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Just thought I’d mention that, according to Chris Ryall, “Spike: Old Times” has sold out both from Diamond and the publisher (their initial order plus everything they’d overprinted for reorders.)

The guys at Fourth World Comics in Smithtown, NY, where I buy my books (best comic shop in Long Island, folks) have likewise sold out. The canny retailers put copies of the book in the pull file of everyone who had ordered the “Angel” comic as an FYI, and every single person bought it without hesitation.

So that’s nice.

I’ve no idea if there’s plans to go back to press.

PAD

If I hadn’t been down to Crescent Con down in New Orleans a couple weeks ago, then I would simply feel badly for the folks down in the Big Easy and keep my fingers crossed for them.

But instead, for me, the Big Breezy has a very personal aspect to it now. I met hundreds of great folks down there, and now I’m worried about all of them. I find myself wondering which of them got out in plenty of time…which ones were sitting there stuck in the unmoving mass of traffic. I remember the chatty cab driver who jovially pointed out the Superdome as the place where the Saints go to lose every weekend (if I got the team wrong, cut me some slack, I’m not Mr. Football), and now I wonder if the cabbie was one of those who couldn’t afford to get out and is now huddling in that same structure for which he showed such disdain. There’s a shop in the French Quarter that sells toy soldiers that Harlan loves, and I didn’t get a chance to swing by there and buy him something while I was down there; now I wonder if it’ll still be there by morning.

Katrina has been downgraded from a category 5 to category 4 which, according to a spokesman for the National Weather Service, is like being downgraded from being hit by an 18 wheeler to being hit by a freight train.

If any of the great folks I met down there are able to, chime in here and let us know how you’re doing.

PAD

I haven’t seen copies of the second issue of the Abomination limited series, but from what I’m hearing, an entire page worth of dialogue was dropped out for no discernible reason.

Basically there’s an entire page of fight scene between the Abomination and the Hulk, and there’s no dialogue. No caption. No nothing. The major problem is that there’s now no segue between the dialogue as it ends on the previous page and as it starts on the following page. So…here’s the missing dialogue, along with the page description so you can see how it flows:

PANEL A: The Abomination barely manages to roll out of the way as the Hulk crashes down where he’d just been.

CAPTION 1: “I’ll tell you this, Blonsky. Say what you will about the Hulk…and over the years, I’ve said plenty.…

PANEL B: The Abomination, now on his feet, manages to fling his arms wide and shatter the girder that was wrapped around his arms.

CAPTION 2: “He may be many things: The world’s most destructive force, a walking A-Bomb, a tragic figure…

CAPTION 3: “…the whipping boy of the gods…

CAPTION 4: “…whatever.

CAPTION 5: “But you know what he’s not?”

PANEL C: The Abomination throws chunks of debris at the Hulk, who brings up his arms to shield his face from the barrage.

CAPTION 6: “He’s not a hypocrite. He doesn’t change his tune or try to present himself as anything other than he is…

CAPTION 7: “A frustrated beast who just wants to be left alone.”

And the dialogue on the next page continues, with Blonsky, saying, “And yet you don’t,” to which Ross concedes, “And yet we don’t.”

That’s how it’s supposed to read. I’ve no explanation for why the dialogue isn’t there.

PAD

Back home after visiting with my folks down in Pennsylvania to celebrate their respective birthdays. And I came home to discover that, hey, Spike: Old Times really IS out this week. So whad’ja think?

PAD

Bush, in describing Cindy Sheehan, stated, “She expressed her opinion. I disagree with it.”

This puts Cindy Sheehan in the company of military experts who told Bush things he didn’t want to hear prior to the attack on Iraq. Experts who turned out to be correct.

PAD

Kath and I just came back from seeing “The Aristrocrats,” a documentary about a legendary dirty joke that’s been around for ages and–until now–has been purely a comedian-to-comedian thing.

The premise is simple. A guy walks into a talent agency and says to the talent agent, “My family has the most amazing act you’ve ever seen.” From that moment on, it’s pure improv as the comedian proceeds to describe the most hideously profane act he can think of, replete with fornication, bodily secretions and excretion, incest…whatever. At the end, the stunned agent says, “That’s quite an act. What do you call it?” And the guy says proudly, “The Aristocrats!”

No one makes any attempt to say that the joke, in and of itself, is funny. It’s not. But it’s the telling of it, the total insanity of the contrast between the grossness of the act and the sophistication of the name, that’s the killer.

High points include a specially done “South Park” version with Cartman telling it to an increasingly horrified Stan, Kyle and Kenny; a magician who seamlessly melds the joke with a card trick presentation; Gilbert Gottfried absolutely killing with a version told during the Comedy Central roast of Hugh Hefner…and, my personal favorite, Tommy Smothers telling the joke to Dick Smothers, who has never heard it and hasn’t a clue why anyone would remotely consider it funny. It occurs to me that–with no comment on the gentlemen’s mental capacities, but rather simply on their “stage” personas–that if Joe Quesada told the Aristrocrats to Paul Levitz, they would be exactly like Tom and Dick Smothers.

PAD

You know, it always causes me giggles when Christians complain of how ill-used and oppressed Christianity is in this country. Because, y’know, having the only religion for which government shuts down on your major holidays isn’t enough due diligence. Still, it can’t help the perception of your faith when your major spokesmen in this country are assholes. Kind of skews perceptions of you. Consider Pat Robertson, bastion of Christian charity, advocating the covert assassination of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.

Oh yeah. I seem to recall, from my limited familiarity with the New Testament, that Jesus advocated such thinking. Right between “Love thy neighbor” and “The meek shall inherit the Earth,” he espoused,
“We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.”

I can understand why Pat Robertson is such a prominent religious figure. Every time the guy opens his mouth, people say, “Chriiiiiiist.”

PAD

You know, I’ve been loving the current storyline on HBO’s “Entourage” which features rising movie star Vincent Chase starring in a James Cameron-directed Aquaman film. TV Guide (or maybe it was EW) claimed that the storyline dissed the sea king, but I completely disagree. Vincent’s initial hesitation to portray Aquaman never stemmed from feeling the character was stupid, but rather that he, Vince, didn’t have the right stuff to portray a superhero. The only laugh-out-loud sequence was when the Hollywood braintrust trotted out a ghastly garish Aquaman outfit, and by me that was more a comment on Hollywood’s ability to bugger a costume rather than on Aquaman himself. Vince’s brother, Johnny Drama–ever on the lookout for his own fading acting career–correctly points out with optimism that, hey, y’know, Aquaman DOES have a brother.

And on tonight’s episode, wonder of wonders, Vincent is actually shown working out with Aquaman’s harpoon hand. No “water hand” here; this version of Aquaman is packing serious spear. They refer to it as a “claw hand,” granted, but it’s metal and it fires a harpoon, so that’s close enough for me.

Now all we need is for Cameron to REALLY make an Aquaman film and we’re good to go.

PAD

I’m probably going to expand upon this in “But I Digress”, but…

I was at a playground yesterday with Caroline. There was a little boy there, seven years old, named Steven. He was talking to other kids about Spider-Man, and what a big Spider-Man fan he was. He was showing off his Spidey sneakers very proudly.

And I said to him, “Do you read Spider-Man comics?”

He looked at me oddly and said, “No.”

“Why not?”

“I watch the movies,” he said. “And I play the video game. I beat Doc Ock,” he added proudly.

“Okay, but…Spider-Man’s a comic book character. Aren’t you at all interested in reading the comic?”

He shook his head. His ten year old brother said, “Why should he?”

I said, “Well, because you keep watching the movies, it’s the same story. What about new adventures, new stories about Spider-Man?”

The big brother shrugged and said, “He watches the cartoon.”

“I watch the cartoon,” Steve echoed. “And the movies. And play the game. I’m a Spider-Man fan!”

Spidey’s biggest fan…except for, y’know, the whole comic book thing. That he really doesn’t care about.

And why should he? How many have you, in the past five years, have seen a James Bond movie or played the video game? Now…how many of you have read a James Bond book? Seen a Sherlock Holmes film or a repeat of the Jeremy Brett TV series? As opposed to reading Conan Doyle or any of the many pastiches?

Comics used to be the only venue for following the adventures of iconic heroes, just as books were once the only means of keeping up with literary heroes. And now the heros’ popularity has outstripped any need for literature…or readers.

And you wonder why comics are hemorrhaging readers.

PAD

I’m not sure how to feel about the Gaza pull out.

I suppose the action will be judged by the result. If the result is that Palestinians see this pull out as a genuine concession in the interest of a greater peace, and meet that with a genuine move for a lasting peace, then it’s likely worth it.

But considering that there are coffee mugs and t-shirts being sold that say “Today Gaza, tomorrow Jerusalem,” it seems just as likely–if not more so–that this will be seen as merely the first step toward pushing the Israelis into the sea. Not proof that the Jews genuinely want peace, but rather proof that the Jews can genuinely be gotten rid off.

I pray for the former; I suspect the latter.

Mark my words: There’s going to be a war. Not skirmishes. Not car bombings. There’s going to be another full-blown war, and at the end of it, either there’s going to be no Israel or the Palestinian question is going to be resolved because the Palestinians will be dead.

And for those who are critical of Israel’s past aggressive posture after decades of acts of terrorism within their country…keep in mind it took exactly one act of terrorism in our country to have us attack not one, but two countries. The Gaza pull out is the equivalent of American Indians waging ten years worth of terrorist attacks and getting Delaware back.

PAD

Caroline has embarked on the great journey called potty training.

I am always going to remember the sight from just a few minutes ago of Caroline sitting on her little to-scale potty chair, reading a book on making in the potty that Kathleen bought from the local Borders. It’s like one of those pictures of a guy looking at a painting of him looking at a painting of him looking at a painting etc.

The result of her very first endeavor? Roughly a tablespoon worth of pee (no, I didn’t measure it, you sickos) that she then dumped in the toilet and flushed her very self. And right now she’s sporting her immediate reward: Her very own Dora the Explorer pull up diaper.

I’m figuring she’s going to go straight from this to curing cancer.

PAD

The announcement over on the Wizard World site is correct: I’ll be attending the Wizard World Convention in Texas this November.

Basically, it was real simple. They contacted me some weeks ago and asked me if I’d go. I said that as long as they were planning an Atlanta show opposite Heroes Con, I could not in good conscience accept their offer. I also said that, if and when the Atlanta show went away, I’d come to Texas. They subsequently pulled out, so I’m keeping my word. And no, this is not a case of post hoc ergo propter hoc. I’m reasonably sure they were going to pull out in response to the negative publicity, my attending Texas or no not withstanding. Me, I’m just pleasantly surprised. This is the first Wizard con they’ve approached me about…this century, I think.

Also, FYI, they’re doing a lengthy article about my work in issue #169 of Wizard, coming out late in September. Hunh. Maybe if you hang around long enough you get popular again. I will say this: The Wizard Fan Award statue I have for “Hulk: The End” is definitely the coolest looking trophy I have.

PAD

In a tragic setback in Iraq, it was announced today that a dog ate the just completed Iraqi constitution.

“We finished it, honest to god,” said assembly speaker Hajim al-Hasani, looking greatly chagrined and scuffing his toe. “It was all done, we had it, we just needed that extra day to make it look really good. And then we were carrying it to work and this dog just came out of nowhere. It barked and scared us, and I was so startled that I dropped the constitution. Next thing we knew, it was in this dog’s mouth and he was running away with it, chewing on it.”

The constitution and dog have eluded capture. Authorities believe that the dog may have been associated with insurrectionists, since there have been several instances of dogs being employed as suicide bombers.

Fox News reported CIA suspicions that protestor Cindy Sheehan may have been behind the theft, stopping at nothing to make President George W. Bush look bad.

“I sympathize with the Iraqi assembly,” President Bush stated from his annual one month vacation in Crawford, Texas. “I remember when a dog ate my copy of the Bill of Rights and the Geneva Convention. We still haven’t gotten over that one.”

With the Iraqi assembly now having to start all over again, a new delivery date for the Constitution is uncertain since they’ll have to re-create it from memory.

PAD

Marion was the sweet old woman who lived next door to us, married sixty years to her husband, Ed. She passed away a few days ago, and for the past few days Ed’s numerous family members have been around to offer support. Today we did what we could by attending her funeral service this evening.

Personally, I don’t understand the concept of open caskets and viewings. I know it offers comfort to many (“She looks so peaceful”) but I just find it disturbing. A gussied-up corpse isn’t Marion. Marion was the smiling, charming woman who smiled out at us from dozens of photographs that had been arranged in displays around the viewing parlor, from childhood photos to her youth with Ed (she was quite a looker in her prime, I might add).

In any event, we offered our condolences and support, and we figure since we’re right next door to him, we’ll try to be his first resource whenever he needs anything.

Sixty years. Wow.

PAD

The current issue of “Rue Morgue” has a very positive review of the new “Spike” one-shot from IDW, written by yours truly. Whad’ja think?

PAD

In the “West Wing” episode “Inauguration,” scriptwriter Aaron Sorkin has his characters quoting–I believe–Margaret Mead in saying, “”Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever does.”

So now we’re seeing this taking hold in Crawford, Texas, as Cindy Sheehan puts exactly what the White House has never wanted onto the losses in Iraq: A human face.

I have to admit, I think it’s absurd when I read the contention that her son joined the army some years back but never thought he’d actually have to GO anywhere. Ma’am, he joined the ARMY. Did he think it was all Sergeant Bilko or Gomer Pyle? I mean, sure, there were those eight reviled years of peace and prosperity, but there was no guarantee it was going to last.

Nevertheless, when the time came, her son did what he signed up to do. Did what he had to do. And now she’s doing what she has to do–getting in the President’s face. And the President is doing what he has to do–hide in his ranch and wait for this to go away.

She’s demanding accountability from her president.. Now we see just how much building rage there is in this country in terms of others likewise demanding it.

PAD

UPDATE–I really like this notion, as mentioned below: “Wouldn’t it be interesting if some of the other moms who lost their sons in Iraq decided to join that one-woman protest, so that it continued to grow in size…and grow…and grow…”

It’d be like Mothers Against Drunk Driving, except it’s Mothers Opposing Bush. MOB. “Yes, there’s a MOB scene here in Crawford.” “MOB rule has broken out outside the White House…”

Interesting thought.

At the suggestion of several folks on this blog, I sent the following to NPR as a submission for their commentaries:

“Oh, Da! It’s the moon!”

If Carol was watching through her eyes, I think she liked what she saw.

The response I received?

Dear Commentator:

Unfortunately, we will not be able to use your commentary on Morning Edition, but we encourage you to read on anyway, in case you would like to try again.

This was followed by specifics for their guidelines, all of which my submission already met.

So for those of you who think that being a published writer guarantees no more form rejections…

PAD

Our local school district is having serious problems: A pathetic voter turnout of barely 25% (among other things) resulted in the school budget being voted down. By state law, the school board has to implement an austerity budget which calls for the discontinuation of extracurricular activities including all sports, music, theater, art…everything, really.

So local groups have been cropping up that are attempting to develop fund-raising activities to cover the difference. Well, tonight a meeting had been called at the local high school of a group that was seeking to raise money specifically to cover music, theater and art. Kath had gone to previous meetings dedicated to saving sports, and I was hoping she would go to this one as well. But she didn’t feel up to it and so, against my better judgment, I went.

Well, with key members of the school board as well as local politicians up on the stage, and a fairly decent turn-out of parents, there was lots of talk about things parents could do to raise money, and students could do to raise money, and more things parents could do and more things students could do, and how absolutely everyone had to pull together for the kids.

Then they started taking questions.

Ten, fifteen, maybe twenty questions are asked in relative silence as the people on the stage fielded them.

And then I raised my hand. And they brought the mike to me, and I said, “I can’t help but think that what we’ve basically got here is a business that’s in trouble. A business that we–the consumers–are being asked to help shore up. And what occurs to me is that in the corporate world, on some occasions when a business is in trouble, the management–which is you–approaches the various unions in their employ and ask them to pitch in to see them through difficult economic times. Everyone contributes to the greater good. So what I’m wondering is–following that business model–has anyone here approached any of the unions and asked for roll backs or give backs in the spirit of everyone pitching to help the students?”

And suddenly the place was alive with thunderous applause and shouts of “Yes! Yeah!” And the organizing guy starts telling me why this is a terrible idea, and the superintendent of schools is telling me why this is a terrible idea, and the head of the local teachers union, HE’S explaining why it’s a terrible idea…

Understand, I think teachers are underpaid. When one of my kids was in kindergarten, I came in to lecture about making comics. After 40 minutes I felt like I’d been running a marathon, and when I staggered home, I was convinced that however much they were paying teachers, it wasn’t enough.

Nevertheless, from a business-model point of view, it seemed a reasonable question. Instead it touched off a small shitstorm of hostility from the parents and defensiveness from the school people.

So when I got home, I said to Kath, “From now on, YOU go to these kinds of meetings. At least YOU don’t nearly start riots.”

PAD

The official “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” spoiler-filled discussion thread.

(more…)

It’s always a relief to get back home after a convention excursion.

Had a good time at Crescent Con, which was the last of that series of conventions. My reasoning was that at some point in the past, they were discussing potential guests of honor, and someone in authority said, “The last person we’d want for GOH is Peter David.” And with this being the last, well…

Did a ton of panels, ranging from discussing how to get a book sold to judging a “Worst First Paragraph for an SF story” contest to doing a reading. Read the script for the Spike one-shot (out this week) and my short story, “Killing Time by the River Styx” which is in the newly published short story collection, “Meeting by the River.” Went over pretty well, and I’ll have some news about the audio version of “Styx” before long.

Kath had a number of panels as well, and also sold a couple of things in the art auction, which was great. We also were able to spend time with friends Wendy and Richard Pini and Marv Wolfman, and also got to know actor John Billingsley and his wife, Bonni. For my money, John as “Doctor Flox” was easily the best thing on “Enterprise,” and was also great on “West Wing” as the guy who tried to convince CJ to completely restructure the world map on Big Block of Cheese Day.

Didn’t really get out of the hotel until today; we went to the aquarium, which naturally was a big hit with Caroline, and the Riverside Mall, which was an even bigger hit with Ariel. Would’ve liked to get really into the French Quarter, but wasn’t able to do it. Maybe next time.

PAD