BID Mailbag: No More Mr. Nice Guy continued

digresssmlOriginally published December 28, 2001, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1467

I was both surprised and not surprised over the reactions I received to my column about my frustrations with fans.

Michael M. of Mechanicsville, MD, wrote in to say, “A few weeks ago you wrote in your CBG column about comic book fans and how basically we’re all a bunch of jerks. Being a fan for well over half my life, I kinda agree with you. Some of the things I have seen at conventions and read online are pretty nasty. For such a wonderful (medium) as comic books, why are so many fans such imbeciles?” Michael then went on to discuss an exception to this fan overview, namely his eight year old son, Jonathan (who obviously is exceptionally bright since his favorite comic was Spyboy.)

I am not surprised that Michael believes that I think fans are “all a bunch of jerks.” I had a feeling that would be the impression derived from the column, mostly as a result of the following paragraph:

Now y’know, usually I say something like, “I’m not talking about every fan. I’m probably not talking about you. I’m talking about that guy standing behind you and to the right, trying to hide his face, trying not to make eye contact.” But I’m not saying that this time. I don’t feel like letting people off the hook. Because I want you to think about you, yourself, and I mean really think, and really consider, and say, “Hey, maybe he really is talking about me.”

The thing is, I never actually said that I thought all fans were a bunch of jerks. The problem is that when you write a critical essay about a certain group of people, the typical reaction for readers of the essay is to believe that they are not the subject of criticism. So I phrased that introductory paragraph in such a way as to encourage everyone reading to take a long, hard look at themselves. That’s all. I just wanted everyone to really, really think over their behavior and decide whether or not they’d indulged in behavior with pros that was less than considerate… not out of a desire to be mean or nasty, but just out of thoughtlessness.

Judging by some letters I received, many people did, in fact, get that. Or at the very least, they didn’t take umbrage over my simply wanting them to do some self-analysis. For instance, Joseph D. wrote, “I just wanted to let you know that I totally agree with everything you said and can understand your irritation. I’m sure most people have no idea what goes into creating a comic or even the logistics involved in making an appearance at a convention or store signing. Comic fans in general don’t seem to be happy unless they are griping about something. I wish I could say I’ve never acted in the fashion you describe, but I’m sure I have at some point. I also wish I could apologize on behalf of all fans, but that really has to be an individual thing. On the rare occasion that I do make it to a convention, I try to be respectful to all the creators I meet and thank them for their time.”

And at the Motor City convention just past, quite a few fans came by and not only made a point of being ultra-polite, but seemed to take great pleasure in doing so. Because they understood that behaving in that manner both gave them a clear conscience and also made the pro’s time spent there that much more enjoyable.

And hey, as an aside… for every fan who’s ever come up to me and then felt like kicking himself because he felt he said something really stupid, I feel your pain, brother. At Motor City, actor David Naughton was autographing across from me. He’s primarily known from American Werewolf in London, but I wanted to show how smart I was. So I ambled over and told him how great he was in the Broadway musical, City of Angels.

“That was my brother, James Naughton,” he replied.

See, gang? Someday you do can be a hot-shot pro and make a bigger jerk of yourself than you ever could as a fan.

What I was surprised about was the sentiment, voiced by no less an authority than Maggie herself, that I should follow up with a column about how nice fans can be.

Well… no. No, and here’s why:

I think it would be insulting to do so.

In the years upon years that I’ve been doing this column, I’ve cited dozens of instances of fan kindnesses, great and small. What would it be saying about fans if I thought they had such fragile egos that the only way they could handle a critical column was immediately to offset it with a glowing one.

Pros attend conventions primarily to give fans enjoyment. And yes, yes, I know, pros also sell material there, so the argument can be made that they’re directly profiting from the fans. I can’t speak for other pros, but for myself, most of the money I earn from selling comic book scripts, books and such, I wind up spending in the dealer’s room, and the rest goes to pay for meals and such. And it’s not as if it doesn’t cut both ways. When someone brings me twenty copies of Spider-Man 2099 #1, I know they’re for resale. I know the fan is going to be turning a buck off my signature. Hëll, Frank Miller did a store signing in New York the day that DK2 came out. Exactly three and a half hours later, autographed copies were hitting eBay. And you know what I think? Fine. Go in health. If my defacing a comic book with my signature can get a fan some money, bring ’em on.

But that didn’t mean much to Max F., who wrote in to inform me that “many fans would describe you as pontificating, ignorant, insensitive and mean.”

Insensitive? Mean? Max, don’t get me started. Don’t get me started about the fan who spent a year harassing me via computer boards, letter writing campaigns, and on radio talk shows, because I wouldn’t publicly debate him a la Todd McFarlane. Or the guys currently trying to flood out my alt.fan board with crossposted pørņ garbage in order to drive me off the Internet completely. Or the time Jo Duffy was lounging poolside at a convention hotel, only to hear a fan nearby describing her in the following terms: “That Jo Duffy guy, what a jerk he is.” Or the fan who tried to strangle a friend of mine in an elevator during the San Diego Comic Con.

Ðámņ. He got me started.

A column about how fans should behave? No, not at all necessary. For I am reminded of the episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, when a jittery Ted Baxter—on the eve of his wedding—asks Lou Grant for advice on how to improve himself. Grant tersely obliged him. The exchange went thusly: “Ted… you know the way you are?” “Yes.” “Don’t be that way.”

If I’ve described how fans shouldn’t be, do you guys really need me to tell you how you should be? I mean, jeez, wouldn’t that just be incredibly condescending? Even “pontificating?”

Did I ever intend to say that all fans are “jerks?” No, of course not. Are even most fans like that? No, of course not. Most fans are thoughtful and considerate, such as Anthony F. who wrote, “I was glad that you clarified a point that I was trying to make about fans questioning Kurt Busiek about his health and the status of Astro City. My intent in claiming that fan questions could be construed as concern as I believe it is with my students. However, as I read your column and then reread my letter, I realized that my point could be misunderstood. I applaud you for taking Jeff D. to task for his audacity.”

And frankly, the letter that meant the most to me… and the appropriate one to close this out with… was from Kurt Busiek, who wrote:

I just read the 11/16 column in CBG. Thanks. I appreciate it enormously. The column had Ann almost in tears, she was so pleased to see someone saying what you said.

So thank you.

And sure enough, now I know what all those Usenet threads about what a jerk you are are all about. Funny that they all railed at length about how you’re dissing the fans, and never once mentioned what you were saying all this stuff for…

But also sure enough, most of them–at least six of them–are the same guy, agreeing with himself.

Gotta love the Internet.

And again, thanks. But I am not neither thrifty! Ann’ll tell you…

Now that’s a nice guy. You guys want to know who to act like? Act like him.

(Peter David can be written to at Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705.)

 

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