So get this: The Feds nail this guy who’s attempting to smuggle drugs by having swallowed fifty one condoms filled with heroin (he’s what’s traditionally referred to as a “mule.”) He’s brought to Mary Immaculate hospital where laxatives enable him to pass forty four of them. But levels of opiates in his urine prompt doctors to be concerned that one or more of the condoms has ruptured, so they operate and remove the remaining seven. It turns out they weren’t ruptured, but hey, they didn’t feel like standing around and risk just letting the guy die, no matter how scummy he is.
Claiming that he hadn’t given them permission to perform the potentially life-saving operation, and that he “still has nightmares” about it, this transporter of illegal drugs is now suing the hospital for $5 million. This after already having tried, and failed, to sue the Feds for $25 million.
Here’s hoping the judge gives the mule a swift kick in the ášš.
PAD
• 
You would think that something like that is a given, but there is always at least one that will look at it and say “Yeah, this scum bag has a point. He didn’t ask to have his life saved.” Sort of like the whole “I didn’t know the coffee in this cup was hot. Owww, I burnt myself. I’m suing!” Or my new favorite, “No one told me that if all I do is eat fast food and don’t exercise and do nothing but pull up to the first window that I’ll get fat!”
Go figure.
Ya know, my greatest concern with our society today is the fact that we’ve become a people who are unable to take responsiblity for our actions and are always looking to blame others for the consequences that befall us….. just as frighening is that our judicia system has become an enabler for this mindset.
Depends on what state the hospital is in… if it’s someplace like California, he might have a chance. If it’s Texas, he’ll be lucky if the judge doesn’t blow him away from the stand.
tOjb
Well, maybe they could compromise. The guy gets no money, but the Feds don’t get to cram condoms down the guys throat.
I think that’s fair
Peter, do you have a link for this?
If he goes before a judge in California, they’ll probably rule that the surgery was an illegal search and not only award him damages, but also dismiss the drug smuggling charges.
Maybe next time the Feds catch a mule, they should just give him anti-diarrheals to make him constipated.
Brings a whole new meaning to illegal entry and search warrants, n’est pas?
John
Isn`t the American Way of Life something wonderful???
Just put two bullets in the back of the head of the sucker and call it a day.
And I can`t believe anyone would ever get behind and support this idiot…
“Ya know, my greatest concern with our society today is the fact that we’ve become a people who are unable to take responsiblity for our actions”
Hmmmm…. remind you of a certain, current residence of the White House?
Boy, this one’s pretty tough to swallow.
I can only image what the outcome is going to be.
I think our legal system is too lax to handle these kinds of cases.
I’ll never understand these kinds of lifestyles.
Okay, I’m flaming here…
Den: If he goes before a judge in California, they’ll probably rule that the surgery was an illegal search and not only award him damages, but also dismiss the drug smuggling charges.
David Hunt: According to what Peter said, he’d already passed 40 condoms full of heroin. So even the seven they pulled out of him were excluded, that doesn’t mean that other forty they didn’t have to cut him open for would cease to legally exist.
David, Den’s just being his usual California-bashing self. And even though he does tend to exagerate, he isn’t that far off the truth.
David Hunt: According to what Peter said, he’d already passed 40 condoms full of heroin. So even the seven they pulled out of him were excluded, that doesn’t mean that other forty they didn’t have to cut him open for would cease to legally exist.
Ah, but he only delivered those other 40 condoms because he was forced to take a laxative! That’s another illegal search! A Cali judge would have a field day with that.
Sad, but true
Peter David has an interesting story about a drug smuggler, condoms and laxatives. Oh, I almost forgot the $25 million lawsuit against the Feds….
“Hmmmm…. remind you of a certain, current residence of the White House?”
No, but alot like the opposite political party of that resident.
With no informed consent obtained from the patient prior to the surgery, his lawsuit will not be thrown out of court. In fact, it’s highly likely the physicians and hospital will have to spend a large amount of health care dollars on legal fees proving that they HAD to operate to save this patient’s life. In the meantime, the plaintiff’s attorney will argue the surgery was unnecessary and against the patient’s will. This is why we need tort reform.
“Ah, but he only delivered those other 40 condoms because he was forced to take a laxative! That’s another illegal search! A Cali judge would have a field day with that.”
Not really. If they went that far, it’s likely they had just cause to go through with that “search,” and the surgery. You don’t feed a guy laxative because you *think* he *might* have condoms full of drugs in his intestines.
Also, his case against the Feds was already thrown out of court, which sets a direct precedent in this matter (I can only assume the concept of illegal search and seizure came into play in that one, since it’s not the Feds who cut him open to take out the last 7 condoms they didn’t need anyway).
My last thought: Just once, I’d like to see a judge order that a plaintiff be thrown out of court, rather than just his case.
My ex-wife is a doctor so I have has an interest in lawsuits involving medicine for some time. As insane as this one sounds I’ve seen even more bogus ones that went to trial and ended up with some idiot judge or jury awarding them money. These things usually get overturned at some point where sanity is restored but often at great cost to innocent parties.
I also worked for a school system that was sued for “wrongful termination” when they fired a bus driver who had failed to mention a prior criminal record of…you can see it coming, can’t you?…CHILD MOLESTATION!!! Holy crap! It’s getting so you can’t even fire *&#@#%@ Child Molesters anymore! yeah, it got tossed out but it coast the system enough money that they could have bought a new bus, for Christ’s sake!
Could we at least get a “loser pays for everyone’s lawyer” provision? Or do the trial lawyers have at least one political party by the short hairs? (rhetorical question)
You got to be šhìŧŧìņg me (pun intended).this is what is wrong with our legal system and government .Lets worry about things like this morons case when there is a backlog of problems in our courts and society.This guys rights were violated ???How about next time they take a gloved hand and dig the condoms in question out of his rear end ?The fact that a lawyer and judge would even consider this case is disgusting .
Peter, just admit this for me: the real reason you posted that story was just so that you could make that joke at the end.
Come on. Admit it.
I would think that this guy could sue for illegal search and seizure of ALL 51 condoms (how did the police KNOW he had them? Did he consent to being x-rayed to determine the presence of the condoms? Did he consent to the laxative? All valid legal questions).
In addition to that, he should sue the US government for restraint of trade, which led to him ingesting 51 condoms full of heroin in the first place, thereby putting himself in danger.
Honestly, things are so far out of whack in this country, that I wouldn’t be surprised to see this guy win (depending on where in the country he is).
Posted by: Stephan O’Rando at April 14, 2004 03:00 PM
You would think that something like that is a given, but there is always at least one that will look at it and say “Yeah, this scum bag has a point. He didn’t ask to have his life saved.” Sort of like the whole “I didn’t know the coffee in this cup was hot. Owww, I burnt myself. I’m suing!” Or my new favorite, “No one told me that if all I do is eat fast food and don’t exercise and do nothing but pull up to the first window that I’ll get fat!”
While I agree with you on the fast food lawsuits, i must protest on the coffee lawsuit.
the facts of the case were that Mcdonalds, to avoid having to constantly brew new coffee, kept their coffee superheated, at a temperature above 200 degrees. this was to disguise the fact that the coffee might have gone stale. the coffee was so hot that if spilled on human flesh, there would not be enough time to clean it off before 3rd degree burns ensued.
Mcdonalds knew this, and had been sued a number of times before on this same issue. previously, they had been able to settle these cases. In the old woman’s case, it was found that the coffee was so hot as to raise burns instantly, and that the top had not been adequately fastened to prevent spilling.
additionally, the punitive award that the jury gave her was reduced by the judge. her total award ended up covering her extensive skin grafts and a couple thousand for damages.
the end result? Mcdonalds no longer superheats their coffee.
many lawsuits are indeed frivolous, but sometimes the ones that seem simple do indeed have merit.
If not for the fact this really is ligitmately taking up the court’s already overworked time – this would be funny, as to how stupid this situation is. Boy – I hope the Judge has a ball berrating this guy. “Still have nightmare” my foot…
Seems like a simple choice to me. If this mule pursues this, give him the condoms o’ heroin back and let him reingest them. Then bust him for possession and let him sit in a cell until they pass out naturally or until they rupture in his system and he dies of poisoning.
Or, better yet, have him swallow the condoms again, and the police can drop him in the worst drug area of town wearing a sandwich board that says “I have 51 condoms full of heroin in my stomach”. Problem solved.
I, for one, hope he does wind up in jail and thus is introduced to the wonderful world of con-dom.
Bozo the Clown: “This is why we need tort reform.”
Those Ðámņ Torts!
>> Hmmmm…. remind you of a certain, current residence of the White House?
The only phrase the echoed in my mind was “Vast Right Wing Conspiracy…”
Not really. If they went that far, it’s likely they had just cause to go through with that “search,” and the surgery. You don’t feed a guy laxative because you *think* he *might* have condoms full of drugs in his intestines.
You do understand the concept of sarcasm, don’t you?
Ironically, the New York Post just had an editorial cartoon that went like this:
“McDonald’s Made Me fat!”
“Phillip Morris Gave Me cancer!”
“Jack Daniels made me crash my car!”
“Too bad I wasn’t around to STOP them!”
I’m surprised that the guy who swallowed the 51 condoms doesn’t go after the condom company, or maybe he should because of the grief he went through (devil’s advocate end). I mean is there really a disclaimer on the box of condoms or the wrapper that warns about avoiding these situations.
>>
>>Ironically, the New York Post just had an editorial cartoon that went like this:
“McDonald’s Made Me fat!”
“Phillip Morris Gave Me cancer!”
“Jack Daniels made me crash my car!”
“Too bad I wasn’t around to STOP them!”
That cartoon is by Jim Borgman and was originally from The Cincinnati Enquirer. Nice opportunity to plug my workplace (and Jim, a fine cartoonist).
What I want to know is whether the condoms were lubricated or not. 🙂
Oooo, you people are so cruel!! Don’t you understand this man had issues? You’ve never walked a mile in his shoes so you can’t judge him! You don’t know what he’s really like!! (Have I left out any of the usual TV Daytime Talk Show justifications for dumba$$ folks like this bozo?)
I’d like to see him commit suicide by shooting himself in the head 30 times pausing only once to reload.
If you think this is ridiculous, and we need Tort Reform, then you better not vote for John Kerry.
Even if i wasn’t much more conservative than he, i’d never put a trial lawyer in office, cuz i don’t think one of them would support even a mild and reasonable tort reform measure.
Elayne, here is one link to a story that is coming up on a couple years old now:
http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/artikel.php?ID=24077
Some coffee connoisseurs believe that it needs to
be hot to taste good. It used to taste good, now
it tastes like crap. I no longer drink McDonald’s
coffee not because it’s too hot, but because it no
longer tastes good.
The woman in question was holding the coffee
between her legs when she spilled it.
Lawsuit complained it was an entire 20 degrees
hotter than other restaurants.
Now McDonald’s coffee cups have the warning “HOT”
to warn unsuspecting people that their coffee is
in fact hot. I can imagine a guy who doesn’t
speak english suing, because hot wasn’t written in
his native language.
Something similar actually happened to me.
I was at a hotel for training with a consultant.
First morning we decided to get coffee at the
hotel, tea for him. Since it was such a beautiful
spring morning we wanted to drink outside. A
pretty counter girl served us our drinks in
disposable cups and snapped the no spill lids on.
When he asked about sugar and sweeteners she
sweetly directed us to the condiment area. I
drank mine straight.
Consultant had a bit of trouble pulling off the
no spill lid. He ended up squeezing the cup and
spilling the hot water overflow onto his hand
which reddened. Oh how he angrily stormed over to
screamed at the poor girl, probably a college
student working a summer job. After apologizing
“I’m very sorry sir” numerous times the head chef
came over to the commotion.
Consultant complained the cups were too weak
and easy to crush. Chef explained that these cups
were the strongest disposable cups he could buy
and offered free breakfast. Consultant refused
and went to the front desk to complain loudly.
“Look at my hand! It’s red! What are you going to
do about it? I’ll call my lawyer!”
I was embarrassed to be with him. In the end he
got one night free at the hotel. I was impressed
though by the professionalism of the entire staff.
Everyone politely apologized repeatedly even
though I’m sure the exact opposite was running
through their minds.
Howard:
>>The woman in question was holding the coffee
between her legs when she spilled it.
Lawsuit complained it was an entire 20 degrees
hotter than other restaurants.
Now McDonald’s coffee cups have the warning “HOT”
to warn unsuspecting people that their coffee is
in fact hot. I can imagine a guy who doesn’t
speak english suing, because hot wasn’t written in
his native language.
Actually, I don’t know that most of us have all of the relevant information, but I’ve heard that in that particular case, the woman in question actually had to have skin grafts or some similar procedure done to repair the damage done to her legs. I worked at a McDonalds and have had their coffee quite often in tha past… it was unbearably hot. May not be a smart lady, but the case isn’t as black & white as I’d originally thought.
>>Something similar actually happened to me.
I was at a hotel for training with a consultant.
First morning we decided to get coffee at the
hotel, tea for him. Since it was such a beautiful
spring morning we wanted to drink outside. A
pretty counter girl served us our drinks in
disposable cups and snapped the no spill lids on.
When he asked about sugar and sweeteners she
sweetly directed us to the condiment area. I
drank mine straight.
Consultant had a bit of trouble pulling off the
no spill lid. He ended up squeezing the cup and
spilling the hot water overflow onto his hand
which reddened. Oh how he angrily stormed over to
screamed at the poor girl, probably a college
student working a summer job. After apologizing
“I’m very sorry sir” numerous times the head chef
came over to the commotion.
Consultant complained the cups were too weak
and easy to crush. Chef explained that these cups
were the strongest disposable cups he could buy
and offered free breakfast. Consultant refused
and went to the front desk to complain loudly.
“Look at my hand! It’s red! What are you going to
do about it? I’ll call my lawyer!”
I was embarrassed to be with him. In the end he
got one night free at the hotel. I was impressed
though by the professionalism of the entire staff.
Everyone politely apologized repeatedly even
though I’m sure the exact opposite was running
through their minds.
After his comment, I’d be hard-oressed not to hand him a red marker to make his other hand a match, therefore addressing his original concern.
Ultimately, my big concern here is the death of common sense and taking responsibility for one’s actions.
Fred
Even if i wasn’t much more conservative than he, i’d never put a trial lawyer in office, cuz i don’t think one of them would support even a mild and reasonable tort reform measure.
Good for you! Except that Kerry’s experience as an attorney is as a prosecutor, not a civil trial lawyer.
Maybe you have him confused with John Edwards?
Good point, i was confusing John Edwards and John Kerry. A foolish error…
Though Kerry is likely not a heckuva lot better. The Democratic Party gets a lot of money from trial lawyers, and they sure as heck don’t want tort reform when they could be making millions off stupid suits like these.
Last week, I had the pleasure of interviewing Marvel’s Avi Arad for the lowdown on all the upcoming (and possibly upcoming Marvel movies). The story runs tomorrow. If you would like me to e-mail the story to you, or get info on a lot of cool stuff I wasn’t able to include due to space reasons,simply e-mail me at: jeromemaida@hotmail.com.
Thanks,
Jerome Maida
” it was unbearably hot. May not be a smart lady, but the case isn’t as black & white as I’d originally thought.”
The coffee mayhave been hotter than expected, but one fact remains: spilt coffee tends to stain things. One has to be remarkably dim or careless not to take this into consideration and so place it where it could do damage of one type or another. At the very least she should have been anticipating a dry cleaning bill due to her carelessness.
Unfortunately, turning around and suing a company because she didn’t pause to think things through is all too typical of our societies, I fear.
” it was unbearably hot. May not be a smart lady, but the case isn’t as black & white as I’d originally thought.”
The coffee mayhave been hotter than expected, but one fact remains: spilt coffee tends to stain things. One has to be remarkably dim or careless not to take this into consideration and so place it where it could do damage of one type or another. At the very least she should have been anticipating a dry cleaning bill due to her carelessness.
>Unfortunately, turning around and suing a company because she didn’t pause to think things through is all too typical of our societies, I fear.
I don’t disagree. If the coffee was significantly hotter than is safe, than suing for coverage of grafts, and pain, and legal fees does not seem too ridiculous.
This was the first case that seemed to open up our court systems to the over-the-top suits.
Fred
While the McDonalds hot coffee lawsuit is infamous, when it comes to talking about ridiculious lawsuits, the one that always makes me mad is the bicycle lawsuit.
The specific details (names involved, the company that made the bike, etc…) elude me right now, but I remember seeing this story on 20/20.
A man was riding his bike, at night (in the dark) with no lights, just the reflectors that came with the bike.
He was hit by a car.
He wound up suing the bike manufacturer for, not having anywhere on the box that the bike came in, “don’t ride this bike at night”.
And he won the suit.
I don’t think we need tort reform in this country as much as we need common-sense reform. There should be an idiot clause somewhere in the law that says if you get injured in the course of doing something reckless, stupid and/or downright illegal (like, say, swallow 41 condoms full heroin), you have waived your right to sue anyone for any reason for injuries that stem from your own stupidity.
This is the latest news item dated April 14, 2004
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/183579p-159163c.html
Would you like a little parafin oil with your condoms?
Gah…Even if he didn’t wind up in the hospital, imagine all the šhìŧ he’d have to go through in order to get the heroine.
Peter David: Here’s hoping the judge gives the mule a swift kick in the ášš.
Luigi Novi: Why a kick? Why not just take those seven condomns and stuff
One addendum to this story posters may find interesting:
In New York yesterday, the heroin guy was in court for the aforementioned case.
At the same time, Richard Timmons was in the same courthouse. Nearly seven years ago, daddy Dearest whipped out an ax and chopped off the heads of his wife and two little sons in their Long Island City apartment.
But he wasn’t in court for that. Despite hacking three people to death, he has been sprung from the can.
No, this madman was in the midst of hogging two full days of court time because he brought a lawsuit in which he demanded that the city of New York pay him $80 MILLION!
He claims arresting officers had roughed him up and that he was sure of it, despite being high as a kite at the time of his arrest.
“I’ve proven their lies by factual proof”, said Simmons – who was acting as his own lawyer – at the hearing.
Thankfully, jurors rules after 50 minutes of deliberatio that Timmons should not get a dime.
“Could we at least get a “loser pays for everyone’s lawyer” provision? Or do the trial lawyers have at least one political party by the short hairs? (rhetorical question)”
Thankfully, we do NOT have such a system in place yet. If you think this through, you’d hopefully agree that such a provision would only reward the rich and punish the poor and middle class, because only people who could afford to pay the other side’s fees and costs would file suits. Such a provision does not affect the merit of lawsuits filed by any significant measure, just the income level of plaintiffs.