“POTATO MOON” Rising

Well, she’s at it again, and this time, I’m going to have some fun.

Several months ago a fan whose name I’m not even going to bother to mention declared she was going to write and publish her own sequel to “Twilight” entitled “Russet Noon.” Recently she has put forward a new treatise explaining just why copyright is meaningless. The reason is—get this—“The origin of all characters is the Shared Mind, the only mind that truly exists. Our minds are all one single ocean of shared memories, fantasies, dreams, nightmares and visions.”

Citing Edward Cullen, Harry Potter and Anakin Skywalker as examples of characters who are merely “plugged in” to archetypes and thus have no originality and therefore no entitlement to legal protection, she goes on to assert, “Laws that attempt to privatize the ownership of characters operate based on a delusion of separateness that we all share in this matrix we call reality. But according to Eckart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, there is no such a thing as separate minds. There is only one Universal Mind and it is the source of all our thoughts.”

You can read the rest of this New Age tripe here if you’re so inclined.

Now the first thing that occurred to me is that there is simply no way that I’m taking any part of the rap for Jar Jar Binks. And then I thought, Y’know what? There is, in fact, a universal mind. A hive mind, if you will. It’s called the Internet.

So let’s unleash the hive on the concept of a sequel to the “Twilight” series.

This is going to be entirely satirical, and thus legitimately protected by copyright. In honor of the woman who has inspired this, the title will be “Potato Moon” (since when I hear russet I tend to think of spuds rather than the color.) The first chapter will be written by my daughter, “Twilight” fan Ariel David (with a slightly snarky polish by me.) Just as its inspiration is supposed to be, it will be a sequel to “Twilight” written from the point of view of the werewolf character (at least to start out). The cover (created by Glenn) will be posted on line on Wednesday to whet your appetite and the first chapter will go live Friday at 9 AM. And everyone and anyone is invited to participate in the ensuing round robin.

Here are the rules:

1) If you wish to participate, send an e-mail saying, “I want in!” to an account I’ve set up just for this: peterallendavid_at_gmail.com . Participation will be strictly on a first come, first served basis. When it’s your turn to present your entry, I will contact you and you will have twenty-four hours to send it in. If you’re unable to participate in that 24 hour period, your name will be dropped to the end of the list.

2) Submissions must be between two hundred and five hundred words. No strong profanity (hëll and dámņ are acceptable) and no explicit sex.

3) This is basically improv. In improv, you must build upon what’s gone before and leave something for someone else to build upon. No fair suddenly saying, “Meanwhile, in Europe, a small boy was born” and go off on a complete tangent that has nothing to do with anything. No killing off someone else’s characters; you can introduce and knock off your own, but that’s it. You can end with characters endangered in a cliffhanger, but you don’t get to say, “And then the sun went nova, The End.”

4) Chapters will not be edited beyond the parameters of what I’ve outlined above. I reserve the right to reject your submission as a whole if it does not follow the rules.

5) All names are to be changed to protect the innocent and respect the copyright. “Jacob” is going to be “Jakob.” “Bella” will be “Bela.” “Edward” will be “Edwood” (like that one? My idea.) If you introduce new characters who are parodies of other Stephenie Meyer characters…or for that matter anyone else’s characters…names must be changed. So if you want to see Edwood whipped by Fluffy the Vampire Flayer, this is the place to do it.

6) This will go on for as long as there seems to be a good deal of interest. Ariel and I will write the final chapter whenever we decide it’s time to end it.

7) This is a 100% not-for-profit venture. I personally am never going to publish this as a single collection. The individual submissions remain the property of the individual writers. However if, when this thing is done, I am approached by a publisher who wants to produce it as a not-for-profit collection with 100% of all monies collected donated to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, I reserve the right to make that deal. (I was originally just going to say, “This will never be published ever,” but I just know people were then going to say, “But wouldn’t it be great for a charity thing?” So I’m leaving myself that option. If you don’t want to participate because of that, I totally understand.)

8) Knowledge of, or familiarity with, “Twilight” is not only unnecessary, but lack of knowledge is probably preferable. If, on the other hand, you want to do some research, and can’t bring yourself to read them, you can go here.

So get ready. Friday at 9 AM, “Potato Moon” will rise.

PAD

87 comments on ““POTATO MOON” Rising

  1. very bad persons, play something and pass time with your family do something important with your lifes. what do you win doin parodies like stupid fools on internet. you suck!

  2. So PAD, how many people signed up to participate? Rough estimate is fine.

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