PeterDavid.net

There was some discussion among the creators of “Avenue Q” as to whether to make a change in their show since the superintendent of the apartment house is purported to be Gary Coleman.  Would such a portrayal, which at most could be considered bad taste (as one would expect from a show that proclaims the joys of Internet porn), now become something uncomfortable and even distressing?

It turns out…not so much.  Although they excised about twenty words of dialogue (for instance, instead of Gary–who, like Peter Pan, another individual who didn’t quite leave childhood behind, is played by a woman–saying that he’s a “former child star,” he now simply says “child star”) his character remains intact and undaunted by mortality.  Gary Coleman the man may be gone, but “Gary Coleman,” the unstoppable symbol of soldiering on no matter what life hands you, lives on off-Broadway.

PAD

Originally published March 26, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1010

Just to keep you folks on your toes the next few weeks, I’ll be doing a series of shorter items… combining stuff into one column.

Hopefully the variety will be entertaining. At the very least, it should be the spice of life.

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I only had the opportunity to meet Linda a few times, but she was always very sweet and ebullient.  My deepest sympathies go to Mike and his family as they deal with this tragic loss.

PAD

My favorite moment in the original “Avengers” TV series involved a climactic battle wherein Steed and Peel are faced with about nine karate guys who are prepared to beat the crap out of them.  And Steed and Peel get separated by a big sliding iron door, leaving Steed trapped with eight of the guys and Peel gets one.  And it takes Emma, who normally can dispatch this kind of bad guy with alacrity, about five bruising minutes to take the guy out.  It was probably the longest sustained battle against one opponent she ever had, which gives you an idea of just how formidable he was.  And finally, exhausted, she runs to the closed door, punches a button, the door slides open…and Steed (whom we haven’t seen since the door closed) is standing there, leaning on his brolly, his hat firmly in place, calm as anything, and all eight guys are unconscious on the floor.  And her jaw just drops as she realizes that Steed took out, with no effort, eight guys in the time it required her to take down one.  It was one of THE great Steed moments, and I’d love to know which episode it was.

PAD

Originally published March 19, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1009

Delving into the BID mail bag, I found this letter on the top. It’s a polite and respectful missive from Rick in Missouri. Apparently endeavoring to maintain the skeptical nature of the “Show Me” state, Rick–after starting off with a terse “Mr. David” for a salutation, writes (and to be fair to Rick, who has his own writing ambitions, I’m leaving the missing words, misspellings and improper grammar intact):

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Remember the other day when I was live-blogging “Lost” and I kept mentioning the Mets game, which ended with them shutting out the first place Phillies?

Well, apparently they were just getting warmed up.  After having taken two out of three from the Yankees, they wound up shutting out the Phillies three games in a row.  Twenty-seven innings of no-run baseball.  The Mets haven’t shut out a team for an entire series since 1969, when they did it against (wait for it) the Phillies.  They’ve gone from being in the basement to being two games out of first.

Of course, we’ve been at this sort of tipping point for the season before.  The problem is that they then go on the road and promptly get blown out.  They need to prove they can be a formidable team somewhere outside of CitiField.  Now they head off to Milwaukee, so we’ll see if they can get it going against the Brewers.

PAD

Years ago, when my life was falling apart, and I was in as deep a funk as I’ve ever been–when I was so far down that there seemed no up possible, because my (admittedly rocky, but still) marriage had crashed and burned, Bill Mumy said to me, “You know what’s going to happen?  Years from now, you’re going to be lying in bed with another woman, and she’s going to be gorgeous, and you’ll be celebrating your ninth anniversary or something, and all of this stuff you’re feeling right now is going to be a distant memory and nothing more.  It’s going to get better.”

And at the time I thought he was absolutely crazy, because I knew of an absolute certainty that not only would I never love anyone again, but that–far more damning–no one would ever have cause to love me.

And I was wrong and Mumy was right.  And I offer that up as an object lesson for anyone who is feeling down in the dumps, for whatever reason:  A failed marriage,   a failed relationship, any emotional crippling of the soul, can eventually be nothing but a memory.  Especially if you’re lucky enough to find the ideal mate, which I was fortunate enough to do.

I have never been happier, and it’s all because of her.

Happy ninth anniversary, Kathleen.

PAD

Guys:  You gotta cast Kate Jackson as Chuck’s mom.

Not only would she be consistent with your casting of TV greats who came to prominence in the 70s and 80s…not only is she the smartest Angel…but the inevitable episode in which Captain Awesome’s father–Bruce Boxleitner–finally meets his son’s mother-in-law, will be embraced by everyone who has fond memories of “The Scarecrow and Mrs. King” as the “Chuck” of the 1980s.

Let’s all get together on this one, okay?  This isn’t the thread for “I still don’t watch that show” or “Oh, you know who would be better–!”  Indulge me.  Chime in if you agree with me, and that’s it.  And if you do agree, spread the word.  Chuck and Kate, at 8 (7 Central).

PAD

Updated 5/29: Guys, this once, I said that you should only chime in if you agree with me about something. People keep ignoring that, which is frankly pissing me off, because it’s not like I ask for a lot from you. One time–ONE TIME–I said, “Indulge me,” but no. Other names keep being brought up. So I’ve been deleting those posts and will continue to do so. Stop trying to dilute the energy. If you absolutely feel the need to voice your opinion on this, there’s plenty of other boards to do it on.

On the other hand, there’s the season (and nearly series) finale of “Chuck,” the perpetually on-the-bubble series that features product placement so pervasive that it was even the title of the first half of last night’s two-parter:  ”Chuck vs. the Subway.”  But I don’t care.  The symbiotic relationship between Chuckies (my name for fans) and the omnipresent sandwich vendor gave us a third season and may well have contributed to the fourth, so fine.

And when I say “other hand,” I mean that it doesn’t get coverage in multiple news outlets or its own Jimmy Kimmel special.  But the bottom line is that I care far more about what happens to Chuck as an individual than I do about the entirety of the castaways (except maybe Jin and Sun)

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So I’ve had a day to think about it.  Here are my thoughts:

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Originally published March 12, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1008

A tight week, with the combination of a national holiday, personal appearances, and a major novel deadline.

Still, a recent store appearance did provide me with one opening. People asked me how the ol’ barf bag collection was going. So here’s a couple more examples, with more to come later.

Hey, it beats top-10 lists, OK?

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Yes, the old cowboy has decided to live blog the series finale of “Lost.”  So if you’re on the West Coast and just can’t wait for some guy to wreck it for you, then read along below the cut line tonight, starting at 9 PM EST.

PAD

Okay, kids.  After a pretty good 2 hour wrap-up, we’re off and running.

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…and he’s getting sued by a woman named Kelly Van who claims he ripped it off from an on-line book of hers called “Sheila the Warrior:  The Damned”?  Really?

This isn’t exactly Harlan Ellison & Terminator redux.  First of all, not to go all Comic Book Guy, but that is quite possibly one of the worst titles I’ve ever heard, even for on-line.  Sheila the waitress, Sheila the aunt, Sheila the hairdresser, Sheila the paralegal, okay.  Sheila the warrior?  Doesn’t work for me, and tacking on “The Damned” hardly adds gravitas.  It’s right up there with “Romeo and Ethel the Pirate’s Daughter,” and that was a joke.  Second, with all the screamingly obvious predecessors that “Avatar” clearly has, she’s trying to claim he ripped it off from her?  Based on the fact that her protagonist, situated in a mystical place called Tibet (yeah, that’s original), has blue skin and yellow eyes?  Congratulations:  You both ripped off Nightcrawler.

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We took Caroline to see “Shrek: Forever After,” which lacked the charm of the first two films but had a far superior story to the third one.  What we thought was a nice touch–a fitting tribute–was that the part of “the Pied Piper,” which was performed entirely on flute (no spoken words) was played by one Jeremy Steig.  If the name sounds at all familiar, it’s probably because his father was William Steig, a famed author who wrote the book “Shrek!” upon which the entire franchise was based.

PAD

Originally published February 26, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1006

An abbreviated column is required this week, since I am working full-steam on a novel with an iron-clad deadline of February 15th.

The Beauty and the Beast song-lyric spoof seems to have gone over quite well–certainly better than top-10 lists.

So I’ve decided to run another song parody, except that this one was written by yours truly many moons ago. I’m told that it’s actually still sung in some SF circles, although I’ve never heard it myself. Then again, between comic book and Star Trek cons, I don’t get out to too straight SF cons.

At any rate, this is the ideal tune if you happen to be into (a) Doctor Who, (b) Billy Joel, and (c) a capella doo-wop. A bouncy little ditty, sung to the tune of “The Longest Time,” which I call:

“The Lord of Time”

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Just got back into town from my time at Montevideo Comics, a two day celebration of the comic arts in Montevideo, Uruguay.  In addition to my time at the convention, I also lectured on storytelling and did Q&A at several classes on comics and animation.

I want to extend my thanks to the organizers who brought me out there, the American Embassy that oversaw my travel arrangements, and most of all the terrific fans who made me feel more than welcome in their country.  I suppose I should even thank the pickpocket who tried to boost my wallet right out of my jacket while I was at a flea market Sunday, because my description of the incident–including how I nearly broke the guy’s elbow and he sprinted away empty-handed with nothing but a sore arm for his trouble–was a crowd-pleaser when I told it to the fans.

And I have to say, I was blown away by the variety and quality of the South American comic art.  Marvel and DC need to take advantage of the superb talents on that side of the world.  They should be sending editors down there to do portfolio reviews.  Seriously.  Because a lot of these folks deserve to have their talents on wider display.

PAD

So here’s the deal:

We were working out the solicit information for X-Factor #208. Now you know I’ve been making a big deal about X-Factor #207, the issue before that, and been endeavoring to keep a lid on it. However in trying to prep the solicits for #208–both the issue info and the cover–I was left in something of a quandary. If we continue to keep our cards hidden, and write the solicit in the vaguest of terms and make the cover generic, it’s going to be absolutely impossible to get people stoked about what’s happening. I mean, when we did the stuff with the baby and Layla’s return, we could finesse our way around it. This time it’s impossible: All this cool stuff is coming up, and if we don’t say what it is, then there’s nothing to say at all unless we make it sound really, really boring, which it most definitely is not. But the solicit info is going to be publicly available two months before issue #207 hits the stands. What to do, what to do?

So we figured, y’know what? Let’s let people in on it this time. But if anyone’s gonna blow the bit, it’s gonna be me (although Marvel’s signed off on it, don’t worry; I’m not getting into trouble over it.)

So here, below the cut line, two days before the solicit information, is the cover art for X-Factor #208. (more…)

Or at least come back tomorrow (May 16th) about Noon for some really cool news.

And to pass the time I thought I would do an Ask the Wife but just to change things up a bit, I picked a theme.

So ask me questions about Puppets or Puppetry.

Originally published February 19, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1005

No kidding around this time.

No fooling.

This time I’m serious.

This time I’m scared.

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This is Food Allergy Awareness Week.

Until just now, I was unaware of that.

Perhaps last week should have been Food Allergy Awareness Week Awareness Week, in order to promote awareness of Food Allergy Awareness Week.

PAD