PeterDavid.net

I think we should try to determine when, exactly, the Bush presidency jumped the shark.

I know it seems as if it was just a long stretch of escalating incompetency, and there’s a temptation to say it jumped the shark when the Supreme Court handed him the keys to the kingdom. But of all the screw-ups, remarkably bad photo ops, incoherence (as Ariel pointed out, when you can make a 365 day calendar consisting of one stupid thing every single day that one guy said, that’s pretty bad), was there one moment frozen in time, one particular instance, where his administration–clad in trunks and hurtling forwarded pulled by a motorboat–vaulted over a pool of sharks and never came back?

PAD

The usher looked at my ticket, blinked, looked back at me, back down at the ticket, back at me, and said, “The Spirit? Really?” Then he rolled his eyes, shrugged in a “it takes all kinds” manner and tore my ticket.

As bad omens go, the only thing that could have been worse would have been discovering Mike Nelson, Crow, and Tom Servo sitting in the front row.

The thing with Frank Miller is this: He’s a power hitter. He takes huge swings for the fences every time out. If he connects, he drives it out of the park. The problem with power hitters is that they strike out. A lot. And when they do, it can be monumental to watch. They don’t just stand there and watch a ball whiz by on the outside corner with their bat on their shoulder. No, they take huge hacks at it, swinging from the heels, and when they miss, they spin around, their legs twisted in knots and crossed at the ankles, and sometimes even fall flat on their ass.

That’s pretty much what we’ve got here. A huge swing and a miss.

The truth is that, if you come at it from the point of view of viewing it as a surrealist comedy, it can be pretty entertaining. I’m going to focus on the positive aspects because (a) I am friends with most of the producers on the film, and (b) everyone else is dumping on Frank, so why pile on?

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Kim Metzger pointed this out to me; I thought I’d share it with you guys.

PAD

Caroline is watching “Alvin and the Chipmunks” on cable at the moment, and I decided to check and see if the sequel I’d heard about was actually happening. I looked it up on Wikipedia and here’s the actual, honest-to-God entry:

A sequel to Alvin and the Chipmunks (introducing the Chipettes) was confirmed. It is set to be released on Christmas Day 2009 and is named Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakuel.[1] On July 28, it was confirmed that Matt Stow will return as Dave Seville and Michael Jackson, Alan Jackson, and John McCain will return as the voices of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore[5]. Details on who the Chipettes will be are unknown, but rumored to be Brad Dourif (Brittany), Anselmo Dejusus (Jeanette), and Barack Obama (Eleanor). In the sequel, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore go to school and feel like “Chipmunks Out of Water” because of all the human kids eating them.

You know what? If that was the sequel and who was in it, I’d be there on opening day.

PAD

Majel Barrett passed away today of leukemia, surrounded by family and friends.

I have a raft of Majel stories, none of which I feel like recounting right now. I know I liked her a lot, had a number of dealings with her, and she was directly responsible for “Q-in-Law” getting published.

Fortunately her final voice work–the computer–was recorded for the upcoming film. It wouldn’t have been the same without her.

She will be missed.

PAD

There is apparently already debate raging as to whether “Saturday Night Live” crossed the line in its portrayal of NY Governor David Paterson, generating laughter courtesy of his blindness by having Fred Armisen as Paterson displaying a financial graph upside down and later wandering aimlessly and unwarily into the camera shot. (Apparently the guardians of what’s funny/what isn’t have given up complaining about the white Armisen portraying black politicians and instead are now complaining about him portraying blind black politicians.)

I shall now settle this debate with an open statement to all those who contend that SNL did, in fact, cross the line of good taste and fairness:

Yes. They crossed the line.

And your point is…?

SNL is, and always has been, about redrawing the line, then crossing it, and then redrawing it some more.

So last night they made Paterson’s blindness part of the sketch. It was funny. How do we know it was funny? People laughed. The contention, as one organization put forward, that they were making fun of “all blind people” is the same as attacking their opening sketch parodying the beleagured Illinois governor and saying it was making fun of everyone who uses profanity.

Rather than complain about ill-treatment, I’d be inclined to think that advocates for the blind should take pride. What else IS equality if it’s not being just as capable of being held up for lampooning as anything or anyone else? Would it really be better if SNL or comedians said, “No, no, blind people require special protection and consideration. They’re so oversensitive that they can’t possibly deal with having their disability be part of a comic prodding.”

A good comic doesn’t just acknowledge the elephant in the room; he makes fun of it.

PAD

In a sole-searing exhibit of disdain, an Iraqi heel slung two shoes at President Bush during a news conference. To his credit, Bush displayed considerable polish in dodging the flying size 10s, utilizing the reflexes he’s developed in sidestepping criticism and blame for the previous eight years.

The shoe-thrower, an Iraqi journalist, is believed to be an Oxford graduate. Secret Service agents were momentarily caught loafing as he pumped both shoes at the outgoing president, but managed to cobble together their wits and sock him to the ground.

PAD

UPDATED 12/15: Here’s something to ponder. If other United States politicos hold press conferences in Iraq, are all Iraqi journalists going to be required by the Secret Service to remove their shoes and check them in a box outside the room. I mean, one nimrod years ago failed in an attempt to sneak explosives onto an airplane via his shoes and since then we all have to go in stocking feet through the metal detectors. So if shoes ARE being used as a means of expressing disdain, is that going to be accounted for in future Iraqi press gatherings?

There are times that I wish I could draw, and this is one of them. If I could, I would draw a little heavenly scenario that shows Bettie Page posing for a portrait-painting Dave Stevens, captioned “Together at last.”

Hell of a story, those two.

PAD

“Heroes” has been getting slammed a lot this season and I decided to wait until a natural breaking point to discuss it, since to my mind trying to review it as it goes is akin to reviewing a book chapter by chapter. You run into a whole “forest for the trees” thing.

Now, with the first half of the season drawing to a close, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s not actually a forest involved. It’s more of a jungle, and I’m in desperate need of a machete.

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Caroline showed up to play. Snow was falling, as it has every year on her birthday except–for the first time–this one.

We took her to Friendly’s for her birthday dinner. Sunday will be her party.

PAD

One of the downsides of passing fifty is that medical science becomes interested in shoving all kinds of stuff up your ass. On the other hand, I’ve had too many friends die far short of fifty to feel like anything other than an ingrate if I bitch about it too much.

As I write this, I’m still slightly loopy from being rendered unconscious for my very first colonoscopy. I really should have had it two years ago, but, well…I’ve been busy.

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Excerpted from “School Library Journal”–

SLJ Presents the Best Adult Books for High School Students 2008
By Francisca Goldsmith, Chair, Adult Books for High School Students Committee — School Library Journal, 12/1/2008

In a James Barrie-inspired world of suspense, swashbuckling adventure, tenderness, anguish, and wit and sarcasm, the appealing characters peopling Anyplace will draw in many teen readers.

The full article with the complete list can be found here:

http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/article/ca6617202.html

PAD