Alesse sprang from the couch for the second time in as many paragraphs, clutching her head and blinking back crystal tears by sheer force of stubborn will. That had been a particularly awful anddisjointed image of the future just now. Feathery tendrils of her hair whispered away from delicate, pale fingers as she raised her head and snapped, “Woeisme!”
“Yes, Aunt Alesse?” Woeisme asked in a voice of angelic rhapsody.
“Are you pregnant?” came Alesse’s demand.
“I..WHAT?!” Woeisme spluttered, pale pink blush rose like sunlight upon her alabaster skin, “NO!”
“Good!” snapped Alesse, “And don’t sleep with your brother.” A heavy pause broken by the choking sound of Woisme’s indignation came to a conclusion with Alesse’s final word on the subject, “Ever!”
“I asked you if you could see what Mama and Papa were up to, not come up with the plot for an incestuous fanfic!” Woeisme exclaimed, attempting to change the subject. “It’s bad enough I have all sorts of horrible bëšŧìálìŧÿ references waiting for me without Something Else being brought into the mix.” “Hmm?” hummed Alesse, distracted for a moment by a dust mote floating through the air, “Oh. Your parents.”
“AND Jakob,” glared Woeisme, violet eyes deepening to the color of a perfect twilight sky with ire.
“Like I said.. your parents..” Alesse reiterated with a small, catlike smirk. Catching sight of tremors that warned Woeisme’s perfect cupids-bow of a mouth was about to break out in full wibble, Alesse hastily amended, “They’re fine. Your mother fell out of a treehouse, landing her right smack in the center of attention so.. y’know. She’s good. Edwood and Jakob are once again trying to prove who has the bigger.. er.. love for your mother, and ..uh.. some balding git wearing glasses fell out of a tree and landed on a rather dashing young man who was wearing a purple wifebeater and black vinyl pants.”
Woeisme blinked her jewel-like eyes, the perfect wings of her brow drawing together in the faintest of puzzlements,”Who’re they?”
Alesse snorted, an unnaturally loud and indelicate sound coming from her petite, waiflike form, “With the number of random people who’ve popped in and out of this story, you expect me to keep track? Hëll if I know. They must be important, though. They’re in the same chapter as the main characters.”
“See if you can find out?” implored Woeisme beseechingly.
“I have a headache,” groused Alesse, examining the bright red lacquer of her fingernails so as not to meet her niece’s eyes.
“Pleeeeeeeease?” whispered Woeisme. Alesse winced, knowing what was coming but fighting it to the last moment. “Don’t you.. love me?” Woeisme asked in a hushed, vulnerable tone, looking up at her aunt through long black lashes.
“Oh, all right! I’ll do it. You can stop that now,” Alesse groused, unable to withstand the threat of being engulfed in a wave of purple prose. As Woeisme clapped her small white hands in glee,
Alesse’s eyes dilated, gaze turning inward, as she tried to see what would happen next.
• 
Ah-hah! Nice retcon, worked really well. I also always love whenever some character gets all metatextual.
Thanks. The prior chapter’s plot tesseract-without-a-warning really threw me off. I think I get points (or… points taken away?) for having the first chapter that doesn’t even mention potatoes.