Originally published July 3, 1992
There are three sets of slogans I’m starting to look forward to.
The first is the new slogan the Mets develop every year, each time trying to ignore the previous year and instead proclaim how dynamite the new team is going to be. This year’s is “Hardball is Back”…which offers the unfortunate implication that last year they were playing softball, or perhaps even wiffleball. Now last year the team was laughable; this year they’ve got the highest payroll in baseball and, as of this writing, are coming across not much different from last year…plus there were all those wonderful allegations about sexual impropriety to sour the season’s start. I suggest the slogan be changed to, “More Money, Less Funny.”
The second new slogan I always enjoy is whatever the networks develop for their fall season line-up. As the big three hemorrhage viewership, they still manage to think up some catchy new saying to proclaim how wonderful things are. (My favorite was “Our Pride is Showing,” which sounds like something a flasher might say. Or perhaps that might be a good gag ad for Excalibur…Nightcrawler yanks open the shower curtain on Kitty and, as she desperately tries to cover up, a la Sally Kellerman from “M*A*S*H,” Kurt proclaims, “Our Pryde is Showing!”)
And the third slogan is the one that comes along once very four years. It’s not a word-for-word slogan, actually, so much as a state of mind. And that state of mind is what the Republican and Democratic parties develop for their presidential campaign.
The Democrats don’t really develop one, actually. What happens is, the G.O.P. comes up with something, and the Democrats basically react by saying, “That’s stupid.”
But the G.O.P. finally realized four years ago that the Democrats were essentially rolling along on the philosophy of “We’re Not Them,” and played it to fine advantage. They seized on such non-issues as Willie Horton and the Pledge of Allegiance, and proclaimed that they were against murder and for patriotism.
This neatly boxed in the Democrats, because the traditional pattern was that whatever the G.O.P. was for (privilege for the rich, for example) the Democrats were automatically against, and vice versa. So accustomed was the electorate to this mindset, that it came across as if the Dems were in favor of murder and against patriotism…which is nonsense, of course, but the G.O.P. had a field day with it. Bush sailed into (or back into) the White House, rising above the Iran/Contra questions and Reaganomics and showing how tough he was by beating up on newsmen who were asking simple questions (which, as Garry Trudeau pointed out, Bush never answered).
I eagerly awaited this year’s salvo, and was not disappointed.
The Republication national slogan this year is “Family Values.” I suspect that at the national convention, the official song will be “We are Family.”
Dan Quayle, who is to the vice presidency what Adam West is to the superhero community, fired the first salvo, launching an attack on a well-known Democrat named Brown. The logical assumption would be that it was Jerry, but no, that’s a dead issue. No, Quayle attacked a fictional newswoman, whose program he’d never watched, saying that it was wrong to “glorify” single mothers.
The implication is that single motherhood is something for which a woman should be castigated. The administration has certainly provided the political equivalent of scarlet letters for those women, first by continuing to avoid providing any economic relief, and second by “punishing” potential single mothers by trying to make abortion so forbidden that medical personnel can’t even talk about it.
Quayle went so far as to imply that the L.A. riots were caused by a lack of family values. Crazy me. I thought they
came about because five white cops beat up a black guy and were found not guilty. Curiously, no one that I know of has checked to find out how many of those cops were fathers and part of a nuclear family. That would be worth exploring, I’d think.
My favorite moment was in a subsequent speech when he declared that Hollywood “just doesn’t get it.” Of all people to comment that someone else doesn’t “get it.”What’s wonderfully ironic is that Quayle’s position was not
only quaint, but, considering his upbringing, understandable. What he was basically saying was, “This country’s in trouble because there aren’t enough dads. We need more dads. Because dad will make everything all right.”
After all, he didn’t hold up for scorn all those fathers who run out on their families. He ignored the fact that many kids
being raised by struggling single moms are happy their fathers aren’t around, because their fathers were abusive and even dangerous. No, he attacked a high-profile fictional character whose sweats and grunts as she labored to beat out her biological clock were witnessed by 37 million viewers.
Why shouldn’t Quayle have that attitude? His dad helped keep him out of Vietnam. Therefore if all these single mothers would allow dads to come in and run things for them, everything would be allllll better. Just like “Ozzie and Harriet.” It’s what he grew up with. It’s what he knows.
The funny thing, really, is that Quayle is basically being used as the lightning rod. It’s clear that he was shot into
target space as the G.O.P. clay pigeon (“Pull!” Blam!) so that they could launch this year’s slogan without any of the initial incredulity falling squarely on Bush.
Now what it does do, if anyone gives it any thought, is perpetuate the attitude that this administration has consistently
put across, which is that it’s not an administration for all the people, but instead only for those people whose morals or
philosophies they approve of.
We’ve seen this before. Bush blowing off anyone who didn’t approve of operation Desert Storm, saying that essentially those who didn’t like it numbered so few that they didn’t count. Bush trying to stack the Supreme Court so that they’ll overturn Roe v. Wade while, at the same time, making no concerted effort to help those women who would not be able to get abortions should that eventuality occur.
And now this latest: Single mothers don’t make good role models. If a woman was dumb enough to get herself pregnant, or a lousy enough wife to let her husband get away, then she deserves what she gets, right?
Geez.
Bush and Quayle better hope like hëll that single mothers, struggling to provide enough income to feed their children,
exhausted from running on the treadmill of their day-to-day existence, are too fatigued to show up at the polls on election day. Because while the administration is busy passing out moral judgments, they may not be too thrilled over the judgment passed on them.
Now…
What does all of this have to do with comics?
Well…admittedly…not much.
Particularly since the majority of comics that I write are for Marvel, and Marvel has a somewhat unofficial policy that
tries to avoid giving their characters any sort of serious political affiliation or beliefs.
Or religious for that matter. I caused a mild editorial stir when I decided, for story purposes, that it would be a kick
to establish that Doc Leonard Samson was Jewish (“Can we do that?” asked the assistant editor at the time).
The reasoning for this is that the characters should have as broad an appeal as possible, and that the moment you officially establish someone as holding any sort of political affiliation, you risk alienating any readers who might hold contrary views.
This, to me, is somewhat dull. Because I think that one of the things that gives a character depth and resonance is the
manner in which he or she views the world. How they would react to certain issues. Whom they would vote for.
It can be a really fun writing exercise if you put your mind to it. Once I was at lunch with Bobbie Chase and related to her how I was having discussions on a computer board about the probable political affiliations of the characters I write. And Bobbie laughed and made it clear that she thought it was kind of silly to be discussing the philosophies of fictional characters so seriously (this was before Dan Quayle raised the pastime to a national level).
And then Bobbie thought about it a moment and said, with genuine curiosity, “So what do you think Bruce is?”‘ This, then, for the record, is where the cast of The Incredible Hulk stands, politically:
Bruce Banner: Democrat. Utterly disdainful of side issues, such as sexual imbroglios, and wishes that more emphasis was placed on issues. Not a big fan of the Republican administration. Despite the fact that Reagan pardoned him, Bruce now views that as a move to curry his appreciation and distract him from the fact that the government was stockpiling gamma bombs. Watches “The McLaughlin Group” and has a habit of shouting “Wrong!” at the TV screen.
Betty Banner: Republican. Despite the fact that Betty did not exactly get along with her father, the fact that she spent much of her life in the staunch Republican environment of her father (who didn’t think much of Truman but adored Eisenhower, and was of the firm opinion that Nixon was railroaded) has irrevocably shaped her worldview. When Bruce and Betty go to the polls, they cancel each other out.
Rick Jones: Independent. Didn’t used to vote or even care until he hung out with Captain America, who made him feel guilty about it. Has never voted for a winning candidate, because he is always drawn to the underdog. Votes for whoever he thinks is cool. Will most likely go for Perot this year, although he was impressed at Clinton’s musical prowess on Arsenio and might be swayed if Clinton is willing to jam with the musical group
“Seduction of the Innocent.”
Marlo Chandler: Doesn’t vote. Her disenchantment with the political process began when someone tried to explain the electoral college and she just didn’t get it. Her knowledge of the candidates is drawn from what she reads in supermarket tabloids. Hazy on real world politics, Marlo remains unable to reconcile Kevin Costner’s stated belief in Bull Durham that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone with Costner’s later actions in JFK. Doesn’t take the political scene all that seriously although she does get wrapped up in the soap opera elements of it. Might have
been motivated to vote for Gary Hart because she thought he was sooooo cute, but never had the opportunity. Knows that she doesn’t like Quayle because she was raised in a single-mother household and didn’t appreciate his remarks.
So there you have it. In the Marvel Universe, if the election develops into a really tight race, the entire future of
the electorate could rest in the hands of: Rick Jones.
Sleep well, America.
(Peter David, writer of stuff, was watching “Romancing the Stone” the other day and cracked up at a line of dialogue that didn’t mean much back then, but is now wonderfully ironic for any comic fan. If you spotted it, too, write to “I Spotted It,” c/o “To Be Continued, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, New York 11705.)
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I have to thank Dan Quayle. I was 17 and a huge Murphy Brown fan when he made the speach. I had no interest in politics before that and once he made his little family values speach…I got curious. I started to read up on and investigate my politicians. I came out of the closet and helped Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth. Thanks Quayle.
So what was the line in Romancing the Stone? I haven’t seen it since it came out, so any memories of it are *really* hazy.
I also remember the fallout, both fictional and real, that “moment in history” caused. The Murphy Brown writers incorporated it into their “continuity” and Dan Quale said “Murphy Brown, you owe me big time!” Fiction & fact were blurred again!
Thanks for the trip down memory lane where you list party affiliations of the cast of “The Hulk.” I slightly disagree with Peter’s assessment of Betty Ross due to personally witnessing a number of women, real AND fictional, who directly rebelled against their fathers’ conservative politics. An episode of “Will & Grace” immediately comes to mind where the son of one of Will’s clients dressed up as Nixon for Halloween and Grace said “My father voted for you” and “I’m a Democrat.”
I think PAD’s reasoning on Betty works well. It’s not a hard and fast rule, some kids will rebel against their father, some not.
Many won’t even question it. I’ve seen a couple interviews with Megan McCain recently. She doesn’t agree with the official Republican party position on many social issues. She says she doesn’t know enough about economics to have opinions about that. So basically she has no strong agreement with the Republican party, but she’s still enthusiastically Republican. Her father definitely influenced her towards the party.
There are plenty of examples of people who had the opposite reaction to their parents, but there are plenty more who are the same as John McCain and Betty Banner. Both sides will site their parents as influences, despite getting different results.
Interesting point regarding how the daughter of a Republican presidential candidate could be against the party line but still be Republican. While that scenario is completely legitimate since politics is the McCain’s “family business,” I would think that the situation between The Late “Thunderbolt” Ross and Betty Ross-Talbot-Banner would be completely different since it involves a general and his civilian daughter who were at loggerheads on many subjects. Why should politics not be included with them?
My parents are both Democrats. They had four kids, two of which became Democrats and two became Republicans (until the last few years, but still, the initial choice was counter to my parents).
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There’s no hard and fast rule. Two different people will do completely different things in the same situation, while both of them say their decision was obviously the right one. I’ve know people who hated their parents and tried to be different from then. I’ve known people who hated their parents and yet did everything exactly the same as their folks.
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So the question “Why should politics not be included with them?” has no one right answer. It varies from person to person.
Don’t you think you were being a bit hard on Marlo there?
heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh…you said hard on…heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
PAD,
What are the current political views of X-Factor’s member?
heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh…you said member…heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
(Can’t let Alan have all teh fun)
That’ll show me not to write on blogs while at work.
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HAH!
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Lots of interesting stuff in that column, especially when you see that 16 years on, “family values” is still one of the core taglines of the GOP. Not to mention that many of those 16 years had the Dems scrambling to find a message to oppose the GOP. Or Bush blowing people off for a war… like son like father.
So what was the Romancing the Stone line.?
The thing about comic book characters (and for that matter, many fictional characters) is that because they’re either so two-dimensional, or because they’re tabula rasas politically, you could write them either way. It would just as easy to write Betty as a Democrat (rebellion from her father), Bruce as a Libertarian (the guy who used to build bombs for the government and was turned into a monster because of a spy the government didn’t detect is is now on the run from the government gloms onto a philosophy that thinks governments are generally incompetent, bureaucratic, and should be limited in their power), Rick as a non-voter (no explanation needed) Marlo as a Democrat (she’s easily influenced by celebrities, like Jane Fonda, of whom she has an immense workout tape collection), etc. Hëll, you could even make General Ross an independent or vote Democrat, for the same reason all those generals supported Obama.
It can go any way.
Fictional characters are like people you don’t know very well. If you meet someone new, your first impression of the personality won’t be enough to tell you if they’re Republican or Democrat unless them mention something that makes it obvious. Over time, you learn new things about a person and you remember those facts.
Just like with new people, new facts get revealed over time. At this point it would make perfect sense for Green Arrow to be revealed as an environmentalist, given his long establishment as a liberal. A writer could say that he doesn’t care about the environment at all, but they’d need to put a little work into selling it to the readers. A newer character wouldn’t require that extra effort because there wouldn’t be anything to contradict it.
The Romancing the Stone line was along the lines of “Let’s get out of here before Batman gets back,” delivered either to or by Danny DeVito. (This column was written around the time of Batman Returns.)
I’d love to see the scene of Rick Jones getting guilt-tripped by Cap over not voting. That’d be genius.
I always imagine that for stuff like that, Cap doesn’t actually say much, if anything. The other person just explains their position while Cap listens quietly. Then Cap just looks at them with with mild disappointment and they admit their mistakes.
So Cap is like the crying indian in that ad? Sweet.
So Cap is like the crying Indian in that ad?
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Cap’s Italian?
I believe he means Chief Iron Eyes Cody in that “People cause pollution! People can STOP it!” commercial. Unlike “Chief Jay Strongbow,” Iron Eyes wasn’t Italian!
Anyone who remembers that commercial from when it first came out is old. That includes me.
Unlike “Chief Jay Strongbow,” Iron Eyes wasn’t Italian!
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I hate to be the one to break the news…
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On the other hand, he was so effective that I think he ended up being made an honorary Indian by some tribe. He married a native American woman and adopted two Indian sons. But, strictly speaking, he was actually Espera DeCorti, born of Italian immigrants.
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Now, what’s this nonsense about Chief jay Strongbow??? I suppose you’ll be telling me that his Shark Cage match with Bulldog Don Kent was fixed or something.
And for the “young whippersnappers” who don’t, here’s a link to YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7OHG7tHrNM
Actually, he was Italian…but he was so good at being an Indian that he was accepted by most Native Americans for the good he did in embracing their culture.
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Now, what’s this about Chief jay Strongbow???
Sad but true, Bill. The guy was born as one Joe Scarpa.
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David S., Iron Eyes Cody was really an Italian actor named Espera de Corti</I? who was the son of Antonio de Corti and his wife, Francesca Salpietra, immigrants from Sicily. The guy has something like two or three hundred film roles to his credit but is best known for the “Don’t pollute” commercial.
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You can even look him up on IMDB.
I suppose you’ll be telling me next that Andre’s last name wasn’t “The Giant” either.
Of course it’s not. ‘The’ was the man’s middle name.
Ah, well, that makes sense. Not like naming your kid “Lou Gehrig” when you know that disease is out there. Just asking for trouble.
I’ve seen worse. Some poor girl out there was actually named after a rehab clinic. What kind of parents would do that?
I happened to know that Chief Jay Strongbow was really Italian due to talking about it with a friend of mine who was a wrestling fan and I was responding to the earlier comment that Iron Eyes was really Italian, a fact that I was admittedly ignorant of. For the posters who weren’t yanking my chain, here’s a Wikipedia link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Scarpa
I just had a mental image of the Hulk voting for Ralph Nader solely because he was running as the GREEN Party… I now wanna see a picture of Hulk squeezed into a voting booth.
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HULK SMASH PUNY DANGLING CHAD!
I live in the congressional district of Indiana that gave Quayle his start in national politics, and am rather nostalgic about him these days. Remember when we were happy that a dimbulb like him wasn’t president?
Those were good days.
My favorite Quayle moments were ones that most people seem to have missed. The second one is kinda understandable though.
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Quayle was being interviewed on (I believe) Fox News about the then wide open field of Republicans competing for the presidential nomination to run against Gore. He got the standard ‘Who do you think has the best chance of winning? question, looked dead into the camera with his most serious look and said in a very forceful tone of voice that it didn’t matter because no matter who got the nod they would be able to beat Bill Clinton…
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Who wasn’t running in 2000.
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The other was just one of those odd things. After Bush lost the election he was getting the press mob treatment and they were asking him what he would do with his time now that he was no longer the leader of the free world. He told them that he might go camping, do a little fishing and maybe some hunt some quail. Just something that I thought was funny at the time.
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“He told them that he might go camping, do a little fishing and maybe some hunt some quail.”
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So he was gonna go shoot his lawyer?
… it didn’t matter because no matter who got the nod they would be able to beat Bill Clinton…
Sad to say, that makes sense under the circumstances. They positioned themselves as running against Bill Clinton in 2000, 2002, 2004, 2006, and 2008. If McCain had won they’d probably do it in 2010 & 2012 too.
Interesting column (it’s nice to see some of the ones not already reprinted in the BID book.) I’m a little surprised that you suggest “Thunderbolt” Ross would be anti-Truman; I’d have thought he’d like a President whose motto was “The Buck Stops Here”.
Nicely spotted on him being pro-Eisenhower, though. Ross would probably have fought in WWII, and given that he’s a general in the early 1960s, it’s not too much of a stretch to imagine that he’d served under Eisenhower in some capacity. And of course, Nixon was Eisenhower’s VP, so I can see him retaining some loyalty there (although even a lot of Nixon’s staunch supporters believed that he probably knew what was going on.)
Some Hulk fans probably recall, it is Marvel “canon” that Betty “broke GOP ranks for the first time in years” when she voted for Bill Clinton in 1996.
AHA! Take THAT, Jason BRYANT!
Thank you, Jason POWELL!