Make him stop shouting. For the love of God and the spirit of Johnny Carson looking down and wincing, make Chris Rock stop freakin' SHOUTING. Will someone please tell this guy that if your material sucks, then kicking it into high decibels doesn't make it better; it just makes it louder.
An occasional amusing line is tossed in here and there, but most of what he says is achingly unfunny. During his man-in-the-street interview sequence, the twenty second appearance of Albert Brooks made it clear that Brooks is infinitely more qualified to host than Rock. Jesus, Edna Mode is more qualified to host.
It is painful to see time-saving bits like lining up all the nominees or bringing the Oscars to people's seats, like pizza delivery, with a caste system that says some people belong on stage and others don't, and then watch the show hemorrhage time with Rock's routines and other lugubrious presentations.
Not to go all Comic Book Guy, but this is going to go down in history as one of the worst Oscar broadcasts ever.
PAD
Posted by Peter David at February 27, 2005 10:33 PM | TrackBack | Other blogs commentingAmen, PAD. I feel like George C Scott in HARDCORE.
"And she's the first woman nominated for playing a boxer"
WTF?
I thought the opening was quite funny, but Rock seems to have run out of steam. That, or the machine-like precision of the broadcast (including the embarassing "beauty pageant" style of some of the presentations) have sapped the life out the event, yet again.
I think I still prefer Rock's yelling to Billy Crystal's schtick. Steve Martin bested them both and has been the superior host these past few years, IMHO.
And I can't believe pop vocalists were in such short supply that we need to hear from Beyonce Knowles three times.
My suggestions to decrease the running time of this albatross would be to A) shunt the Sound awards to the Technical ghetto, B) limit the Lifetime Achievement Award to one a year, and rotate it with the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian award, and C) never, ever do a "Salute to..." anything.
...and why the F*CK is Puff Daddy anywhere near this ceremony?!? If they need someone to intro a song from Polar Express then by God get Tom Hanks to do it. If not him, then ask Nona Gaye - hell, she was in the film AND has a music pedigree.
Whoops, Sean Penn just bitch-slapped Chris Rock.
All this crap and they give Hillary Swank the hook. Shameful!
Jamie Foxx, great speech. Only good moment in a sea of suck.
The Oscars as a whole is lame and boring and predictable. At least they picked someone different to host. Steve Martin is good but he's to nicey nice. Chris Rock has a real edge in his humor--and he hasn't used the N word yet so I'm not complaining.
If I'd taken a drink for every time something interesting happened on this show I'd be as sober as a judge.
The new standard by which all others will be judged. "The Asiatic Wars of 2012 killed countless millions...but they were certainly no Oscar Telecast of 2005."
They ended it with a jazzy version of the Terminator 2 Theme though...
That's pretty cool.
Likes:
Projection monitors. They gave a nice presentation from various camera angles (except for the time during the "in memorandum" segment when they cut to Yo Yo and you could barely see the monitor).
Nominees on stage. I thought it was a nice way to bring in some of the "smaller" awards and give them a little more highlight in a short amount of time. No waiting for the winner to stand up, hug everyone around them, and then amble up to the stage.
Bumper Music. It was nice to see a mix of popular movie and winning movie scores used going to the commercial breaks.
Dislikes:
Chris Rock. I like his comedy, I like him in movies, but I didn't like him here. You can be edgy or play it safe, but trying to walk the line just didn't work. Comedy doesn't always have to be insulting.
Awards in the audience. Wha??? I'm really hoping this was some kind of fall-back plan when a set change didn't happen in time and not something that was planned for all along.
The "in audience" awards was planned from the get-go. Producer Gil Cates was crowing about it in one of last week's USA Today. I contend anyone who has produced the show 147 times like he has is incapable of bringing anything fresh to the proceedings.
While I do think Rock was quite inadequate as a host, I liked the telecast overall. I think bringing onstage all the nominees for the more artistic-technical awards, docus, etc. was inspired; the audience gets to applaud all their efforts and they can bask in that applause even if they don't get the Oscar. I didn't think the "taking it to the seats" thing worked as well though. And I'm much more impressed with Beyonce than I was before; shame they couldn't find any other singers though...
PAD, your rant sounds more like a rant against Rock's general act and style of comedy rather than specifically his Academy performance. His deliverance of jokes might not be to your liking, but I don't think it's fair to say that his form of emphasizing makes it "worse." Just say you don't like it.
" Just say you don't like it."
I think he did. Not the way Chekhov would, but the message got across.
The only problem I had with Chris Rock hosting was that the opening seemed like it should have been shot with a brick wall behind him. It was Chris Rock style, but Chris Rock the comedian, not Chris Rock, host.
And the "quickening" of the show took away some of the glamour of the night. It's an event, let it run 4 or so hours and just start it earlier. It's a great way to get people together for parties and if you rush it, how are you going to make snarky comments with your friends during the normal slow spots?
I hated the "caste system" presentation of awards, as PAD put it. I thought it was poorly done, and it really tries to put people on different pedestals, which is wrong.
And I don't like the idea of throwing the Sound awards to the "Technical ghetto" either. As the one receipient said, these are art awards too.
But the biggest thing they should do, if they really want to cut down on time, is cut down on the damn number of commercial breaks. Cripes.
I didn't think Rock did a bad job, but after Foxx's speech, it makes me wish they'd tap him to do it in the future at least once.
If they used Beyonce one more time, I was going to throw a f***ing penguin at the television...
Gee, now I remember why I don't even watch the awards anymore.
(aside from my personal boycotting of the Emmys because dammit, HBO does not belong on commericial tv awards because it has the budget/lack of sponsers to do stuff no one else can)
/rant off
but yeah, I can usually find something better (like the cartoon network) to watch for four hours.
I just wish other networks, especially cable ones would counter-program instead of pre-empting their regular schedule thinking that *everyone* would be watching the award show.
I dunno, I didn't really have a problem with technical awards and such getting shunted to tiny little "line-ups". If they cut "Best Sound Editing" from the show, would the average viewer even notice? May as well cut out the dead wood and shorten the show a little.
Couldn't disagree with you more about Rock -- I thought he was hilarious and that he did a fine job -- much better than David Letterman or Whoopi Goldberg. Steve Martin and Billy Crystal have done better in the past but I like that the awards went with someone younger and hipper. I'd really love to see Martin give it another go some time, but I'd be very happy to see Rock get another shot, too.
That said, I hated the "time-saving." I couldn't help but note that they pulled the hook on the one guy that pointed out that the so-called technical categories were deserving of recognition, too. I was surprised that they pulled it on Swank, and even more surprised that they pulled it on the Best Picture winners at the end. But yeah, Jamie Foxx got to go on as long as he pleased. Great speech, but there was definitely some inequity there.
Was glad to see ETERNAL SUNSHINE win for original screenplay and I would have liked to have seen Winslet win as well. I would have been equally as happy if THE INCREDIBLES had won screenplay, and was glad it won two other awards. I still think score should have gone to HARRY POTTER 3 or LEMONY SNICKET, both of which had such fantastic scores that I bought the score albums. Nice to see Morgan Freeman finally win, as well. I loved the speech from the male half of the LEMONY SNICKET make-up team. And am I the only one that thought SUPER SIZE-ME's loss for documentary was a major snub? It seemed like a shoo-in.
Craig J. Reis posted: I didn't think Rock did a bad job, but after Foxx's speech, it makes me wish they'd tap him to do it in the future at least once.
Oh, dear me, no. I've seen Foxx host a few awards shows, and while he's an excellent actor, Letterman did a better job on the Oscars back when he famously bombed than Foxx has done as a kudofest's host.
Again, I thought Rock was great. I'd love to see Steve Martin back, and I'd eventually like to see Billy Crystal back, but he could use a few more years off. I'd be very happy to see Rock host again.
Actually, I disagree, I think Rock is one of the few comics who when he shouts it actually IS funnier. He's got one of the best haggard voices, when he starts screaming his punchlines.
one of my fav bits is in Bowling for Columbine when he's shouting at the top of his lungs: "You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? Bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5000. You know why? If a bullet cost $5000 there'd be no more innocent bystanders. Or if someone has a score to settle, being like, "You know what, I would fucking put a cap in your ass... if I could afford it! I'm gonna save up some money, maybe get a second job or something, then you a motherfuckin' dead man!"
He also has a great routine when he talks about "the only thing daddy gets is the big piece of chicken".
Like I said, screaming for most commedians means thier bombing, but for Chris Rock, its freakin gold.
OK, first let me commit Oscar sacrilege and say that imo, Steve Martin was the best host I've ever seen. That said, Chris Rock was much better than I thought he'd be and he made some good shots at W.I liked Robin Williams' bit. Would like to maybe see him host.
Things I didn't like? Basically the audience acceptances and Beyonce. It's not like Emmy Rossum didn't sing in the movie and wasn't right there. She introduced the dang song for goodness sake!
And anytime I get to see Salma Hayek stand up and talk is a good thing.
Documentary wasn't so much a snub as a compromise, imo. If F9/11 wasn't gonna be nominated the Academy probably felt that Supersize Me was a bit too lighthearted.
Incredibles won so that made me happy. Spider-Man 2 won an award and that's nice. My favorite line of the night actually happened in the press room after the show. I watched the webcast and Eastwood said something like "Well, we were up last year but got hobbitt-ed".He also said that "Election" was one of the best movies in recent years and while I agree, I was surprised. I never thought that would be his type of movie for some reason.
Michael J Norton
Speaking of Lettermen, did anyone think when they gave out the awards in the audience that it looked just like they were about to play Stump The Band?
I didn't have a problem with it only running nine minutes over. Must be a new record.
Chris Rock's style is different, but he was funny. Robin William's did prove however, that he should have been the host. As much as I liked Rock as the host, Williams was funnier in his few moments on screen then Rock was all night.
I also like Jeremy Irons' presentation. He obviously listened to the introduction, and his "hoped they missed" line was priceless.
I thought the show itself was among the worst ever but thought Chris Rock did a fine job. His introduction of Halle Berry as "the star of the eagerly awaited Catwoman 2" was priceless and ballsy.
I think Chris Rock did a good job as host... I've seen better, but Chris was solid. I think he tried too much not to be so "edgy" that he lost a bit of himself, but given that it was his first time hosting the Oscars, he didn't do a bad job.
I thought having the awards presented in the seats was a bit tactless on the Academy's part... but I didn't see too much of a problem with bringing all of the nominees up on stage together.
I'm happy for Foxx, Freeman, and all the other winners as well.
I had the perfect solution - I didn't watch the whole thing. I just flipped to it every once in a while. Caught Robin Williams - very good, although I understand that Disney wouldn't allow him to do a schtick he wanted to do with Disney songs...Chris Rock seemed as interesting a host as a literal rock from what I saw. Glad to see the Incredibles won. The acceptance speech even mentioned Disney, which was very nice. But it wasn't interesting enough to keep me up - there wasn't anything on the other stations that I wanted to watch.
Rock is a great comedian but that doesn't mean he makes a great host. I'd much rather see him do standup than Billy Crystal but I hope they do whatever it takes to get Crystal back next year.
Robin Williams might be good, though I thought his skit last night was weak (others seemed to like it a lot--I guess it's just that as a comics/cartoons fan it seemed pretty old hat but you can't get comics fans in a room together without someone launching into a bunch of sex jokes involving Josie and The Pussycats, Smurfs, and Donald Duck. Or maybe that's just the people I hang out with...)
Why do people even watch the Academy awards any more? I used to, but then I realized:
1. It is monumentally boring.
2. If you care about what gets the major awards, you can find that out in about 30 seconds in the newspaper or on the net the next day, thereby keeping you from wasting hours of time. I mean, how does it impact your life to wait 8 hours to find out who won what award?
3. I didn't really care much about what some small clique thought was the best film of the year, anyway. For example, you can give Titanic an award, and it still is a laughable piece of garbage. And you can snub Spiderman 2, and it still is a fine film.
So I happily skipped them. The Academy Awards are kind of like the superbowl, only moreso, but minus the football game and the cool commercials. It is an event everyone watches because it is an event everyone watches, not because it is actually enjoyable or important or anything.
Not only did I not watch the Oscars -- if I liked a movie, I don't need for it to get a statue to validate my opinion -- but I was upset that the show managed to "shut out" almost every other channel. CNN reported on fashions, Fox showed the movie INDEPENDENCE DAY (which wasn't even good when it was new), other stations showed reruns. There was one saving grace on the tube, one show that restored my faith in entertaining programming:
Robot Chicken.
'Nuff said.
I only caught bits and pieces. I was happy to see Incredibles win, as it should have. But I was horribly disappointed when Edna Moss appeared to help with the costume award, and yet did not go off on a rant about how her designs for Incredibles didn't get a nomination. That would have been an absolute riot.
Yes, indeed, get Robin to host. He alone could get the show to justify the long timeslot and boost ratings.
Bill Mulligan wirtes
I'd much rather see [Chris Rock] do standup than Billy Crystal but I hope they do whatever it takes to get Crystal back next year.
Presumably, a main reason Crystal didn't host this year is that he's doing his one-man show 700 Sundays on Broadway. Which means that (a) it's certainly possible that he'll be available for the Hollywood Oscar gig next year; and (b) if you're missing your Billy-Crystal-as-awards-show host fix, you can join those who're hoping he'll host this year's Tony awards...
Actually Robin Williams did co-host the Oscars back in the days when they flirted with a "multi-host" format. Of course, splitting the chores with three others severely limited Williams' screen time.
And I question whether Disney really quashed Williams' efforts to riff on their songs. The year that Rob Lowe danced with Snow White, Williams came out in oversized hands and mouse ears to do whole riff on Disney itself...
Me, I thought Chris Rock did an adequate job, but not much else. I didn't get the joke about this being the "last" Oscars, and most of his other jokes were either unfunny, or just but not edgy. I did like his Bush/Gap/Banana Republic joke.
It also seemed comparitively short to me compared to previous years, since it was only just over three hours. I wonder if having all the nominees of some categories on stage simultaneously and having some presenters do their presentations from a short distance from their seats helped this. And maybe it was my imagination, but the In Memoriam sequence also seemed much shorter than in previous years, with far less people profiled.
The funniest part was the post-coverage where the reporter asked Usher how Rock did on a scale of 1 to 10, and Usher said "10." Geez, Usher, you think you could take your nose out of Rock's ass for just a second?
It was funny. Rock did a good job. Only complaints I had was Swank didn't deserve the award (her southern accent in MDB was truly horrible), and Scorcese should've finally gotten his.
It all comes down to numbers...
The preliminary ratings were up, especially among younger viewers.
That's why Chris Rock was there. That's why he might be back.
although I understand that Disney wouldn't allow him to do a schtick he wanted to do with Disney songs
Is that why he came out wearing tape over his mouth? Or was that a dig at the oversensitivity of the networks in the post-Janet era?
Loves:
1) Jamie Foxx's acceptance speech.
2) Robin William's intro
3) "When this man is not dazzling us with his performances, he's boring us to death with his politics" - Rock about Tim Robbins
4) Easy Reader FINALLY won his Oscar! (um, does that date me too much?)
5) Edna Mode as presenter
Likes:
1) The technical awards nominees on stage
2) The projected video on the stage where the above nominees stood
3) Tribute to Johnny Carson - tails and all, he hosted effortlessly. Let the others learn from his example.
4) Sidney Lumet's speech - "I thank the movies" - Classy, very classy
Dislikes:
1) The short subjects being put on the short bus (aka the "we don't want you on stage" awards)
2) Antonio Banderas singing?? (Ok, it wasn't quite that bad, but it just wasn't something I was prepared for...)
3) "Jude Law is one of the finest actors" - Sean Penn. Dude, get over yourself already. You've got your statue last year finally, don't tarnish it.
4) Beyonce*3 - Once was great, twice was "who's sick?", three was "does she have a new album coming out or something?". I much would have preferred all the original artists singing their songs.
5) Trying to get in under the 3 hour mark. I don't mind it running half-hour or forty-five minutes over as long as it's not like the 4.5 hour eternal nighmare like the one from two or three years ago. This years' felt like they were racing to get through it.
Overall, it wasn't a complete disaster but it was just missing some spark that was present in previous broadcasts.
"The Oscars as a whole is lame and boring and predictable."
So, with all due respect, why watch it, then? I don't, precisely because I agree with your evaluation.
I'm happy that Scorcese didn't win. Not because I don't like him (I do) and not for any reason dealing witht he aviator (didn't see it) but because I think he should just give up trying for the oscar, big budget melodrama what not, and go back to making the really great independant minded cinema he got famous for.
In my mind the oscars are like the kids at the cool table in high school horribly tormenting a dweeb (as represented by Scorcese) who so badly wants to sit with them. All four years this dweeb has tried everything he could think of to land a seat at the cool kids table, and now, at the end of senior year, the cool kids, purely out of pity, say to the Dweeb: 'Sure come sit with us.' Every one in the lunch room knows that the dweeb doesn't belong at that table but everyone just winks and smiles like they're in on the joke. Sure the dweeb might be really great, and in the future be remembered as being greater than all the cool kids combined, accepting the dweeb this one time, and so late, just shows how much of a joke they really think of him and are just letting him sit with them this once so he shuts-up and goes on his way. That's Scorcese in a nutshell. He should just stop trying to pander to the "almighty" Oscar and go back to making great independent minded films like he used to.
And I'm psyched that Charlie Kaufman won. I didn't think it was going to happen; the screenplay's I like always get nominated, they just never win. I'm very glad he did.
Am I the only one who, after seeing Kaufman last night, thought that he should have been played by Seth Green in ADAPTATION rather than Nicholas Cage? I realize the ADAPTATION character isn't necessarily the "real" Kaufman, but damn, the resemblance is uncanny.
my favorite post oscar moment was when eastwood was asked if he was going to an oscar party and he said he was going to dennys for a beer
you gotta love the guy
I don't know, I thought the bringing the awards into the audience thing and Scarlett Johannsen appearing in an orchestra box was supposed to make the show more exciting. Like, "Oooh, the Oscars. You never know where a star will pop out next!" I was intrigued!
Like, "Oooh, the Oscars. You never know where a star will pop out next!" I was intrigued!
Yeah, but if they keep it up, its just going to get over the top. Next thing you know, presenters will be on the roof and have to parachute down with the oscars.
Hmmmm... that wouldn't be such a bad idea after all...
Oh, and I thought the funniest part of the whole night was seeing Martin Lawrence almost angrily cradling an Oscar.
"YEAH! To everyone who says I would never get one of these - KISS MY BLACK @$$!"
Genius.
Y'know what was missing? Clips.
No clips of the shorts, animated or otherwise. Teeny-weeny clips of the noms in the big categories. Previously, we've gotten extended bits from each movie presented which made me say, "Hey, I missed that one, perhaps it's worth looking into." Especially with the shorts and documentaries, you might find those on IFC or Sundance Channel. Now, I've got no idea of what's worthwhile.
They couldn't squeeze Sandra Dee or John Raitt into the In Memoriam section?
For me, Rock bombed, except for the Gap vs Banana Republic war (irony: Gap already owns the Republic).
IMHO, the best picture was relegated to a secondary award: Incredibles is still the most incredible thing we've gotten in the last year.
Ray? Too long, too much emphasis on kicking the drugs, and went into full fake-documentary for the coda (Better idea: color-saturated flashes forward on the events of his later years).
Aviator? Also too long, awkwardly cut, cinematography gave us blue peas, and another crummy ending. "Wave of the Future" has such potential for showing that wave, and it was completely dropped.
Bringing Up Million Dollar Baby (sorry, had to): Great film, but not what you think you're going to see. The 'twist' isn't so much a twist like M Night as it is two completely different stories grafted together by a fade to black.
Finding Neverland: Coulda been a contender, just not a 'big' enough film. Actually enjoyed this more than the others.
Sideways: Yeah, I liked it, but it wasn't that great to take best picture. It's a little film. Eternal Sunshine deserved this spot.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS ANNOYED BY CHRIS ROCK'S SHOUTING -- ESPECIALLY DURING THE OPENING MONOLOGUE.
I actually turned the sound down on my TV in the opening minutes -- and I'm fairly used to Rock's delivery. Did someone tell him to turn up the decibels a notch? Shades of Sam Kinison!
This show was my wife's first introduction to Chris Rock. Needless to say, she's in no rush to see any more of his stuff.
And speaking of Edna Mode (who should host the Oscars, dahling), the Oscars.org web site had video clips of the post-award press room interviews, and when Brad Bird was on, this exchange occurred:
Reporter: "What does she (Edna Mode) think about the clothes people are wearing tonight?"
Brad Bird (as Edna): "Oh, dahling, some people looked absolutely gorgeous on the red carpet, and the others looked like they should be wearing it."
;-)
--R.J.
I thought Rock was Hillarious. I couldn't breathe durring his monologue.
One of my favorite moments was the end of the opening clips with Shrek and Charlie Chaplin..it was just a nifty little bit.
It wasn't that there was no one else to do the songs, it was deliberate snubbing. Minnie Driver was reportly "devastaded" when she learned she wasn't getting to sing the song at the Oscars (she sang it for the movie). Given the ALW didn't stand by his star, I'm glad Phantom lost the awards it was up for.
Another highlight nobody has mentioned--seeing that Sideshow Bob now sings for Counting Crows.
Drudge is now reporting that the national ratings are showing a drop from last year. Looks like it didn't play as well outside the major city markets as in.
critter42 wrote:
although I understand that Disney wouldn't allow him to do a schtick he wanted to do with Disney songs
Is that why he came out wearing tape over his mouth? Or was that a dig at the oversensitivity of the networks in the post-Janet era?
Yeah, presumably Robin Williams' tape-over-the-mouth thing was a joke to those who'd heard about the brouhaha over his other planned presentation.
The NY Times has an article about the thing that's available (at least for now) on their site at http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/27/movies/oscars/27williams.html?
Basically, it looks like Williams was planning to lampoon the Spongebob-Squarepants-is-a-gay-icon thing with a song joking about other cartoon characters' sins, but Standards & Practices onjected to certain parts. Since it'd be logisitcally difficult to rewrite the offending bits of the song in the little time remaining before the show, Williams abandoned the idea. (Although some of the jokes he actually told in the presentation were very much like the ones descibed as being part of the original song.)
Mark Evanier has a comment on the thing on his blog at http://www.newsfromme.com , theorizing that the whole thing wasn't just about Williams' song making fun of Disney characters, but rather something just part of the whole process of Standards & Practices...
One of my favorite moments was the end of the opening clips with Shrek and Charlie Chaplin..it was just a nifty little bit.
I thought that it was pertty wierd they were playing "Eminem - Lose Yourself" underneath that clip. That threw me right out.
Speaking of the music, did anyone else notice the TERMINATOR theme being played for the closing credits? I thought it was cool to hear Rock walk out to it, but hearing over the closing credits and they way they turned Brad Fidel's kick ass action score into elevator music was way kooky.
Next thing you know, presenters will be on the roof and have to parachute down with the oscars.
Maybe they can get Fartman...
Another highlight nobody has mentioned--seeing that Sideshow Bob now sings for Counting Crows.
*chuckle* Duritz's hair has been like that for a few years now.
At least it's no worse than Lenny Kravitz's "Medusa" years. :)
Speaking of the music, did anyone else notice the TERMINATOR theme being played for the closing credits?
It took me a minute to figure that one out.
They also played, iirc, the closing theme for Star Trek: TNG earlier in the show as well. I figured they were getting ready to introduce Patrick Stewart or something.
On a side note, Finding Neverland and Hotel Rwanda are both on my Netflix queue, since some movie companies still think the world revolves around New York and LA.
I'm a big fan of Rock's but I have to agree with you that he either had a terribly off night or he is just simply not the guy for the show. My other wish is that he'd cool it with the "F" word, a word I use many times a day. I hate its incessant use by so-called comedians just as much as I hate its incessant use by myself. 1
This year, I noticed, aside from Robin Williams,
practically no political comments at all. You mean to tell me that with War On Responsibility
continuing in Iraq and costing more American lives every day, and with Racism, Homophobia,
and Censorship all enjoying a resurgence today,
no one had much to say. Strange.
That aside, way to go, Jamie Foxx! and I liked
the Antonio Banderas thing with Santana, remember, Banderas stole "Evita" out fromunder Madonna so the guy can sing. Also, Beyonce may be a bit overexposed, but she is a Stone Cold
Knockout and she really can sing too.
I'll sit through a Chris Rock, David Letterman,or Steve Martin performance long before I'll ever endure the hosting of billy crystal or robin williams again.
That being said, the oscars were what they always were, and aside from Jamie's speech (which I imagine will be turned into a soundbite for the next three days), I won't recall any of it a week from now without prompting.
Not one mention of Theo Van Gogh?
Murdered for making a film? Not a peep not a picture in the RIP montage nothing.
No guts.
I don't watch award shows, but reading these postings I see things about Robin Williams. Has he done anything new in the last twenty years? It seems whenever I see him on a talk show he is doing the same old 'I'm crazy and out of control' schtick.
Mercifully, I was just getting back from Megacon and was at Bennigan's enjoying my supper with the guys and one gal. And we saw it, but the sound was off. Perfect way of viewing, good food, table of comic nerds and Chris Rock muted...
Best moment of the night was during Sydney's speech, they cut to Freeman for a second and he winks and flashes his oscar.
The only comedian who shouted that I thought was funny because of it was the late, great Sam Kinnison. I mean, there's no way you can make lines such as, "I read about tribes starving in deserts, and I just want to say to them...GO WHERE THE FOOD IS! YOU'RE IN A DESERT, MORONS! OF COURSE THERE'S NO FOOD WHERE YOU ARE! THAT'S WHY IT'S A *@#* DESERT! GO WHERE THE FOOD IS!" work unless it's at the top of your lungs.
PAD
gene hall writes:
I liked the Antonio Banderas thing with Santana, remember, Banderas stole "Evita" out fromunder Madonna so the guy can sing.
And don't forget he was nominated for a Tony Award for Lead Actor in a Musical for Nine a few years back (he lost to Harvey Fierstein in Hairspray) so he does have some real cred as a singer.
I posted this over at AnimationNation.com, but it deserves to be here too.
I believe the best solution to the Oscars speech problem is to have a countdown clock to time the speech. When the clock reaches zero, three high-pressure fire hoses unleash on the podium, knocking the winner off the stage.
For the more frail people (and I hate to make an example of her, but June Foray is the body type) get "The Executioner" from "It's Showtime at The Apollo" to come out, tapdance around the winner, make fun of him or her and force the sucker to truck off stage to the tune of "Christopher Columbus."
I'm reminded of the Thanksgiving episode of "West Wing" wherein CJ is pleading with the President to pardon a second turkey after already having pardoned one. When a bewildered Bartlet asks, "Won't I be seen as soft on turkeys?" CJ explains, “They sent me two turkeys. The most photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.” To which Bartlet responds, “If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.” "
PAD
Not one mention of Theo Van Gogh?
Murdered for making a film? Not a peep not a picture in the RIP montage nothing.
No guts.
I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous.
There were plenty of people who died last year who didn't make the In Memorium. Had Mr. Van Gogh not been offed by terrorists, who in the Academy or anywhere else in the USA would know who he was?
The use of the theme from ST:TMP was a tribute to Jerry Goldsmith who had passed away last year.
The use of the ST:TMP theme, and the Terminator 2 theme at the end was to use music familiar to the audience. Themes from popular movies were used at all of the commercial breaks.
I believe the best solution to the Oscars speech problem is to have a countdown clock to time the speech.
Actually, one of the receipients was on stage and joked about their being a 30 second countdown and stuff.
No firehose though. :)
I love being a fanboy. I love the idea of comics and movies and a lot of the stuff that makes us all fanboy. Call it "nerds" call it "geeks" I'll take on all titles. But there is ont aspect about being part of this crowd that annoys the hell out of me. You'd expect sci-fi, comic, movie or just art loving people to have more open minds. But this crowd sometimes makes David Duke look like a member of the Nation of Islam.
Now what do I mean by that? When ever too many Black faces show up in something the legion of (mostly white) fanboys/geeks/nerds have this aggressive hate for it. THAT is what I think everyone's real problem with the Matrix was. Put too much Black face or Black people in it and it will get ripped to shreds on fanboy sights - and that sucks. If the Black is just a sidekick (sans the Step-In-Fetchett/Lethal Weapon BS) it's alright. But put something black in a more then leading role, or have more then a passive - die for the white man to seek revenge for losing his sla. . .I man "friend" - then fanboys get rabid and silly. It's something I have noticed for years and maybe you should all check youselves. Because how are you going to talk about GOP if you have an agenda similar to theres when too much color get put in the otherwise white milk of everything.
That attitude sucks. Not that I expect you guys to really change, but I just thought I'd point it out.
Umar,
This is a joke, right? A clever parody of political correctness? A right wing attempt to make a statement by pretending to be a "liberal" who gets his panties in a twirl because a bunch of what he assumes are white folks have the temerity to dislike an Oscar telecast that was hosted by a black comedian.?
Because if you were serious you are, in the words of Harlan Ellison, stuffed full of wild blueberry muffins.
(Seriously, you think the problem people had with MATRIX RELOADED was that it had too many black faces? You really think that? Not the whole, you know, PLOT problem? And I liked the sequels more than most. But thanks for clueing us in to the REAL problems we had.)
I'm sure that getting on your high horse and "shaming" us with your oh so tolerant attitude gives you a warm feeling of quiet pride but be aware that some of us are old enough and/or savvy enough to see right through it. I'm afraid you'll have to do a bit more to earn any real brownie points around here, but this routine might play well among grade schoolers.
Umar:
>Now what do I mean by that? When ever too many Black faces show up in something the legion of (mostly white) fanboys/geeks/nerds have this aggressive hate for it. THAT is what I think everyone's real problem with the Matrix was. Put too much Black face or Black people in it and it will get ripped to shreds on fanboy sights - and that sucks. If the Black is just a sidekick (sans the Step-In-Fetchett/Lethal Weapon BS) it's alright. But put something black in a more then leading role, or have more then a passive - die for the white man to seek revenge for losing his sla. . .I man "friend" - then fanboys get rabid and silly. It's something I have noticed for years and maybe you should all check youselves. Because how are you going to talk about GOP if you have an agenda similar to theres when too much color get put in the otherwise white milk of everything.
Hey, that's not fair..... some of my favorite comics are Blood Syndicate.
** Sarcasm aside, would you care to share where you've "noticed for years"? Possibly some concrete examples. If this is anything other than a statistically significant sample of "fanboys", than you may want to check yourself and your own bias.
"That attitude sucks. Not that I expect you guys to really change, but I just thought I'd point it out"
Well, you may want to keep in mind a few things. First, I'm the one who opined that race factored into the Janet Jackson brouhaha, and if it had been a black man denuding a white woman, he would have been the one crucified instead of her. So I like to think I keep an open mind about such things.
That said, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't see race as being a factor at all in the success of various films insofar as fans are concerned. As I recall, fans liked "The Matrix." They didn't like the latter two because, I'm told, they were confusing, which has nothing to do with race. I didn't see fans getting "rabid and silly" over "Blade." Instead they supported it to such a degree that it generated two sequels. What have I seen fans get rabid and silly over? Organic webshooters. Ben Affleck as "Dardevil." Nipples on Batman's costume (okay, that one I'll give 'em.)
The point is, I think you're viewing the world through a prism that is just as distorted as you claim the views of others are...and with a lot less foundation to base it upon other than, well, your own bias. While you're looking for others to change, you might want to take a long look in the mirror.
PAD
I liked Chris Rock, Loved Jamie Foxx, Wondered where Jim Carrey was amongst other stars (I know he wasn't nominated but a couple of his movies were), Laughed my A** off at Robin Williams, Wondered why Puff Daddy was in the audience, laughed at Prince not even trying to pronounce that Spanish song that nobody heard before correctly, Thought Beyonce sang to much, and was way to overpowering to share that song with that kid with the big voice (though not big enough I suppose). Can someone please teach her how to listen to your partner when you're singing and TONE IT DOWN? But it just goes to prove that she's a spotlight hog.
And finally, While I admit pickings are slim now-a-days for movies of quality, c'mon, could they possibly pick any more movies nobody watched but possibly the only 4 actors in Hollywood?
THAT is what I think everyone's real problem with the Matrix was.
Umm, I had no problems with The Matrix.
Just wished, afterward, that they hadn't bothered with the 2nd and 3rd movies.
Why? Because, all around, I thought they fell short (and not because of black actors, or that the movies made you think).
Re: UMAR
Uh, guys...where have you all been? Umar is the guy who posted on this site foaming at the mouth about how the "racist" white police raped Tawana Brawley (or Tawanda Bradley), as he put it.
Umar is the one who has said this nation was created by "evil white men" and then went on about slavery, to which Karen - playing the dutiful guilty liberal - said "not all white people, Umar, just the ones in power". His latest rant included how the Bush Administration is making US(whites) fear THEM(blacks).
There is not one post Umar has made on this board that has not included him saying something angry about white people and/or seeing racism where even most die-hards would need a microscope.
Nobody ever noticed this before?
Nobody ever noticed this before?
I don't keep track of *that* many posting names around here. :)
Various random musings related to this thread:
1) I keep hearin about Sam Kinnison all over the place, but never really watched any of his stuff. Any DVDs or VHS tapes kickin around of a stand up special or two?
2) Man, am I ticked that SuperSize Me didn't win for Best Documentary. Ok, ok, so Born into Brothes was actually about, you know, an important issue and all that jazz. But SuperSize Me was damn entertaining! Had some nifty facts on nutrition habits of the average North American to boot. But dammit, when has the image of a man puking out a car window been as thought provoking as that one. And its funny to watch Suprlock’s slide down until he’s practically dying. Its great. I loved it.
3) I understand Edna Mode kicks ass. I understand and agree that The Incredibles kicks ass. Brad Bird also kicks ass. However, ANY time a live actor shares the stage with a cartoon character, I cringe. Even Edna Mode.
If anyone in Hollywood is reading this post (and I know you are) Stop. Doing. It. Please, for the sake of my . . . uh . . .something.
4) Aviator wuz robbed & Eternal Sunshine should have gotten more nominations. all I'm sayin. Thing is, I actually really liked million dollar baby right until the 3rd act, then it just turned into (how I saw it) blatant oscar bait.
5) Matrix: Reloaded ain't half bad. Take out the rave / sex scene and you got yourself a pretty kickass followup to the first film. I think Revoultions falters when Neo, Trinity & Morpheus become supporting characters in thier own movie. Still the Zion fight has some awesome FX and the Neo/Agent Smith final fight is probably the best in the entire series.
6) Umar? More like Annoying-ar. HAH! Take THAT! I showed you good!
All right, Umar. Put on a copy of "Avenue Q" and listen to the song "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist." And give yourself permission to think for a moment.
Now...who are the first people to throw a punch at white comic book nerds? Black guys. It was this way when I was in high school, in a district that was, in the terminology of the time, "changing." What better way for an insecure black teen to prove his toughness than beating up on targets that can't fight back? And what a target-rich environment was a high school full of intellectual-class Jews, and an isolated Catholic fat boy!
Having been the object of several such beatings, including one that might be considered close to homosexual rape, I can tell you that yes, there IS prejudice against blacks. It is the same prejudice a sane person will have towards bears in the woods. It's not safe to assume that it's Smokey out there - in fact, in Jonathan Winters's phrase, "if you see a bear wearing a ranger's hat, watch out."
It isn't hatred. It's fear. And the black kids who created and built on that fear really got off on it. It gave them a sense of power, the same way that the Bush Administration got power by encouraging Americans to be fearful. And of course, that sort of power backfires later on (as it will for Bush). What you're complaining about is the backfire.
I get along and work well with black people. But I will never, ever feel completely comfortable around them. In my gut will always be the twinge of fear that they're setting me up for another attack. And the comic book nerds you hate so much, who refused to buy good books like "Static" and "Icon," refused because those guys were the color of their oppressors. (IMHO, of course.)
There's word that the younger generations get along better, to the point where interracial dating and sex is no problem for them. Maybe so, but I think it's as fictional as "compassionate conservatism."
Ah crap, I remembered what I was going to say.
And what I was going to say is this.
Albert Brooks. His best role, to me, will always be Hank Scorpio.
HANK: Ingenius isn't it, Mr Bont?
BONT: Scorpio, you're totally mad!
HANK: I wouldn't point fingers, YOU JERK!
BONT: So, do you expect me to talk?
HANK: I don't expect anything from you expect to DIE and be a very cheap funeral!
Best episode ever. EVER.
Ah, Peterdavid.net, where people who dislike white folks like Umar and people who fear black folks like Thomas can agree on one thing...Bush Sucks!
Jerome,
I'd forgotten about Umar's earlier rantings. It's hard enough to keep up with the people whose opinions matter.
Thomas,
It just doesn't make sense to distrust or fear an entire race based on the actions of a few, especially when the few are from a very specific subgroup (teen thugs in a poorly run school). Even the thugs who beat you might have become decent people with age.
You'd be surprised how ell black and white kids can get along in a school that has a zero tolerance policy for fights. They pretty quickly find common ground (ok, the common ground is usually "We hate Mexicans." but it's common ground nonetheless.)
If you are STILL having trouble with black people at your age it may well be because they can sense your mistrust. Most people are not as good at hiding their true feelings as they think they are.
To others,
Thanks for the info on blood donations. I don't know, I certainly want them to ensure the blood supply is safe and some of the guidelines make sense...like barring hemophiliacs from donating blood (and idea that must have come from the prestigious Duh Institute) but since HIV rates are exploding among minorities does anyone seriously think they will ever try to exclude blacks or Hispanics from donating? Since the blood is tested for HIV anyway, why exclude anything (except drug addicts, since you would have to test the blood for every disease known to man.)
PAD:
"The only comedian who shouted that I thought was funny because of it was the late, great Sam Kinnison. "
Well, there was also the late, great Bill Hicks, a man who knew how to use a well-timed shout to great effect. Can't get much better than Hicks.
(Although I didn't think Rock was that bad. He wasn't as funny as he usually is, though, apart from that bit about The Gap.)
Sam Kinison, there was a man that died before his time...
Dunno about DVD or VHS of Kinison, but there are a few CDs of his stuff out there... the last was "Sam Kinison: Live from Hell" recorded live before his death...
Actually, Umar isn't the only black people I've heard to make that connection. Got to admit, I've thought it myself from time to time.
Yesterday morning, on The Tom Joyner show ( for those of you who don't know, Tom Joyner is a popular urban music radio host) they were talking about the Oscars and they did opine as to how many whites tuned out because the show was "too black".
Oh, and I never really got Kinnison. i mean, if it's not funny at normal speaking volume why would you think it's hilarious because he's shouting at the top of his lungs?
Bill Mulligan said:
"It just doesn't make sense to distrust or fear an entire race based on the actions of a few, especially when the few are from a very specific subgroup (teen thugs in a poorly run school). Even the thugs who beat you might have become decent people with age."
First off, it's not SUPPOSED to make sense. It's emotional. It is not rational. When that black football jock brutalized me, I wasn't thinking, "Gee, perhaps there are sociological problems here that I should be analyzing." If you reacted that way, perhaps you are a Vulcan.
Second, it isn't that automatic, complete prejudice you were thinking about. I did say that I work with black people that I know, and have no problems. But if I'm someplace on the street, I will automatically feel a momentary twinge of fear if I see a black person. That twinge wlll pass if I see them doing something that shows they are not dangerous - like smiling at their wife or their child, or reading a copy of "Fallen Angel" - but that twinge will always happen at first sight.
Third, ALL schools are poorly run. This is America, remember? The emotionally twisted people who become teachers in this country can't even teach reading. How do you expect them to carry out any plans to stop bullying - especially when they became teachers because they're bullies themselves? (And now, I expect to hear a bunch of replies from teachers who deny they are bullies. Horse hockey and lies.)
Finally, the thugs who beat me might have become decent people with age. What good does that do my terrified sixteen year-old self? Do you perhaps have Doc Brown's current address, so I can take their "decent" present day selves back to high school in his DeLorian to convince their youthful selves not to be punks, and not to hurt that young fat kid in the corner?
Any discussion of comedians who are actually funny when they yell is woefully incomplete without mention of the genius that is Lewis Black. He's on THE DAILY SHOW weekly, and should be on again tonight. Watch, and see a master.
Um, Thomas?
Both Bill and I *are* teachers. You want to call me a bully, fine -- but I wish you'd have the courtesy to do so face-to-face, or at least voice-to-voice. (I'm going to assume Bill can speak for himself on this point.)
I'm sorry you've had bad experiences -- we've all been there, though clearly not to the level you've apparently had. I am not, however, going to let you tar every teacher in the country, including some of the finest people I've ever worked with, with one broad brush simply because you've had a bad time.
TWL
Stew:
>>"The only comedian who shouted that I thought was funny because of it was the late, great Sam Kinnison. "
>Well, there was also the late, great Bill Hicks, a man who knew how to use a well-timed shout to great effect. Can't get much better than Hicks.
Couldn't agree more. Hicks was brilliant and very much deserving of the mainstream fame that he never quite achieved. Garth Ennis introduced me to him through his references of the man in the Preacher series.
I don't quite get the facination with Lewis Black though. I've listened to his stuff and he seems mediocre at best.
Fred
Any discussion of comedians who are actually funny when they yell is woefully incomplete without mention of the genius that is Lewis Black.
My wife and I went to see him live when he was touring with Dave Attell. Farking awesome. :)
That Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again that was recently on Comedy Central was filmed here in Denver, and if we actually KNEW about it, we would've probably tried to get tickets. *sigh*
If you like Improv comedy, get to tickets "An Evening with Colin and Brad" if they come to your town.
Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood put on one of the funniset shows I've ever seen. If you feel brave enough to risk being part of the show, get tickets as close to the stage as possible!
"Third, ALL schools are poorly run. This is America, remember? The emotionally twisted people who become teachers in this country can't even teach reading. How do you expect them to carry out any plans to stop bullying - especially when they became teachers because they're bullies themselves? (And now, I expect to hear a bunch of replies from teachers who deny they are bullies. Horse hockey and lies.)"
Soooo...I guess there's no point in my protesting that you are unfairly malaigning some of my favorite people (starting with but by no means limited to, me) because to do so will just prove your point.
I could ask for evidence that ALL schools are poorly run or that teachers are "emotionally twisted".
I could even point out that you are back peddling furiously, from your previous statement that you
" will never, ever feel completely comfortable around them." when referring to your black coworkers to your new opinion that you "have no problems" with them.
But since you seem to be driven by emotions, there is little to be gained by trying to reason with you. A person who relies on reason can be wroth arguing with--they may change their view or convince you to change yours. But I have not interest in getting into an emotional round of who can come up with the snappiest insult. As Paul Dickson once said, "Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig."
"I understand Edna Mode kicks ass. I understand and agree that The Incredibles kicks ass. Brad Bird also kicks ass. However, ANY time a live actor shares the stage with a cartoon character, I cringe. Even Edna Mode."
Yes, but I hear it was the Academy's insistence on having Brosnan co-present with her. ;-)
(Though IIRC, didn't Woody, Buzz Lightyear, and Jesse from Toy Story 2 did an Oscar presentation all by themselves a few years ago?)
--R.J.
Well, I got the expected teacher protests. Yawn. As for the basic incompetence of the American educational system, simply stand some busy afternoon at a snack bar where a menu board clearly posts what is for sale and what it costs. Count the number of people who ask the clerk, "What is that?" and "How much?" It's not that they absolutely CAN'T read in most cases. It's that they WON'T read, or that they don't read WELL. That's how badly they have been educated, how poorly teachers have lit their pilot lights. I could tell them a particular item was "turkey sushi" and they'd smile and nod, and ask for it the next time they showed up.
Thomas, you've got major issues, and they've got nothing to do with America's educational system. Seek help.
TWL
done here
(Though IIRC, didn't Woody, Buzz Lightyear, and Jesse from Toy Story 2 did an Oscar presentation all by themselves a few years ago?)
Yah, I remember that. I also remember way back when Toy Story 1 came out, they gave John Laseter a special achievement Oscar and a similar Buzz/Woody dog & Pony show took place. And then at the end, Laseter leaves his Oscar at the podium. And Whoopi Goldberg walks up there, shakes his head and says "That Laseter, never picking up his toys." and then there's the closeup of the Oscar suddenly becoming ANIMATED and frowning, complete with "Wah-wah-wahhhhhh" noise in the background.
Ugh. Shudder.
My problem w/ having animated characters on screen at awards (I liked it when I was, like, 9 years old or something) is that it just totally ruins any suspension of disbelief with those characters. It can *kinda* work if the lights go down and a video screen comes up, but when real life actors are up there on stage with animated counterparts, it just kills any sort of illusion and joy animated characters bring. For me, that is. I hate seeing the strings being pulled.
Actually my favourite part about the Edna Mode bit was Pierce Bronsan and his croak of death. I thought he was going to keel over and die on stage, that would have been sweet.
All this talk of animated characters as Oscar presenters reminds me of my absolute favorite instance of such "character" presentations.
If I recall correctly, for one telecast, Muppets Kermit the Frog and Scooter were presenting one award. Kermit says something about how it's nice that the Muppets are being allowed to present awards, how its a nice sign that the Academy is acknolwedging that the Muppets can do anything human presenters can do. They read the nominees, then Kermit asks Scooter to open the envelope...which, not really having fingers, he can't do!
Kermit goes into a brief trademark tizzy about how he just said Muppets could do anything, and the two of them sort of look down sheepishly and let Jim Henson come up from behind the podium to open the envelope and present the award.
(I vaguely remember that Jim Henson might even have cleared his throat and quipped, "Sorry, I have a frog in my throat" and then claimed he never made that joke before...)
My problem w/ having animated characters on screen at awards (I liked it when I was, like, 9 years old or something) is that it just totally ruins any suspension of disbelief with those characters. It can *kinda* work if the lights go down and a video screen comes up, but when real life actors are up there on stage with animated counterparts, it just kills any sort of illusion and joy animated characters bring. For me, that is. I hate seeing the strings being pulled.
I can never again take these things seriously after watching MTV do a dead-on parody on one of there movie award shows. The award was for something stupid like "Best prosthetic" and included the "Head on a Stick" from Men In Black and Mark Wahlberg's fake penis from Boogie Nights. They then showed Wahlberg's member dressed in a tux, sitting in a chair waiting while they announced the winner, only to go into a hissy fit when he lost. "Head on a stick? HEAD ON A STICK? Where's my agent?" it screamed.
Ok you had to be there. I nearly passed a can of diet coke through my nose.
Thomas, you've got major issues, and they've got nothing to do with America's educational system. Seek help.
Tim-- Well spoken.