option is available) which I assume Fox will get no share of, and it’s nice to see that they’re taking some lumps for inconveniencing three million people. I mean, really, to get treated this badly by Fox, you usually have to be a science fiction series on Friday nights.

PAD

There is a staggering irony to Bill O’Reilly inflaming the anger and suspicion that people have for Muslims.

Because it wasn’t all that long ago–just the middle of last century, in fact–that plenty of people opposed the notion of electing a Catholic to the office of President of the United States, on the assertion that he would simply take all his marching orders from the Vatican. Very Loud Men declared that a Catholic President would be nothing more than a puppet of the Pope, promoting the secret Catholic agenda (whatever that was.)

And a hundred years before that, when desperate Irish people were flooding our shores to escape the Potato Famine, Very Loud Men decried it, stating that the Irish would ruin our country. And the Very Loud Men got people very upset, and signs when up at places of employment declaring “Irish Need Not Apply.” And there isn’t any polling data available that I know of, but I’ll wager far more than seventy percent of Americans didn’t want those damned Irish, not to mention their damned Irish places of worship, anywhere on our fair shores.

And I’ll bet that a lot of those Very Loud Men looked and sounded a lot like an Irish Catholic man named Bill O’Reilly.

PAD

Originally published February 18, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1057

For the first time in quite a while, I have to do a bit of a fill-in column, since I’m crunched on a deadline from a Star Trek novel. (So for all those who ask, “How do you have the time to do all the things you write,” the answer is, I don’t always.)

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The stalemate between Cablevision and News Corp that threatens to keep the World Series off the air in the New York area just got a kick in the ‘nads for News Corp.

Why? Because the Yankees just lost to the Texas Rangers. So the interest of the average New Yorker in the World Series just dropped precipitously. Sure, some might still be interested, but it’s a lot less of an imperative for a lot more people.

And if the Phillies lose to the Giants, that’s pretty much it as far as the tri-state area is concerned. So News Corp can yell about how it’s Cablevision’s fault that News Corp yanked Channel 5 and thus lost viewers the World Series, but most viewers will just be shrugging and, if they’re so inclined, picking up “House” or “Glee” off iTunes.

PAD

UPDATED at 11:39 PM–And the Phillies are out. That resounding thud you just heard is another bargaining chip hitting the ground.

I happened to be doing some general reading up on the Apocalypse for something I’m working on (how’s that for an unsettling hint) and just for laughs I decided to check Wikipedia. Here’s what it said, and I quote:

The End of the World
It is thought that in the year 2012 A.D. Bruce Lee will rise up from the dead and engage in an epic battle with Chuck Norris destroying the planet and all its inhabitants in the process.

Actually, if that were a movie, I’d go see it.

PAD

For those who have iPads, iPhones, and similar i-Products, the app for the “Epic Mickey” digicomics–written by yours truly–have gone live. The comics are set before the events detailed in the upcoming “Epic Mickey” video game, depicting the world of Wasteland (populated by forgotten Disney characters) before the great Thinner Disaster that lays the groundwork for the game.

My personal favorite is “The Rubbish Cup,” which is basically a love letter to the late, lamented Adventurers Club. Check it out.

PAD

Originally published February 11, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1056

As I’ve stated in the past, I’ve never been a big fan of capital punishment.

One of the primary concerns is that the penalty will be applied along racial and socio-economic lines. A poor black man convicted of murder, for instance, would be more likely to get the gas chamber than would a wealthy upper class white man.

A forfeiture (that of one’s life, in this case) so inherently unfair has no business being institutionalized.

So it was with great interest that I read a letter from Capital City Distribution, dated January 6, addressed to all suppliers (i.e., publishers) that announced some of “the more critical and dramatic changes that will be published in our new Supplier Handbook.” These changes, Capital advised, “are necessary for a number of reasons and have been implemented after much careful thought…”

Indeed.

Suppliers are further advised that these changes “are not for our convenience or for purely selfish motives but to improve the health of the entire supply chain by reducing costs and waste for the suppliers, retailers and distributors.”

Indeed. A laudable goal.

And how is Capital planning to do this?

Well, one way–the most impressive and controversial way–is through Capital Punishment.

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I was watching an episode of “Cash Cab” the other day: The Discovery Channel game show where unwitting passengers find themselves in the titular vehicle, answering a series of trivia questions for cash prizes.

One of the questions posed by host/driver Ben Bailey was: “If you’re drinking through a six pack of beer, and you’re cracking open the penultimate can, which can of beer are you drinking?” The riders put their heads together, and one young woman who appeared to be the brains of the group said, “Well…a ‘pen…tagram’ is a five pointed star. And the pen…tagon has five sides. So the pen…ultimate can must be the fifth can!”
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Haven’t done one of these in a while, but I wanted to give you a heads up that, aside from X-Factor #210 being out, there’s also a “Ghostbusters” Halloween one shot that was co-written by myself and Kathleen (although for some reason her name wasn’t listed on the credits.)

PAD

I am so NOT the target audience for the weekday morning chatfest (although my mother adores it), but I had to tune in in order to see the aftermath of last week’s blow-up.  Nothing was really solved during it:  The women reiterated their positions and the only thing they all agreed upon was that it was time to move on.  Which was a shame, because I think they should have all agreed that Barbara Walters was wrong.  Although that’s not actually the main point I want to make, but we’ll get to it.

In case you missed it:  Bill O’Reilly was spouting off about yet another thing he knew nothing about, namely the Muslim center.  You remember the center:  It was a place that was a complete non-issue until an Islamiphobic, right wing Ayn Rand worshipper in Long Island turned it into one because, y’know, that’s really the sort of opinion maker whom you want shaping public discourse.

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The new episode, airing 7 PM EST on Cartoon Network, is entitled “The Shrieking Madness.”  And it guest stars Harlan Ellison in the role he was born to play:  “Harlan Ellison.”  Who, as it turns out, is Velma’s favorite author.  Plus so far I’ve counted one “Galaxy Quest” in-joke.

If you are somehow missing it, it’s repeated at 9:30 PM tonight and at 10:30 AM tomorrow.

PAD

Originally published February 4, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1055

I have absolutely no idea where this is a nationwide problem or not.

I suddenly noticed that my kids don’t have “Current Events” homework anymore. That, indeed, Current Events seems to have vanished from the local curriculum.

You remember Current Events. Once a week–sometimes every day, if you had a particularly aggressive and socially conscious teacher–you were supposed to flip through the newspaper and clip out an article about what was going on in the world.

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Remember when I was furious because Cablevision and ABC had a falling out and we wound up going to a hotel so we could watch the Oscars?

Well, the latest round is Fox pulling its line-up of programming because Cablevision didn’t want to increase their payout to Fox from $70 million to $150 million.

This time, though, I couldn’t care less.

The programs I actually watch on Fox are easily available through the Internet.  It’s one less show (“Glee”)  to be pitted against “Tower Prep” in this media market.  Being a Mets fan, I absolutely don’t give a crap about the baseball post season, and if I’m inclined to watch football for some unknown reason, there’s plenty of other avenues for it.  And best of all, it makes it less convenient for the conservatives to watch their beloved Fox News.

So I really don’t give a damn how long this particular outage continues.

PAD

A terrific new live action series by Paul Dini called “Tower Prep” will be debuting this Tuesday on Cartoon Network.  To give it the ten word pitch, it’s like “The Prisoner” but in high school.  In the interests of full disclosure, Paul’s a friend and he showed me the pilot months ago; that doesn’t detract from my belief that it’s a high quality family program that deserves a wide audience.

However that’s going to be a chore.  It has quite possibly THE worst time slot they could have given it:  8 PM EST.  For viewers interested in high school dramas, that puts it against “Glee.”  For audiences who want a show featuring people with unusual abilities and an enigmatic back story, there’s “No Ordinary Family.”  Between that and the minimal-to-nonexistent push the series has been getting ( there was virtually no “Tower Prep” presence at San Diego and zero at New York, even though the show was debuting the following week) getting viewers is going to be a tough slog.

But if you want to take a shot at sampling it before it gets exiled to its formidable time slot, it’s airing tonight, Saturday, at 9 PM EST.  So give it a watch…while you can.

PAD

Originally published January 28, 1994, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1054

Many moons ago, the folks at Warners Animation decided that they were going to produce a straight-to-video movie version of the popular Batman: The Animated Series. And then, somewhere along the way, they must have figured: What the hell. Let’s put a few bucks into it and release it theatrically.

Thus we have Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, a sort of mixed breed, mixed bag of a film.

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The Good: My table in Artist’s Alley was well positioned and I had a chance to see lots of folks who frequent this site, not to mention a number of old friends and even some REALLY old friends.  The separate signings that I had were well attended, although I hold no illusions that people were lining up to see me (at the Evil Ink table, they were there for Claudio Sanchez; at my two Marvel signings, they were there for Chris Claremont at the first one and for the Romitas at the second.)  But, hey, a line’s a line.  And I particularly had a good time on the “Epic Mickey” panel.  I decided to have some fun at the beginning by abruptly saying, “I want to do something,” and I watched the Disney reps in the front row blanch as they obviously thought, “Oh God, what’s he going to say, what’s he going to do?” And then I led the crowd in a rendition of the “Mickey Mouse Club” theme song, and the Disney reps promptly relaxed and even sang along.  Also had a chance to actually play the game at a display, and it totally rocked.  Gonna have to buy a Wii.

The Bad: The lack of names on the badges prompted me to be mistaken for other various comics creators.  Also, thanks to construction in the Javits, Artists Alley was at the opposite end of the building from panels, which meant that any panel appearance necessitated making my way through about five blocks worth of crowds.  Also Artists Alley was set up at the one section of the Javits Center that had no restrooms; they were at the opposite end of the room. Furthermore people were consistently given misinformation by the information people, including telling them that my signing at Evil Ink on Saturday was 5 PM (it was 3 PM; it was 5 PM on Friday) and being utterly unable to tell fans where my table was situated.

The Ugly: It’s generally good form to send folks home on an upbeat note.  To signal the end of the Comic Con in San Diego, they blink the lights and an announcer gently says that the party’s over.  Not New York.  They signaled the end of the convention by blaring a horn over the PA system that’s identical to the sirens from German police cars.  Between that and the guys in colored shirts trying to herd us, my racial memory kicked in and I started looking around fearfully for the railroad cars to transport us to the camps.  So they might want to come up with something more soothing next year…like an air raid siren.

PAD