Nearly three weeks ago, for no discernible reason, I started developing pain in my right hip. I was fine once I started walking or if I was sitting or lying down; but the transition from sitting to standing was agonizing. (And if that doesn’t seem a problem, then keep track of the number of times you go from sitting to standing and vice versa in the course of a day). They took X-rays and found nothing relevant to hip pain. So they put me on some heavy-duty pain killers and recommended, just as a precaution, that I see an orthopedist.
By the time I saw the orthopedist, it had gotten worse. Walking no longer kick started my hip; now I couldn’t walk without a cane (although to assuage my new found sense of vulnerability, I was using my sword cane.) The orthopedist believed that it could be a pinched nerve and put me on a prescription of pregnazone, but also slated me for an MRI. And I was on the clock, because this was happening on Wednesday and I was slated to get on an airplane the following Monday for a business trip.
The MRI was barely 24 hours later. By that point, it had spread to both my hips and my thighs down to my knees (although not into them, thankfully). I couldn’t believe how fast I was degenerating. I was now in pain 24/7. There was no comfortable position for me; at most, I could become so exhausted that I would pass out for an hour here or there before the pain awoke me. That was my equivalent of sleep.
They got back the MRI results and that’s when it pretty much went right off the rails.
I had somehow managed to herniate or rupture a disc in my lower back. Apparently it was something that had built up over time. There were bone fragments in there and a sac of fluid had built up,and all the escalating pressure was destroying me from the waist down.
Some doctors in this situation recommend a combination of waiting to see if the fluid reabsorbs and “pain management” (if you can call writhing and screaming “Kill me!” managing things). Even if I could have withstood it, I doubted my family could have. The pregnazone had done nothing. Vicodin had had no impact. They’d upgraded me to a morphine derivative, which had no affect on the pain but just simply caused me to stop caring for a few hours. It also prompted me to call Harlan at 11 o’clock at night for no reason and then spend most of the conversation laughing into the receiver. My next planned call, as much as I’m able to remember, was to call my ex-wife and start blowing raspberries at her except Kathleen took away my phone privileges.
But the doctor who I met with said a course of surgery would pretty much fix it instantly. He could drain the fluid and remove the bone fragments. This presented a time line that meant I would not have to cancel my plans for Shore Leave and San Diego. Plus, y’know…instant relief. This had only been going on for two weeks, and yet I already could not recall a time when I hadn’t been in pain. It had taken over my family, my life. Anything I wanted to do, from sitting and reading to my youngest to earning a living to finding a way to turn my body so I could kiss my wife, pain was omnipresent, like a demanding child with insatiable appetite for attention.
The operation, a discectomy (or, more accurately a fragmentectomy) was described as having a history of minimal risk and high effectiveness. Plus how could you not want to use a Doctor named Faust? I kid you not. My spine surgeon was Doctor Faust. Tragically, his first name was not Felix, nor did he have a nurse named Marlowe. But still…Doctor Faust. How can you pass that up?
I was rapidly reaching a point where I was going to be bed-ridden, with a wheel chair necessary if I wanted to leave the house. So they steamrolled the procedure through and slated it for last Friday at a hospital in Nassau County. We were there at 6:15 AM and they had me on the table by 7:45. Kathleen was in the family waiting room and she wound up conversing with a young guy who was a writer on “Letterman” and was waiting to hear about, I think, his sister. I don’t know what the details of her operation were, but I understand they were considerably more hazardous than mine. On the off chance that he’s reading this, I hope he’ll drop me a note at padguy@aol.com and let us know how it went.
The doctor had told us the procedure would take an hour to an hour and a half. So by the time three hours rolled around, Kathleen was going out of her mind, and then Doctor Faust appeared, although not in a burst of smoke with a cape, tragically enough. He told her what I’ll now tell you: The MRI had not revealed how extensive the damage was. He had hoped there would be one single bond fragment; instead there were numerous, smaller fragments, and it had taken them a long while to make sure that all of them were out. That’s why the operation had gone twice as long.
I was checked out of the hospital some hours later and sent home with a prescription of percoset. The prescription said to take one every four hours.
By late Friday night, the last of the anesthesia had worn off, and I was plunged into hëll.
The good news is that the pain was gone from my hips. I could sense it. But it was more than compensated for by the normal post op pain that was radiating from my back and hammering through my central nervous system. I was beyond agony. This last the previous couple of week’s pain in the dust. After over an hour of excruciating experimentation, I found a way to lie horizontally across the bed that afforded some minimal rest. I woke up after sporadic sleep and was no better. Returning to the hospital was not an option; there was no way I could get down the stairs. Every single movement was laced with pain. The doctor’s office assured me that the first 24 hours would be the worst and it would get better after that.
By Monday it wasn’t better. The doctor’s office said, “Let’s review the medication. You’re taking two Percoset every four hours…”
I said, “Wait. Stop. I’m taking one.”
They said, “You’re supposed to be taking two.”
I said, “The label says one.”
“Well, we have in our notes that you should be taking two. Also in between dosages, take two Advil for additional relief.”
I doubled my dosage immediately and started taking the Advil as well. Within six hours, the pain had dropped to what I would describe as discomfort. By evening, I was actually able to sleep for hours at a stretch. Today is the first day that I’ve felt well enough to start working, and this entry is a warm-up for that. My wife and children are no longer being serenaded by howls of agony. I’m starting to feel human again. I’m catching up with DVD sets that I’ve never had a chance to watch before–currently I’m in the fourth season of “How I Met Your Mother” which, if you’re not watching, you really should be.
I might still be moving a bit slower at Shore Leave than I’m used to, but at least I’ll be there. And I should be fully functional in time for San Diego. So I’ll see you there.
And if you start developing hip pain, don’t try to be tough about it. Seek medical consultation immediately and, if your condition doesn’t respond to medication, don’t be afraid to let people know about that. Get the help you need.
PAD
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Just wanted to add to the string of “that sux, man – hope you feel better” comments.
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And while I’ve had no intriguingly named doctors that I can remember, while in the Air Force I did become acquainted with Captain Justice.
Glad you’re on the mend. Feel better quickly.
My dad had something similar. Back issues and all are a b**ch and I’ve had some nights with the screaming. Thankfully, everything worked out after a doc finally diagnosed the problem (Aortic valve of all frikkin things).
I remember the nights with the screaming and all, but everything is better now. Now all he does is b**ch and moan about the age stuff that’s happening. OH! And when the Daily Show is a repeat.
Cripes. Heal quickly and feel better soon.
And here I was: worrying about this week’s “X-Position” being late. Mr. David: I’ll be praying for you. I wish you good health, man.
That sounds awful, but I’m glad you’re on your way to recovery!
Wow, what a nightmare! Hope your recovery is quick and uninterrupted! All the best….
I’m glad you are getting better! What a scary situation to be in! I’m glad your results were better than my mother’s. She recently when to the emergency room from recurrent back pain for which they had only previously done xrays for her lower back with no results. By the time she went back the pain was so great they took more xrays of her lower back again and accidentally caught spinal damage that was located in her middle spinal area. They told her she needed emergency surgery and by the time she woke up she had lost the feeling and use of her legs. They did another surgery to check it out and that didn’t fix it. The surgeon admitted that he had leaned on her spine more than he should have but now she is in a rehab facility trying to get the use of her legs back because of it. Obviously, he was no Dr. Faust. If any of you need spinal surgery I highly recommend getting a second opinion and the best surgeon you can find because your quality of life is on the line. I hope you fully recover soon Peter!
Sean
Peter,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I have a similar story (although not as extensive as yours. Two weeks ago I got off from work and I was eating a sandwich from my local Subway and about an hour after eating said sandwich I started having a stomach ache. Over the next few hours the pain started spreading from my stomach to my right side. I was in so much pain that I could not handle it any longer. I called my mother and she took me to my local ER and one CT scan later: it was revealed to be my gallbladder. Ihey sent me home with pain killers and an appointment to see the surgeon on Friday. The next afternoon I had a ultra sound and yup it had to come out. The bad thing was that I had the choice to wait until Monday morning or be oncalll for Saturday. I chose to wait until Monday morning but I had to be on a liquid diet from Friday-Sunday.No problem, I had gastric bypass surgery last year (I lost 140 lbs so far) and I was on a liquied diet for two weeks after surgery. Monday rolled around and I showed up for surgery and FINALLY they took me in at 6:00 PM. I woke up three hours later in recovery and it was told to my mother at the time that my gall bladder was swolllen and was sticking to my body cavitity. Should I be glad??LOL Anyway, the point of my sotry is this: In the past week I have met more people who have had surgery than I would have guessed. Take easy PAD and I hope you get well soon. PS We need a New Frontier story with Kirk and Calhoun!LOL It can be a holodeck adventure! 😛 Take care.
Ouch. I can’t imagine what that feels like, but I pray you’ll recover in full soon, Mr. David.
WOW!!! What an experience, sir. I do surely hope you recover completely and quickly.I know that this is such a minor consideration but I hope you get to bowl again soon. I know that it is a joy of yours and I would hate to have you deprived of it. Get well soon, Master Scribe!!!
Glad to hear things are working out. My dad has had similar back problems. He waited too long to get back surgery and wound up having to get hip surgery some years later. (Apparently the back problems he endured put a serious burden on the hips.) We also went through a similar experience recently where a surgery took twice as long as we were told it would. Nerve-wracking.
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I hope you have a speedy and full recovery, and that you and your family won’t have to endure an experience like this again.
Glad that you’re feeling better!
Oddly enough, as I read this post (and wrote this reply) I am watching the fourth season of “How I Met Your Mother” (specifically the episode “Happily Ever After”.)
Relieved to hear you feel better now, PAD. Pain is a bìŧçh because it follows you everywhere.
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Actually a bit envious about you having time to enjoy dvd boxes.”How I met your mother” is a great show but be careful, the fifth season is…irregular.
Oh goodness does that suck: the condition and pain, not the surgery and hopefully speedy recovery. Heal well and soon, Peter. The less you write, the more Mark Millar writes, so, you know… 🙂
Yow. Okay, I really hope that knocks a whole lot of negative karma off your balance sheet, ’cause it sounds like you made a balloon payment there.
Glad to hear you’re recovering, man. Don’t know if I’ll see you at the ‘Con since I’ll be working, but if not, have a great one.
All the best wishes to you and your family.
I learned the hard way not to ignore pain, I’m prone to pilonodal cysts, and the first time I got a bad one I tried to tough it out and wait a week. Wish I hadn’t, because by the time I went to a clinic they had to do a lot more than just give me antibiotics. No where near as awful as it sounds you went through though.
I’m so glad to hear it all went well. I hope you recover quickly.
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(Sorry I’m so late. I’ve been gone for a couple of days.)
I don’t think you have to worry about prescription drug addiction as long as you stay with one physician only or keep all the physicians you have to deal with up on your current medication. Physicians not only have DEA regs with which they have to deal, but also their local medical societies and other professional organizations have published “standards of care” which include how long and how strong a prescription may be and how often the physician has to personally review your treatment plan and personally examine you.
Limbaugh went to multiple physicians without letting each know about the others and then resorted to illegal sourcing beyond that. He was a “bad patient”, to put it mildly, or a “criminal”, to put it more boldly. You’re nothing like him, and I don’t think either you will abuse your physicians’ trust or your physicians will violate the standards of care and allow you to become addicted. So don’t be Andy Sipowicz and put yourself through unnecessary pain by not taking your meds out of fear of addiction.
My wife had a partial disectemy like 2 years ago to the day. 3 weeks before comic-con and by comic-con she was great. She went like 6 months between rupturing her disk and her surgery. Hopefully you’ll heal just as well, PAD.
I’ve had a lower disk sprain that laid me out for four days and made the next month at work a wonderful experience. I can only imagine that your condition is 100 times worse. People don’t realise how vital the lumbar region is to everyday life until they injure that area. Hope you’re feeling better.
And reflecting on your medication problem – – maybe things like this wouldn’t happen if physicians would write their prescriptions SO THE PHARMACIST COULD ACTUALLY READ THEM.
I love how you mentioned your sword cane. It reminds me of Apropos 🙂
After this tale, I just want to say how good of you it is to honor your con-mitments. I think given the circumstances, everyone would have understood if you canceled.
Way to live up to your already stellar reputation, Cowboy!
While I’m sorry you had do use it, it is somehow fitting that you had a sword can on hand. Glad you’re starting to feel better!
Just a note to say glad to hear you are doing much better now. (Sorry it’s late.)
I also wanted to mention (regarding Doctor names) my general physician’s name is Dr. Gui Nee. (He’s really a good doctor, but he gets tired of people asking why he didn’t go into gynocology.)