“Toy Story 4: Woody Hex”

Posted By: Kathleen DavidPosted On:

You don’t need me to tell you how brilliant “Toy Story 3” was, so I’ll just move right onto my scenario for “Toy Story 4”:

Sid from the original “Toy Story” shows up (all grown up and totally psychotic since the toy-attack incident from the first film) and destroys all of Woody’s toy friends, leaving Woody’s face partly melted. Now it’s up to Woody Hex (and the only other survivor, Buzzeye–Bullseye but with Buzz Lightyear’s head attached)–to track down his friends’ killer and seek vengeance upon him. The climactic sequence when Sid dies from the snake in his boot would be an instant classic.

PAD

21 comments on ““Toy Story 4: Woody Hex””

  1. Nice idea Peter! I would have added the part where he meets a hot but vapid girl with an insanely tight corset!

    Actually Sid has a cameo in Toy Story 3 as the garbage man who’s listening to headphones and picks up the garbage at Andy’s house and later shows up at the dump in the end.

      1. My seven year old caught that and I didn’t. IMDb does list Erik von Detten, the original voice of Sid, as Sid in the new film.

      1. Yeah, I guess I missed that clue too. Man, there are so many things to see in these movies that you can miss!

  2. That is a pretty demented concept: not just for introducing vengeance into the Pixar universe, but also linking a successful franchise with what I’m sure will be a doomed one. (JONAH HEX: Take a less-than-popular comic book character, toss in elements from WILD WILD WEST (retro-futuristic weapons) and THE MISSING (supernatural), and the star of the “hit” JENNIFER’S BODY — and see what happens! Apparently a $6 million opening weekend.) It’d be link FINDING NEMO meets ISHTAR.

    Of course, they could take the TOY STORY franchise in an NC-17 direction just by adding in the toy lines from McFarlane Toys, from movie monsters to Clive Barker-type reimaginings of classic figures. I’d also toss in some of the evil characters from Marvel and DC, plus the pørņ star line, for good measure:

    “I’m Woody the Cowboy!”
    “I’m Pinhead. Your pain is my pleasure.”
    “I’m Viking Spawn. I’m not sure why I exist.”
    [an alien from ALIENS jumps on Buzz Lightyear, popping its second jaw into his helmet repeatedly]
    “I’m the Joker. I could make a lethal toxin out of that Play-Doh and finger paint.”
    [in the background a Batgirl figure moves into the shadows]
    “I’m Dorothy from Oz. Could Slinky guide me around? It’s hard for me to move with this blindfold, corset, platform shoes, and arms tied behind my back.” [If you think I’m kidding, http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2007/08/22/wizard-of-oz-mcfarlane.jpg ]
    “I’m Carnage. Because Venom wasn’t evil enough.”
    “I’m pørņ star Asia Carrera!”
    [Woody shakes her hand, then looks down]
    “I guess ‘Woody’ is just a name…”

    1. That Dorothy figure is disturbing. Not that I necessarily think that you shouldn’t do it or it shouldn’t exist, but what possesses people to want to degrade characters/images from their childhood?

      1. Specific answer first: McFarlane Toys had a huge hit with their horror movie line, so they gradually expanded to other horrific figures: some Clive Barker originals, Zodiac interpretations, and these twisted fairy tales.

        More general answer: Sometimes when something is ridiculously good and wholesome, there’s an impulse to go the other way with it, be it horror, parody, or even homage. ANENUE Q uses Muppet-like figures for some x-rated humor; FABLES often takes quite a different take on classic fairy tales (had the Adversary ever been shown as evil before?); Harlan Ellison did a very x-rated comedy rant using the voices of Disney cartoon characters (and promptly got fired when a Disney exec overheard him); Joseph Michael Linsner (posisbly wrong name; the dude who did CRY FOR DAWN) did x-rated versions of THE LITTLE MERMAID and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST; heck, THE VENTURE BROS. turns the squeaky-clean JONNY QUEST around 180 degrees. And the villains in the 2nd and 3rd

      2. I, on the other hand, managed to give a more adult spin to “Peter Pan” in “Tigerheart” without transforming it into something that its original audience couldn’t enjoy. Part of what makes the characters what they are is the style and content of their original stories. At some point the characters become so far removed that they’re not the characters.
        .
        What’s ironic is that some fans were quick to shout that about my work on the Hulk, even though my work was actually anchored in the character’s roots.
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        PAD

  3. Peter, you really disturb me sometimes.
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    Now excuse me while I return to figuring out how to put more explosions and big bøøbš in my script for the Citizen Kane remake….

    1. Make it soft core pørņ with a free spending, stripper turned mogul, “Citizen Kandy Kane.”
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      PAD

      1. Thank you Peter. I couldn’t not do it after you came up with such a good idea! It’s kind of spartan looking, wished I’d made it more interesting, but sometimes you have to get back to work….

  7. Well my prediction for toy story 4…… A teen age Bonnie babysits for Andy’s kid….

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