“You know,” Jakob growled, still holding her as he ran full-force through the woods, “if you had just dumped Edwood in book two, none of this would be happening right now! But no-o! You had to fly across the ocean and stop him!”
“How dare you tell me what I should and should not do!” Bela shouted back, struggling to get out of his grip. “He was going to kill himself over his love for me! I had to stop him! We were meant to be!”
Jakob held her tighter. “Edwood’s nothing but trouble!”
“Speak for yourself!”
Jakob skidded to a halt. He placed Bela down on a fallen tree log, then turned away. Her words just then… Jakob pictured Edwood in his mind, the way he looked on his and Bela’s wedding day. It was the most heart wrenching day in Jakob’s life. In his anger, he crushed Cheney’s potato gun like a pop can between his giant paws, then threw it as far as he could. It hit a distant tree and fell to the ground in a mangled mess. Jakob closed his eyes tightly, took a deep breath, and morphed back into his human form. He turned towards his first love. “I still love you, too, my sweet Bela,” he said, the words almost painful to speak. “Everything I’ve done is out of my love for you.”
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You’ve done a bang-up job of it,” she snorted.
“How can you say that?” Jakob asked, his voice soft. “What about our time together? Didn’t our friendship mean anything to you?”
Bela looked him dead in the eyes. “My true love had just dumped me. You were the rebound.”
Her words were sharper than daggers. “But—”
“I don’t understand why you keep trying to pin this back on me,” Bela continued. “You’re betrothed to my daughter. You know, the one who was crawling yesterday and going through puberty today?”
“But it’s you, Bela, that I love.”
“You fell in love with Woey the day she was born. Can’t you just wait a couple more days until she looks legal enough?”
Jakob shook his head. “You don’t… understand. It’s you who is as beautiful as a potato. It’s you who reminds me of its splendor, its sweetness. Not Woeisme.”
“So, what, my daughter is like a box of potato flakes?”
Jakob was taken aback. “Are you making fun of my love for you?”
Bela gave Jakob a ‘Who? Me?’ look. She sighed, then apologized. “Look, Jakob. It never would have worked between us. When are you going to accept it and move on? When are you going to realize that Woeisme is the one you’re meant to be with? It’s your destiny to save her from the Potatoe King.”
“Woey’s not… you.”
“She’s the best you’re going to get. After all, she was born to shut the fangirls up.”
Jakob cocked an eyebrow.
“So,” Bela asked, “where does this leave us?”
—
• 
Loving it all, and anxiously waiting my turn.
And on that subject PAD, maybe you could post in the comments a list of the next two or three people to be called up, so that we have a little bit of a head’s-up, or if we’re going to have to miss our turn we can tell you ahead of time. Just a thought.
I asked PAD something like that awhile ago. He said that he doesn’t want to publicly publish names because that might put uncomfortable pressure on anyone who isn’t able to participate.
It’s what Jason said. I’ve had several people so far unable to participate, one because he simply wasn’t around (Manfred, which he mentioned publicly already) and several who either had nothing in the tank or suddenly came down with a bad case of stage fright.
.
PAD
However, missing my turn is forcing me to step up my game and change several ideas.
NO! You destroyed my beloved Potato Gun. There will be blood for this, Jenifer Volpe. POTATO BLOOD!
I nominate this as Potato Moon’s theme song:
http://www.rockcookiebottom.com/post/108347119/135-is-a-request-from-superduperman-about-a?dsq=9377396#comment-9377396
It’s not an exact fit, but how many songs are there about potatoes?
Personally, this is my potatoe song of choice:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYKuirTH6cI
Beat me to it. ManyMany years ago, my first wife and i went to see the Monkees (minus Nesmith) at Chastain Park in Atlanta.
Al was the opening act. For “Addicted to Spuds”, he had several girls with great legs faking guitar and dancing – like the original “Addicted to Love” video… In potato costumes.
“Born to shut the fangirls up.” Heh. Very astute. I like how the characters jump in and out of being aware they’re in a story.