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Robert J. Elisberg’s “The Noble ‘I want My Country Back’”

PAD

Originally published December 31, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1050

Continuing on our sojourn through the BID mailbag, we come to a missive from Hector in New York. I’ve taken the liberty of editing it for length, although I emphasize that the editing does nothing to change any meanings or statements:

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Were the plush toys of Satchel and Bucky ever released? I see them listed on Diamond as being out of stock and permanently unavailable, but they would have the same thing if the toys had been announced and then canceled. And there are zero listed on that catch-all of Americana, ebay.

PAD

Originally published December 24, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1049

That creaking sound you hear is the mail vault at BID being opened. Let’s see what we’ve got.

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To attend Madcon. The big draw, of course: Harlan Ellison, who looked for a while as if he were going to be ailing too much to come out, but changed his mind and decided to attend.

After that, I’m heading to Los Angeles to watch the recording session of my first episode of “Young Justice,” so that’ll be fun.

PAD

Just the other day I was chatting with my father, and he was contending that the world is so much worse than it used to be. More violent, angrier, etc. And my contention was that, no, that’s not the case; that the pervasiveness of the media and the incessant need to feed a twenty-four hour news cycle results in a constant requirement for more “food” for the beast, and our Internet/video age helps to supplement that need. Once upon a time, national TV news consisted of a half hour or one hour slot around dinner time, and that was it. Local news mostly reiterated national stories with a local edge, plus stories involving fires or physical danger, and that was pretty much that. Now potential media involvement and national attention is no further away than the latest video cam. Case in point: (more…)

My niece, in second grade, took the following quiz, which is from a standardized book of tests used in schools nationwide. Why, you may ask, am I reproducing it here?

Just read it. You’ll know it when you get to it.

PAD

Barney Stinson of “How I Met Your Mother” once enumerated the times that he indulged in the habit of smoking:

“I only smoke in certain situations: post-coital, when I’m with Germans, sometimes those two overlaps, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day The Mets are mathematically eliminated every year,…”

Which was, this year, Saturday night. As Jason Bay Watch(ed) from the sidelines on the DL (as predicted on this blog months ago) the Mets wretched second half is now all over but for the shouting and finger pointing. At least we don’t have to listen to announcers talking about how every damned game is a “must win” as if the Mets had any post-season hopes while anyone with the ability to count knew the season was pretty much over weeks ago.

* sigh * Enjoy your cancer stick, Barney.

PAD

Originally published December 17, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1048

Ooooh! Oooh! Hey everybody! Jo Duffy and Trina Robbins are having a catfight!

Can Catwoman’s breasts actually be milked for an entire column? No. But it’s a springboard for wider silliness, certainly.

Political correctness, as I discussed several weeks ago, is rearing its head everywhere. Even those worshippers of the whacked, the Addams Family—particularly the children—are treading ever so lightly in that direction. (No, this isn’t a movie review column; merely a further illustration of mindsets, that’s all.)

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Originally published December 10, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1047

VIC CHALKER: Hello, and welcome to Larry King Live. Larry’s on vacation this week. This is your substitute host, Vic Chalker, and I am tremendously excited to be host of a debate that everyone is going to be talking about for quite some time to come.

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I’ve been wondering about a possible plot line that could unfold in the upcoming season of “The Big Bang Theory.” Just on the off chance that I’m right, I’m treating it as a potential spoiler and putting it below the cut line.
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We have The Spider-man Vault which both Peter and Bob Greenberger worked very hard on.

We have Fable: the Balverine Order (which includes a cool code for Fable III)

And X-Factor 209 with Longshot in Vegas is out.

Enjoy-
Kath

PS: use this for this weeks Stash Wednesday and what you are currently reading

You can purchase Harlan’s first typewriter. It still works.

More information about it can be found here.

I felt as many people as possible should know about this. Feel free to spread the word.

I hope someone around here acquires it. That would be cool.

PAD

Originally published December 3, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1046

(Concluding Peter’s latest foray to the wilds of Romania—in this instance, for the filming of the science-fiction western Oblivion.)

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Names unfamiliar? How about Brian Nelson? Know him? No? Kind of shrug or have a neutral reaction?

How about M. Night Shaymalan?

Well, sure. NOW you wince or shudder or remember when that name promised a brain-twisting thrill of a suspense film before he wandered off into self-indulgent crap.
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In the grand scheme of things, I know that “Dancing with the Stars” doesn’t even register.

But it bugs me that, when they announced this year’s cast, virtually all of the focus has been on Bristol Palin, with occasional glances at David Hasselhoff, Mrs. Brady, and some guy from an MTV reality program. And absolutely no one is paying the least bit of attention to the REAL story:

Jennifer Freaking Grey is in the cast. Baby herself is in the house. The intrepid amateur dancer determined to measure up to the demands of a hunky dancing instructor. It’s life imitating art. How is no one making hay out of this? She is quite literally the only reason to watch the show.

PAD

Okay, look, I like pun names as much as anyone else and probably more than is healthy.

But a new villain has been announced for the Spider-Man musical who has a costume composed of Swiss Army knives, which I suppose can be pretty vicious.

And her name is Swiss Miss?

Look, I desperately want to see the musical be a hit, if for no other reason than that it’s always fun to see nay-sayers get it in the teeth. But really, if it’s a villain, and you’ve got two and a half hours to establish her as a threat, naming her after a brand of hot cocoa really isn’t the way to go. Unless they’re going for full-blown camp, in which case, well, okay, good luck with that. It didn’t serve Superman’s Broadway musical well in 1966, and that was back when superhero camp was big. Campy musicals can succeed, but they typically need smaller, preferably off-Broadway venues. On Broadway, reaction to camp usually comes in the form of derision or disgust. Just ask the audience members who walked out halfway through “Dance of the Vampires.” (Kathleen and I saw it twice; we’re just that twisted, and the show was that much of a train wreck that we had to see it a second time to confirm what we saw the first time.)

There’s gotta be better names for her. “Blade” is obviously a no-go, but maybe Cutter? Slice-And-Dice? B-Sharp? Just…not cocoa.

PAD

Originally published November 26, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1045

Meanwhile, back in Romania…

Once again I have journeyed to the low-budget film capital of the world: Romania, where Full Moon Entertainment works in conjunction with Castel Films to produce inexpensive genre films (science fiction, fantasy, horror, etc.) for the straight-to-video audience.

Last time I was here, it was to observe the filming of Trancers IV and Trancers V, the adventures of the time-traveling hero Jack Deth.

This time, it’s Oblivion.

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President Obama, who resolutely refused to take a position on the wisdom of building a Muslim center two blocks from Ground Zero, has unequivocally said that he thinks Jones burning Korans is a terrible idea. The obvious difference is that he thinks lives aren’t at stake in the building of a mosque, but firmly believes Americans will be at risk in this display of contempt.

Meanwhile Jones is claiming that if someone from the White House or the government contacted him, he would “seriously reconsider.” This is coming across more and more like a low-rent cult leader looking for publicity than anything else.

And just so everyone’s clear on my position on this: I regard it the exact same way that I do flag burning. It’s protected speech, yet it doesn’t seem particularly constructive because the image is so inflammatory (no pun intended) that people are too busy getting pissed off to listen to what you have to say.

PAD

UPDATED 6:14 PM–So apparently Reverend Nutjob has decided to cool his jets, with the dubious claim that the builders of the proposed NY Muslim Center have agreed to find a new location. Whatever. Basically he got the publicity he sought, so mission accomplished.

We have some modest plans for the day, but whatever we do, it’s not enough to show how much we love and adore you. Many happy returns of the day.

PAD