I decided to head out to the Nebulas to see Harlan get the Grandmaster award. I’ll be writing about it in detail in “But I Digress,” but suffice to say that it was great to see him, Susan, and all the Usual Suspects who tend to materialize whenever Harlan makes his presence known at a convention. The get together was smoothly run, so props to chairman Lee Whiteside for keeping it all together.
I’m truly pleased that SFWA decided to accord Harlan the honor in spite of past differences they’ve had with Harlan, and equally pleased that Harlan accepted it despite those same differences.
And the capper to my trip out there: A mere block and a half away from the hotel was the Women’s Beach Volleyball tour. So I spent the afternoon in the bleachers watching Olymic Gold Medalists Misty May and Kerri Walsh gracefully pound the crap out of their opponents while sporting handkerchief-sized bathing suits. God, I love this country.
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Giggidy!
Two Thoughts:
1) It’s nice to hear Harlan Ellison being lauded by the speculative fiction community (in honor of Harlan, I’ll refrain from using “sci-fi” today): I’ve always thought it a shame that some people have judged him more on his personality at conventions than on his writing. His personality, and I say this in the nicest possible sense, is irrelevant–after a career like his, it wouldn’t matter to me if he was a total recluse or a social butterfly or a serial killer. His writing merits recognition, full stop.
2) Misty May and Kerri Walsh are amazing. I, like most Y-chromosome-possessing humans, tuned in to women’s beach volleyball for the outfits, but they are truly dominant in their field in the same way Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods were dominant in theirs. They’ve done some staggering stuff.
I know I should like women’s volleyball. I know it’s bad for me. I know it’s empty calories.
But man-o-man, it’s like visual crack! One look and there’s no turning the channel. If I come across it while channel surfing, I’m held hostage until the next commercial break.
And you know what the very best part is?
1) Women’s athletics cannot survive without corporate sponsorship;
2) In struggling sports such as arena football and beach volleyball, a corporate logo right on the athlete’s uniforms is the most lucrative contract;
3) Women’s Beach Volleyball uniforms are so skimpy that only acreage available for a logo — and therefore the most valuable billboard space — is the seat of their bikinis;
4) Sponsors judge the value of their sponsorship by the amount of attention placed on their corporate logos.
Therefore, if you don’t stare at these women’s butts, it means that you want women’s athletics to fail, and are therefore a horrible, horrible sexist.
I was not around when women struggled so valiantely to win the right to vote, but by gum, every time beach volleyball is on TV, I’m right there showing my support for equality. Every time I allow me gaze to linger one of those women’s firm backsides for an inappropriately-long period of time, I’m chaining myself to a railing next to Sojourner Truth and Susan B. Anthony.
And shame, shame, SHAME on those male-chauvanist pigs out there who watch the actual gameplay. Why must you hate so?
On the other hand, since women’s sports need as much corporate sponsorship as it can get, it’s also a good idea to put logos on the tops of their bikinis. But, in order to be visible on TV, they need as much “acreage” up top as possible.
Therefore, it’s in the sport’s best interest to have players with the largest breasts possible.
I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, Harlan Ellison. Yeah, it’s great he’s gotten a Grand Master despite his well-documented personality disorder. Wordsmithing skill should be the only consideration, blah, blah, blah.
Oh wait, women’s volleyball is back on . . .
On the other hand, since women’s sports need as much corporate sponsorship as it can get, it’s also a good idea to put logos on the tops of their bikinis. But, in order to be visible on TV, they need as much “acreage” up top as possible.
Therefore, it’s in the sport’s best interest to have players with the largest breasts possible.
I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, Harlan Ellison. Yeah, it’s great he’s gotten a Grand Master despite his well-documented personality disorder. Wordsmithing skill should be the only consideration, blah, blah, blah.
Oh wait, women’s volleyball is back on . . .
Nice to hear about Ellison getting the award. The dude takes no crap and speaks his mind, which I always respect.
I think if the current popularity of Women’s beach vollyball teaches us anything, is that we will watch women atheletes if they wear as little as possible. The WNBA could get more people in the stands if the playeres wore the kind of tiny shorts male basketball players had to wear in the 70s and 80s! I’m also a big fan of Misty May and Kerri Walsh who not only are the best players but also have the right amount of HoYay! going on between them.
Not entirely on topic, but perhaps someone else out there can help me on this WARNING: Small Mission Impossible 3 spoiler. There was a quick scene where Ethan Hunt’s boss says something about the ‘Invisible Man’, then he says ‘Wells, not Ellison, if you’re trying to be smart’. Did Harlan write some version of ‘Invisible Man’ (a quick google search turns up nothing); it was a really funny line for me if I heard it correctly.
Hey, speaking of “But I Digress,” are there any plans for further archiving? Particularly of newer columns? When this site first came up, I was kinda hoping after some embargo (90 days? Six months?), recent columns would be posted.
Posted by MarvelFan at May 8, 2006 12:25 PM
Not entirely on topic, but perhaps someone else out there can help me on this WARNING: Small Mission Impossible 3 spoiler. There was a quick scene where Ethan Hunt’s boss says something about the ‘Invisible Man’, then he says ‘Wells, not Ellison, if you’re trying to be smart’. Did Harlan write some version of ‘Invisible Man’ (a quick google search turns up nothing); it was a really funny line for me if I heard it correctly.
They were probably referring to the novel Invisible Man, written by Ralph Ellison. It’s not science… er, speculative fiction, and has nothing to do with anyone being able to turn invisible in the literal sense of the word. Instead, it’s a powerful story about race relations in America. It’s one of the best novels I’ve ever read and I highly recommend it.
It has nothing to do with Harlan Ellison, though.
Speaking of Harlan Ellison, I’ve never met him and I make it a practice not to rely on hearsay, so I have no opinion about his personality. I think he’s a gifted writer, though, and it’s nice to see him recognized for that.
Peter, I don’t know what causes me to envy you more: the fact that you know Harlan Ellison, or the fact that you got to watch a live game of volleyball featuring well-built, scantily-clad women.
Ugh. Since someone had to go and mention M:I 3, I have to say it:
F–k Tom Cruise!
War of the Worlds is the last Tom Cruise movie that I will ever make the mistake of watching.
War of the Worlds is the last Tom Cruise movie that I will ever make the mistake of watching.
I didn’t think WotW was that bad.
I had severe reservations about The Last Samurai knowing that Cruise was going to be in it, but I think it ended up being one of the best, if not the best, film I’ve ever seen him in. Well, except for the cliched ending.
Therefore, if you don’t stare at these women’s butts, it means that you want women’s athletics to fail, and are therefore a horrible, horrible sexist.
*snort*
So, you weren’t bothered by the magical EM Pulse that wiped out all electronic devices except camcorders?
Or the fact that an alien tripod could withstand the force of digging itself out of hundreds of tons of rock, yet was blown apart by a couple of grenades?
Or the fact that these tripods were apparently buried millions of years ago, and yet not a single one had ever been unearthed before?
Or the total destruction of Boston with the lone exception of his ex-wife’s magical explosion-proof block?
Or that his unbelievably stupid son managed to not get himself killed?
Or the fact that it starred Tom Cruise, an áššhølë who had a kid just to get publicity for M:I 3?
Shouldn’t theblame for War of the Worlds go to the writer and director?
Recently I’ve seen several movies like War of the Worlds that should have worked but didn’t, and it’s hard to understand why. It’s not like they didn’t care about them. I always start thinking howthe movie couldhave been done differently.
Speaking of the Nebulas, if I may indulge in a bit of shameless self-promotion, the video of last year’s Nebula Awards ceremony (with Neil Gaiman as Toastmaster and Anne McCaffrey recipient of the Damon Knight Memorial Grand Master award) is available from Alpha Video Productions. Further details are at the company website, http://www.alphavideoproduction.com
Speaking of the Nebulas, if I may indulge in a bit of shameless self-promotion, the video of last year’s Nebula Awards ceremony (with Neil Gaiman as Toastmaster and Anne McCaffrey recipient of the Damon Knight Memorial Grand Master award) is available from Alpha Video Productions. Further details are at the company website, http://www.alphavideoproduction.com
Speaking of the Nebulas, if I may indulge in a bit of shameless self-promotion, the video of last year’s Nebula Awards ceremony (with Neil Gaiman as Toastmaster and Anne McCaffrey recipient of the Damon Knight Memorial Grand Master award) is available from Alpha Video Productions. Further details are at the company website, http://www.alphavideoproduction.com
That’s great that Ellison got the Grandmaster award. He’s been just about my favorite writer since I discovered his work back in my late teens. I once drove to an out-of-state store appearance he did to promote “Harlan Ellison’s Dream Corridor” for Dark Horse just because I had no idea when or where I might get another opportunity to meet him…
Shouldn’t theblame for War of the Worlds go to the writer and director?
For all of the bad plot points, yes. For Tom Cruise’s horrible acting, no.
Well as Andy and Den pointed out its our duty to watch women with bikinis play whatever they want to play.
Just hoping that my wife doesnt decide its her duty to get Guys going wild dvds as revenge.
But Den, why focus on the trivial details, when there’s a much better reason to hate WOTW, namely the entire final ten minutes?
I do think it’s a great movie, though. Or it would be if it wasn’t for the terrible ending. Spielberg’s directing is brilliant, it’s just too bad he had a crap script to work with.
And Cruise’s acting was just fine. In fact, I thought he was quite good (which doesn’t mean that I don’t think he’s a prìçk in real life). It was Tim Robbins who was awful.
Thanks for the kudos, Peter. It was a lot of work running it, but the whole weekend came off pretty smoothly, despite some snafus with the hotel. They at least appear to have handled Peter’s charity auction acquiisition properly, though.
I was glad to see Peter make it out to join in the fun (and surprise Harlan). One photo site has a picture of Harlan and Peter from the Friday night reception (http://www.midamericon.org/photoarchive/06neb09.htm)
Lee Whiteside
2006 Nebula Awards Weekend Chair
But Den, why focus on the trivial details, when there’s a much better reason to hate WOTW, namely the entire final ten minutes?
Because the other 110 minutes sucked just as badly.
And Cruise’s acting was just fine.
Ack. Maybe I should try watching it high. Maybe that way I could see what other people see in his “acting”.
I could say that he sucked in this movie, but the truth is, he didn’t really suck any more than he has in any of his previous movies. Of course, he’d already set the bar so low that it’s become hard to imagine how much worse he could actually get.
It just hit me when I was unpacking things from the Nebulas tonight I missed out on a perfect opportunity for some fun at the Nebulas. We were not able to get an acceptance speech or anything from Joss Whedon. Maybe I should have brought my Angel puppet and let Angel (with some help from Peter) accept it. Oh well, he’s guarding it until I find out where I need to ship it….
http://www.sftv.org/weblog
I remember Dragon*Con in 2004 where some MC, the kind of guy who entertains at Shriner’s meetings, was making fun of Ellison with some cliched jokes. Then Ellison stood up and neatly, cleanly, and hilariously gave the guy several new holes in his body. (But invited him to his table and cheered him up afterwards.)
The occasion was only spoiled because the comedy music artist Luke Ski was waiting to sing, hidden behind stage in costume, and got told he was cancelled at the last minute – ten minutes into Mr. Showbiz’s lame routine. He was hurt far worse than that entertainer was, and didn’t have a Harlan to comfort him afterwards.
>So, you weren’t bothered by the magical EM Pulse that wiped out all electronic devices except camcorders?
Blame Holloywood for not getting EMP right because, as I understand it, EMP only affects ACTIVE electrical circuits. ie, if the device is TURNED OFF, it’s not affected. Espeially if, just before he ran outside to get footage of the thing emerging, he’d had the battery pack off the thing.
>Or the fact that an alien tripod could withstand the force of digging itself out of hundreds of tons of rock, yet was blown apart by a couple of grenades?
A main battle tank which can withstand a direct anti-tank hit can similarly be taken out by a grenade inside. Your point being…?
>Or the fact that these tripods were apparently buried millions of years ago, and yet not a single one had ever been unearthed before?
All we had to go on were rumours and speculations. We don’t KNOW this is true.
>Or the total destruction of Boston with the lone exception of his ex-wife’s magical explosion-proof block?
Did we see ALL of Boston at any given time? No. So how do we know this is true? Modern cities cover quite an area. Given the mahines seemed to go more or less straight line they could easily have gone after more densely populated and manufacturing areas, leaving some residential districts untouched.
>Or that his unbelievably stupid son managed to not get himself killed?
That was disappointing, I’ll admit. But, again, a case could be made for how that came to be.
Was it a perfect film? No. But still far above most crap Hokeywood routinely turns out.
A main battle tank which can withstand a direct anti-tank hit can similarly be taken out by a grenade inside. Your point being…?
The force of hundreds of tons of rock is greater than than of a anti-tank weapon.
All we had to go on were rumours and speculations. We don’t KNOW this is true.
Bûllšhìŧ. When a character gives an expositional dialogue (even if said character is supposed to be insane) about the nature of the enemy and no alternative theory is ever presented to the audience, the audience is left with no other conclusion than the sole exposition they were given was true.
Besides, Spielberg said in interviews that was the case, so double bûllšhìŧ.
Did we see ALL of Boston at any given time?
Your point being? Did we see any part of Boston that wasn’t destroyed besides her magical block?
Answer: No.
The movie was utter crap.
Tom Cruise has this hyperactive persona he uses in most movies, sometimes it works for the movie sometimes it doesn’t. In War of the Worlds it felt a little distracting.
But I think the main problem was with the writing
I don’t really understand what was the point of having the tripipods burried. It didn’t accomplish anything for the story.
Yet this was not the only thing. I don’t know why exactly, but the movie felt wrong to me. something about the pacing. It is hard to understand why it happened.
I had a similar problem with King Kong, Srar Wars I-III, Star trek Nemesis, Darkworld, and some others I can’t remeber right now. They sound like good ideas, the people who made them meant well, but somewho something went wrong. Usually on the writing stage. In Constantine it was the acting. With the hulk I really don’t know.
Tom Cruise has this hyperactive persona he uses in most movies, sometimes it works for the movie sometimes it doesn’t. In War of the Worlds it felt a little distracting.
I’ve never liked Cruise as an actor (in case you hadn’t noticed). I’ve always found his performances to be hamfisted and more concerned with making sure he gets more screentime than any other actor in the movie.
Lately, his off screen antics have lead me to strongly dislike him as a person, too. The whole Tomkat* nonsense has looked staged and fake from day one, plus all his spouting off about a religion that was invented as a bar bet vs. psychiatry just makes him look like an idiot.
But I think the main problem was with the writing
That was a big part of it, too. Spielberg has frustrated me in recent years. For every Saving Private Ryans he produces, he puts out two steaming piles of dung like WOTW.
I don’t really understand what was the point of having the tripipods burried. It didn’t accomplish anything for the story.
Exactly. I don’t generally object to departures from the source material so long as they serve to make the movie more enjoyable. The burial of the tripods, however, just raised to many other questions that were never answered.
I had a similar problem with King Kong, Srar Wars I-III, Star trek Nemesis, Darkworld, and some others I can’t remeber right now. They sound like good ideas, the people who made them meant well, but somewho something went wrong. Usually on the writing stage. In Constantine it was the acting. With the hulk I really don’t know.
A lot of movies mean well, but something gets lost in the production. Constantine had a good story, but Keanu’s bland acting hurt it. As for the Hulk, I had the same problem with it that I did with King Kong: Both films were the makings of really good two hour-long movies. But the directors of both insisted on carrying them out to three hours. And the results were two bloated and overproduced movies that could have been so much better with a little trimming.
Sorry about the doub postings. The Post button has been acting weird.
Okay, first off, much admiration to Mr. Ellison not only for his work but for allowing bygones to be bygones. Equal kudos to the SFWA for the latter.
Now, my two cents on movies. I liked War of the Worlds. Not an owner, by any means, but it was a fun take on the story. As for Tom Cruise, well, the only movie of his that I ever REALLY REALLY liked was The Firm. Despised the first M:I so much that I haven’t seen one since. I don’t know what the problem so many people have with Nemesis is. I liked it. One of my friends said it sucked because it felt like a two hour episode. Now, for me, a big screen episode, for me, anyway, is a GOOD thing. The one mistake that has been made with all, I say, ALL, the Next Gen movies is the scripts tried to be too mainstream so as to appeal to a broader audience. Good Trek will make you want to go back and see the rest. I’m the first to admit that I hated Gladiator, but that was more because of Russell Crowe than Logan’s writing. I thought the dialogue in the first two Star Wars movies was a little stiff, and Jake Lloyd–well,, let’s hope he can be directed better as he gets older. I didn’t see King Kong, as much as I hate to admit it, but I have no time. Didn’t see Constantine, either, but I head good things from reasonably reliable people. I NEVER listen to movie critics. Why? you may ask. How do THEY know what I’ll like?
I like the Firm too. Tom Cruise’s hyperactive persona was just right in this movie. You’d expect the same would be true for WAar of the Worlds. But it didn’t. To me it gelt like: hyperactive father, loghtning bolts, interesting but, runnning around, running around, explosions, running aroud, running around, more explosions, running around, scary aliens, running around, red stuff, nice visuals, interest… running around, explosion, sick alien, god save America, the end. I think part of the problem was the pacing.
I don’t remeber why I didn’t like Nemesis, but I remember feeling it was really terrible.
The Star Wars movies were bad to the core. Bad plot, bad script, bad characterization, bad dialogue, bad directing, bad acting. I was surprised because it seemed that Lucas just didn’t bother to come up with a good story, although you’d expect that he’ll work on this harder than any movie he made.
Movie critics are interesting in they can get you to see a movie from a different point of view, if they can do a good job explaining how they saw the movie. Sometimes I agree, sometimes not.
“Jake Lloyd–well,, let’s hope he can be directed better as he gets older”
Before Attack of the Clones came out I thought it would be better because tthe lead was now an adult. It was a little better, but still bad. Even a better child actor couldn’t have saved it. And having a child to begin with didn’t make much sense, just like sticking the tripods in the ground.
“I don’t remeber why I didn’t like Nemesis, but I remember feeling it was really terrible.”
I just found it dull. Clones, alternate Datas and all that felt like contrived stuff that the show has already dealt with. It sucked any possible excitement out of the movie.
Tom Cruise’s hyperactive persona was just right in this movie.
But that’s the problem with Cruise in general. His performances are always the same. How can you call it acting when he plays the same character in every movie?
F–k Tom Cruise!
Unfortunately, Tom Cruise kind of fell into the pattern that a lot of the BIG stars do, always getting into the same kind of parts.