“Edwood, why are you sparkling at night?” Woeisme asked.
“Oh, sorry,” Edwood said, and took off his sequined jacket. “I’m not going to let you have her, Quayle,” Edwood growled. “She’s my daughter. And she’s Jakob’s… something.”
“What?” Something asked.
“Not you.” Edwood rolled his eyes.
“You can’t stop me. I have waited years for my plans to come to fruition, and without your beloved Bela here–”
“Blah, blah, evil plans, blah, blah,” Something said. “When are you going to realize–”
“What’s that about Bela?” Quayle asked intently.
“He said ‘blah’ not ‘Bela’! Stop adding ‘e’s to everything!” Edwood snarled. He nodded to Something. “Get your sister. We’re out of here.”
Flutie stepped forward, the other werewolves forming up behind him. “What makes you think you can get past us?”
“Oh, maybe the giant snake behind you,” Edwood said.
“Snake? You think we’re going to fall for that? Besides, that was the other guy–Oh no, get away! Help me, hel–!” Flutie screamed as his paw was bit off by the giant snake that had snuck down from the rafters. The snake then made quick work incapacitating the other werewolves. As Edwood and Something watched, the snake began to change form.
“Glad you could join the party, Jakob,” Something said. “Looks like you’re getting better control of your shapeshifting.”
Edwood was both glad and wary of his revived rival’s arrival which allowed their survival. “Why didn’t you just kill the werewolves?” Edwood challenged.
“Rule #3,” Jakob replied.
“Oh, of course,” Edwood realized.
Knowing he was outnumbered, Quayle retreated to the back door. “You’ve won this battle, meddling teenagers, but I will win the war! Oh woe is me, Woeisme, I will have my Potatoe Queen!” Quayle vanished in a flash of light and a smell of burned potatoes.
“Let’s get back to your house, Jakob,” Edwood said.
On the way, Edwood pondered his encounter with Quayle. Something seemed familiar. Then he remembered–
(SFX: Flashback “WHOOSH” sound)
“You say vam-pire.”
“You say vam-pyr.”
In unison, with rage as they were now fully into their first fight ever, “Let’s call the whole thing off!”
(End flashback “WHOOSH” sound)
“Oh, no. He was controlling things even back then,” Edwood pondered, amazed.
“What do you mean?” Woeisme asked.
“Quayle. He’s been influencing Bela all along. Our first fight was over pronunciation. I say vampyr, Bela says vampire. Don’t you see? SHE ADDED AN ‘E’! It’s Quayle, trying to keep us apart!”
“Whoa… but why?” Something wondered. “Quayle did seem wary of Bela. And I seem to recall from school that Quayle was actually Vice President, not just a candidate as he said. What does it all mean?”
“I don’t know, but I think the answer lies back at the Blaq house, with Bela,” Edwood intoned omniously.
“Can we stop for french fries first?” Woeisme asked.
“Sure.”
• 
I think this chapter got the most laughs out of me. Funny stuff.
Oh, my God, I think I’m going to hurt myself laughing!
This is awesome!
As the writer of the flashbacked to scene, I should note that I never even considered the possibility of Quayle influence. : -)
Btw, Danny boy’s current job? Chairman of Global Investments at Cerberus Capital, most recently in the news due to their having bought out Chrysler a few years back in what’s turned out to be a rather terrible investment.
having bought out Chrysler a few years back in what’s turned out to be a rather terrible investment.
Or maybe all part of the Potatoe King’s master plan?
I like how Rule #3 was invoked with just incapacitating the werewolves. It’s like in Terminator 2 when Arnold kneecaps everybody and simply says: “He’ll live.”
Is there actually a Rule #3?
Yes, back in the initial rules PAD announced:
Potato Moon Rising
Thanks for the kind words all, and thanks, Tom, for the few lines I borrowed. 🙂
Corey
Wow. Duh. I kept trying to think if there was ever a movie that laid out rules for Werewolves or something.
That’s really meta.