“Here I come to save the day, Edwood Sullen’s on his way!” sang out a perfect voice, on perfect key, with flawless accuracy as Edwood swept down from the skies, looking like the perfect prince. All he needed was a white horse to complete the look.
Bela swooned as she watched the love of her life strike a perfect pose. “Sparkle…power…make up,” he said, as he began to twinkle like a star that he was. “I will save you from the evil threat.” A spotlight seemed to shine mysteriously on him, from the heavens.
“Oh, Edwood, you’re so handsome,” Bela swooned. “You’re such a spud!” A flurry of hearts seemed to appear in her eyes. “If only we could be together forever.”
Jakob stared. “Didn’t you say our relationship issues needed to be put aside?” he asked. He was starting to wish her single brain was as large as her…twin potatoes. “There’s a battle going on!”
Edwood elegantly looked away, sparkling like the Koi I Nor diamond. “Do not look at me, for I am a monster.” His voice was like a Philharmonic symphony, in perfect tone and melodious.
Jakob nodded. “He sorta is, you know,” he said, still wondering why Bela couldn’t prefer a guy who didn’t lust after her heart. “And shouldn’t you try and stop the fight?”
“Oh, Edwood, you’re no monster. You’re so perfect; you make humans look gross and disgusting. You’re so noble not to eat them but just to sneer at how vapid they are,” Bela said, her heart beating in her ears and throat and nose. “How I wish I was worthy of you!”
“You know, we do have a battle, can’t this wait just a bit?” Jakob asked.
“But I might hurt you!” Edwood declared, a perfect copper curl falling into his eyes. He was so perfect that if you looked away from him, you were wasting your time. “How I wish I was worthy of you. You’re so flimsy, I could snap you like a twig if I sneezed on you!”
“If you don’t save those people, a lot more would be hurt, starch for brains,” Jakob snapped, wondering if he could just kick Edwood in the potatoes to get him moving.
“You could never hurt me,” Bela swooned, a single tear falling from her eyes. “Your love for me is more golden than Yukon gold. I would trust you with my life!”
“With plenty of cheese,” Jakob mumbled. “Could we concentrate on the battle?”
“You are my life, Bela mia,” Edwood said. “You are so sweet, you’re as good as watching myself in the mirror.”
Jakob sighed. He would save the day and most likely Edwood would save the day. “Manly, Wolfy Warm power!” he howled as he flew into the fray. With any luck, the Potatoe king would mash Edwood, leaving Bela on the rebound!
• 
You just had Edwood quote Sailor Moon.
I am in awe, sir.
Edwood can fly now? Neat!
“He was starting to wish her single brain was as large as her…twin potatoes.”
“wondering if he could just kick Edwood in the potatoes to get him moving.”
Haha, awesome.